Le Chatelier's Principle
by hazelra7
Summary: After the Status Quo Combustion, Sheldon needs to get back to Equilibrium. He returns to Pasadena with a solution: Break up with Amy and have her as a roommate. Will they be able to be roommates and keep the balance or will a change in the system cause an unexpected reaction?
1. Chapter 1

_**Author notes: Thank you for your reviews. I am going to try and imagine a scenario that the writers would do to us on the show. Given Amy's reaction to the the Table debacle, I think you will find this in character. This is a very Shamy Story. I love feedback! Thanks again for your support!**_

_**Le Chatelier's principle.**_

_**If a chemical system at equilibrium experiences a change in concentration, temperature, volume, or pressure, then the equilibrium shifts to counteract the imposed change and a new equilibrium is established.**_

_**Any change in**_** status quo **_**prompts an opposing reaction in the responding system.**_

_**Sheldon's thought process:**_

The last 4 months of his hitting the rails had been enlightening. His many weeks in New Jersey and New York retracing Einstein and Feynman steps had taught him much. Eventually, he relented and went to Texas. The last 3 months were spent concentrating on new theories. Sheldon has been exploring a proposed simplified anthropomorphic scenario for axion dark matter. His thoughts were completely interrupted on numerous occasions by thoughts of his living situation, and his girlfriend. Both of these problems disrupted his cognitive abilities and frankly, hindered scientific progress: an unacceptable scenario. He knew he had to get back to Cal Tech, back to work, back to a routine he could live with long term.

Therefore, Sheldon concentrated on his future environment. He needed to resolve his living situation, form an acceptable arrangement that would have lasting continuity. Plainly: He needed to get his house in order.

Sheldon figured out a solution to one of his problems: His living companion. Sheldon didn't like change, which was apparent to even the densest of observers. He had his routine, his rituals and most importantly order. He needed that in his life: equilibrium. Just like a chemical reaction, chemical equilibrium is the state in which both reactants and products are present in concentrations which have no further tendency to change with time. For years, Leonard was a reactant and Sheldon the product. There was equal concentration, and except for some forgettable situations, things had not changed. Leonard was the helpful for that at least; he helped Sheldon maintain order, keep routine.

With Leonard gone, the reaction was unbalanced. Sheldon would have to come up with new routines. Sheldon knew it just a matter of time before Penny talked him in to a larger place to live, like in Alta Dena or some such back water cesspool. Sooner or later, given Penny's propensity for coitus and Leonard's need for family bonding, they would procreate. Shutter the thought! Then Sheldon might have to deal with the little rug rats, who would be playing with his toys, knocking down his action figures, ripping his comics! NO. Sheldon had to accept that even if Leonard and Penny move next door, it is time to move on from that coupling, before he was hogtied into being "Uncle Shelly." Their coupling was too volatile.

Sheldon knew he needed SOMEONE though…

Someone who knew him, his routine, his likes, his dislikes. Someone who would drive him around. Someone he could mold into his will. Raj was out since that red head with her fancy genitals came into his life. Wolowitz was already tied to a 4 foot honey badger. No, Sheldon knew who he needed: Amy

Amy had suggested they cohabit before he left. The idea had merit; however, as boyfriend and girlfriend, there would be expectation of affection, increasing levels of intimacy eventually leading to coitus, marriage and possible offspring. The pressure was enough to turn Sheldon, a carbon based life form, into a diamond.

There was only one solution. Only one to his problem:

_**Break up with Amy and have her move in to 4A as a Friend, NOT a Girlfriend.**_

It was perfect. He was friends with Amy before he was her boyfriend. They got along perfectly. Amy bent to every whim and he graced her with his brilliance. It was the girlfriend/boyfriend paradigm that strained the relationship. Frankly, this boyfriend thing grew tiresome, so many expectations of physical contact, showing of affection, the dinners and endless caterwauling about his feelings was enough to drive Sheldon back to his mother's specialist for testing on being crazy. He needed someone he could depend on, yet wouldn't expect things from him. He needed a roommate, not a girlfriend.

Having a girlfriend was not an unpleasant experience. He enjoyed her devotion to him, her smile, and presence in his life. But as his roommate, he could have that without the expectation of, dare he say it … LOVE. It's the feelings that are clouding the issue. He only asked her to be his girlfriend out of jealousy, a petty emotion he dare not admit. Amy was his friend first. Sure, the hand holding was not totally… unpleasant. And he supposed the kiss on the train was memorable. Also the subsequent kissing he had added to their contract was not repellent. But Sheldon was willing to sacrifice physical affection for perfection of routine. He needed order more than the occasional kiss or hug. He needed a roommate, not a kissing buddy.

But what about Amy? Oh sure, there will be the typical estrogen based crying fit. He was willing to put up with that, he had a sister, he knew what to expect. But Amy wasn't his sister; she was a scientist, practical to a fault. He admired that about her. He admired anything about her that he saw in himself. Once Sheldon set out the reasoning and logical, Amy would see this was a wonderful solution. She could compartmentalize her feelings, as he has. He could teach her Kolinar, to suppress her feelings. Amy was almost as brilliant as he was; if he could do it, she could.

And let's be honest, physical contact is just a distraction. He had spent too much worrying about it. Thinking about the kiss on couch when she was drunk, the hand holding, the kiss on the train when she tasted of brownies. With his mind free from distractions, he could focus on his new field of study. He could continue on the path he took so long ago, straight to Stockholm to accept the prize that has been waiting for him for years.

This would be good for her as well; she would be able to concentrate on her work. While not as important as physics, neurobiology was an expanding study, and she was brilliant in her field, even though it deals with icky squishy things. Her constant worrying about their relationship has to be a distraction from hopes to achieve success. She might even find herself accepting a Nobel some day, although in biology, so not as sweet.

Additionally, how could she argue that this was not a step forward for their relation as friends? They could grow closer living together, becoming even better friends. They could help each other with research, play intellectual games together, learn new languages (Romulan perhaps) and fill their time expanding their minds, not feeding their baser urges. Amy will adore this plan! He couldn't wait to write her the good news.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

**Amy's thought process**

The last 4 months have been an exercise in patience. Amy talked to Sheldon almost every week, checking in with mundane conversations that usually ended with Sheldon's lack of interest in anything to do with Pasadena. He wouldn't say when he was coming home; just that he was still distracted and need to regain focus. Nothing about their relationship, nothing about missing her, nothing about anything that Amy cared about at all. It was torture.

At least her work hadn't suffered. During her addiction study, Amy had discovered specific micro RNA molecules responsible for addition. She was published and the research was getting noticed. Cal Tech and UCLA were vying for her. Cal Tech offered a significant signing bonus, and it was closer to Glendale, so Amy took the offer. She had only been there a week when she was given notice by her apartment complex that they were fumigating the basement and re-stuccoing the facade. She had to find a place to live for a week while they were working or suffer through a toxic cloud of chemicals thick enough to choke out the hardiest of folk and noise that would deafen a teenager.

Sheepishly, she thought of asking Sheldon if she could use his apartment. He wasn't there after all, and Leonard had been staying at Penny's . Amy would have to sleep in Leonard's room or she would have to sleep in Sheldon's room; she knew that was unacceptable to him. Resigned to live in an extended stay, she started to pack. Her lap top gave the familiar ring of an incoming Email.

Amy was excited when she saw it was Sheldon and the email had an attachment. Within 5 minutes of opening the email, her heart was made of lead. Sheldon wanted to break up and only be friends. Not only that but he wanted to live with her, but only platonically. The attachment was a Termination of the Relationship agreement and a revised Roommate Agreement.

Amy sat back in her chair, barely able to register what had happened. Shock hit her first, like a wave. She knew Sheldon was freaked out, but she thought they had at least moved past the deer in the headlights phase of their relationship.

Sheldon didn't want her as a girlfriend anymore. Devastated doesn't begin to express her next emotion, but that was quickly replaced by anger. Anger that he would let go of her so he could have a ROOMAMATE, a trained monkey who would come to his beck and call whenever the mood struck him. What about the train? Their kiss? Did it mean nothing?

Now, Amy was weak, weak in the knees. She knew loving Dr. Sheldon Cooper was a chore, but this? She thought he liked her, quirks and all? Didn't he say that? Didn't he say, "Were a couple, and I like you, quirks and all?" Tears puddle in her eyes, rejection filled her throat with pain. She fought back the tears from years of disappointment. For what? Why did she waste her time, ON HIM? She been nothing but patient, nothing but understanding.

She meant nothing to him.

Nothing…

Nothing…

Every bone in her body weighed as if they were lead, heavy and cold. She sat on the couch, staring at her Harp, hoping it would play something for her. Nothing.

After a while and her eyes could give no more tears, Amy pulled herself off the couch. She went back to the email, and opened the attachment, Roommate agreement.

As she read, she realized it was almost the same as the Relationship Agreement. She retrieved the notarized copy from her drawer. Line after line was the same. Same requirements for boo boo's and ouchies, same requirements for contact with visitors. No requirements on physical contact.

She texted Leonard.

_**Amy**__: Leonard, I know it late, but I need your help. Can you please send me a copy of your roommate agreement? I promise I will explain later. Please send as a PDF to my email. _

_**Leonard**__: No problem, I hope everything is okay. Sending now. _

5 minutes later, she was comparing line by line the two agreements. Leonard's agreement had the same requirements for driving Sheldon to work, for temperature regulations, and safety procedures. It had silly things about zombies and other science fiction references Amy rolled her eyes at. However, Amy's agreement had added restrictions on her personal engagements.

_The roommates will not bring unwelcome visitors of the opposite sex to the apartment._

_The roommates agree that no coitus will occur in the apartment._

She checked, Leonard's agreement was much less restrictive. Leonard agreement had required 24 hour notifications for visitors of the opposite sex staying over.

The more Amy read, it was apparent Sheldon had incorporated the relationship agreement, with all its restrictions on other men with the roommate agreement requirements to be at Sheldon's beck and call.

He wanted his cake and to eat it too. As Penny would say, "Oh hell no!"

Sheldon was right, Amy was practical. She mulled her options.

Sheldon was going to break up with her either way. She could just let him, get on with her life, and find someone new. However Amy knew Sheldon was just an idiot. He was scared child, not wanting his toy taken away, looking for a new playmate. Amy thought about Sheldon's offer, and remembered her economic theory classes: What was the opportunity cost of the choice? Even though the dismal science wasn't really science, they had something where choices were concerned.

The opportunity cost was the value of the best alternative forgone, In other words, was the value of Sheldon's friendship worth the loss of his relationship? Sheldon had determined it was worth the cost. However, Amy also remembered scarcity of supply creates demand. Sheldon liked kissing her, she knew it. Sheldon wanted to her to be his girlfriend; he was jealous to fault. Amy could play along, she how far she could make Sheldon squirm. At the end of day, she loved him, whether he understands love or not. She knew getting over him was nearly impossible. She was addicted to DR. Sheldon Cooper and she had not yet discovered how to turn off her micro RNA molecules. She needed a fix and if this was the only way, so be it.

Amy thought: _What about her daily life? It would be hard to live with him. He was a complete ass: self centered, conceited and unappreciative. Ricky the monkey was an easier roommate and he smoked. But Sheldon needed her, she knew it. Given certain reagents, Sheldon's reaction would be explosive. She was going to lose him either way; at least she would make him squirm. She needed a week away from her apartment anyway. Amy could agree to a trial period. She could give him the stability he needs, but on her terms, under her conditions. Their living together could be the catalyst he needs to change. She just had to watch the reaction, carefully._


	3. Chapter 3

**Leonard and Penny's Reaction**

"**Are you out of your fricking mind**?!" Screamed Penny and Leonard at the same time.

They rarely agreed, but this was ridiculous. Amy's calm demeanor was disturbing, and they both thought they needed to jar some sense into her.

"He doesn't deserve you."

"He'll walk all over you"

"Do you have any idea how hard it is to live with that psycho?"

"He broke up with you, and you are going to live with him?"

"Why let him have what he wants? He needs to suffer and die alone, a shell of the man he could have been if he would have treated you better!"

That last one was Penny. She was floored that Amy would even consider living with that wacko. Penny thought his time away would have been good for Sheldon. He would get his head on straight, gain some independence, maybe grow up a little and not be such a freak. No such luck. With this stunt, he proved he learned nothing, and he was going backwards. Why was Amy so calm?

Amy was a calm undisturbed pond, clear and unwavering. They hadn't seen her yesterday, though. Today she was a pillar of composure. Hands in her lap, she took in all the yelling, all the pleading. She was resolved that this was the best solution. Finally, when the announcement shock wore off, they were able to listen to the reasons.

After a 20 minute lecture that included about 8 minutes of economic theory (that even Leonard didn't understand) coupled with basic biochemistry and ecology analogies, Amy finished.

Leonard and Penny sat back, marveled at Amy. She was not only a saint, she was conniving saint. Amy would move into 4A, help Sheldon return to normal life. She would give him the stability he needed and live her life as she would at her apartment. Sheldon was an emotional stunted idiot, he needed to be shown that he loved Amy, even if he didn't know it. It would show. If not, she could always move back to her apartment if it got too hard for her. The only scenario she could not handle would be if Sheldon had broke up with her to be someone else. Then it would be the ultimate rejection; she would not put up with that. But this was different. Sheldon was scared and ill-equipped to handle change, even with his long absence. He needs equilibrium, and Amy could help him.

Leonard had to move out, but only out of his bedroom. Amy would bring only the basics for a week, till she was able to assess her own reactions. If it was too hard to be with Sheldon, and not be his girlfriend, she would end the experiment. If not, Leonard would need to move the rest of his things out in a month. No rush.

Amy would move in before Sheldon came home. She would need the use of Leonard's furniture for the time being.

Everything seemed so simple, so calm.

Except it was bat shit crazy!

"Amy, you love Sheldon, you're attracted to him, physically. How can you live with him and not show your feelings."

"I've spent 3 years with him and only recently been kissed. I am used to being with him and not getting any physical response. It will be like another day at the office."

"Amy, I have to tell you, living with him, it's not easy. I know. 8 Years… 8 LONG years… I have emotional scars."

"He really does, it's like he's back from war. Every time I touch the thermostat, he twitches. It's PSP for sure."

"That's PTSD, not PSP… and I know Sheldon's ways. I've been with him for while. And I hate to say it; we are very similar in our habits."

"Oh honey! I can't imagine living with my ex on purpose after he broke up with me. This is going to be hard, too hard."

"I know. I am enraged that Sheldon broke up with me over something that we could have worked out. I have to show him the error of his ways. He won't come easily, he has to led to the conclusion but discover it on his own. You see there is an economic concept called scarcity of demand…" Amy was about to start another lecture on economics, Penny cut her off.

"Yes yes yes, economics. Sheldon wants what he cant have. But he doesn't want someone sniffing around the good either! Sheldon is a jealous, you should invite over a ton of guys and have them paw on you in front of him! That will fix his little red wagon!" Penny wanted Sheldon to squirm!

" I am not going to manipulate him. He thinks he is better off without me. I want him to see that is not true. If he can see how we could be together, but yet take the one aspect of our relationship away, he might see it. I cant do this if I don't see him. If I just sign the termination and leave him be, he would hide away in his apartment and ignore reality, convincing himself that he doesn't want me. But the alternative is something I just am not ready to deal with yet. I am not ready to give up on him yet. Not yet. Maybe after living with him for a week, I will kill him and all my problems will be over…" Amy's eyes drifted off, hiding the obvious pain.

"We will be right across the hall. You need ANYTHING, a shoulder to cry on, wine, an ax and shovel, more wine, ANYTHING, you tell us. Okay?"

"Thanks guys, you're the best. It will be fun to be so close. We can have 80's Hair band Karaoke night!"

Penny and Leonard looked at each other with horror. What have they wrought?

"Okay, have you told Sheldon?"

"I emailed him back, told him I was amenable to being a Roommate , but I wanted the same agreement as Leonard with minor changes. I don't want restrictions on visitors."

"What restrictions?"

"_My_ Roommate agreement seemed to include various amendments and restrictions on visitors, calls from companions and house guests of the opposite sex."

"OH really, did it now? That bastard! "

They said it all together, "He wants his cake and eat it too."

Amy sighed, "Yes I know. But I informed him under no circumstance would I agree to such restrictions. Additionally, any required notification of physical proximity of male companions is strictly outside the acceptable parameters of a Roommate relationship. "

Penny looked to Leonard to translate, "He can't tell her not to be with guys."

"I know that! I think… Well good, what did he say? I bet he's writhing like a worm on a hook!"

"I haven't heard from him yet. I sent it this morning."

"He's probably plotting his next move. It's like chess with that guy."

Amy smirked, "I'm very good at chess."

"Well, I will get my stuff out anyway. Truth is; there isn't much over there. I've been moving my clothes over slowly. We've been using 4A just as a party pad."

"Sheldon won't like that." Amy worried.

Defiant now, Penny asked, "It's your apartment too, Ya know! What do you want?"

"Hmmmm… I love parties!"

"Roommate agreement: No "hootennanies", sing-alongs, raucous laughter, clinking of glasses, celebratory gunfire, or barbershop quartets after 10.p.m." Leonard was pleased with himself on how well he remembered it.

"So, you can have a party, it just has to end at 10 pm?" Penny was thinking like a lawyer.

"Oh, and 12 hour notice on house guests."

"Damn girl, you are going to have fun with this." Penny said, holding a wine glass to Amy.

Amy clinked the glass and with a wink said, "It might get CRAY-ZZYY"


	4. Chapter 4

_**The substance (or substances) initially involved in a chemical reaction are called reactants or reagents**_

**Reactant Sheldon**

Sheldon stared at his glowing screen, fuming with derision. How dare she question his Roommate agreement, it was carefully crafted piece of art?

Yes, she would agree to move in. Great!

Yes, she would drive him around, when _convenient_ for her. Not so Wonderful!

Yes, she would agree to same conditions that Sheldon had been accustomed to: Take out nights, temperature settings, etc. Fabulous!

But no, she would not agree to the conditions on visitors of the opposite sex. Not great.

She wanted the a similar agreement as Leonard? Why would she? Sheldon was trying to save her reputation, after all. Living with a man could be a stain on that perfect reputation, if wasn't for the fact that Sheldon Cooper was a man of honor, from Texas where that meant something. Who knew what kind of hounds would come sniffing around the roost?

_**He weighed his options**_:

He could **_not_ **have her live with him… He was back to phase one. Undesirable!

Could he force her to sign the original agreement? She was as stubborn as he was, losing battle. Unattainable!

He could become her boyfriend again. Science would suffer, back to phase one. Unacceptable!

Could he sign the agreement, and make it so she wouldn't be able to invite guests… Hmmm…

Where all the unknowns of a function have independently variables, auxiliary constraints can leave initial equilibrium unchanged. Sheldon would make sure there are no auxiliary constraints (hounds sniffing around) one Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.

A well crafted email and rewrite of the Room Mate agreement were sent to Dr. Fowler. After an aggravating time period, he finally got her response. Her response was not as swift as Sheldon had hoped and included amendments she had drafted. Her knowledge of contract law rivaled only that of Priya!

She would move in, on a trial basis, one week.

The Roommate agreement would be signed on the day he returned.

She will be moving into Leonard room this week.

Also, she will not pick him up from the train station. She was not required to by the as of yet unsigned Roommate agreement. An oversight on his part.

Sheldon breathed a sigh of relief and little twinge of regret. He wished she would have picked him up from the train station. There was always Leonard. Until the new agreement was signed, the previous Agreement was still in effect.

Leonard picked up on the 3rd ring. "Hey, ex roomie, how's it hanging?"

"Nothing is hanging, and you are still my roommate until we sign the termination notice."

"Nice to hear from you, too! Amy's going to be moving soon, are you coming back?"

"That is the reason for my call. I am returning to Pasadena after my long sojourn, and I require a ride from the train station at 5:30 pm. "

" Are you crazy, 5:30 to Union Station on a Friday? Do you have any idea what kind of traffic nightmarish hell you are asking me go through? It's like Carmaggedon out there."

"Regardless of your dramatic whining, you are still required to pick me up."

"God, hurry up and come back so I can sign that damn termination notice already. Poor Amy, I hope she ready for the oncoming storm. See you tomorrow."

"Thank you Leonard."

"Sure buddy, I missed you too. See you then."

AHHH, home… Sheldon couldn't wait to be back. His train just left Albuquerque and he would soon be home. He dreamed of his home coming. Amy would be there. She knew he hated parties, but maybe she would invite the group over for the homecoming. It would not be completely unpleasant to see everyone.

Amy should be happy to see him. He was so glad she was not displaying stereotypical estrogen based response to their relationship termination. She didn't seem bothered by it all. Not one word about it, as a matter of fact. Maybe he's long absence cured her of love sickness. Maybe , she was over him because she was with someone else? No, no way, Amy wouldn't do that, they have an iron clad relationship agr….. Oh wait… They don't anymore….

He terminated the relationship agreement before starting the roommate agreement. Another oversight! But wait! It is not valid until both parties sign in person! _Whose clever in contract law huh, Dr Fowler!_

Sheldon sat back in his chair, watching the lights streak by his window. He needed to take his mind off of things; he was clouded again, unable to focus. He made his way to dining car to grab a snack. It was late, and Amtrak did not stock the best selection. It was a choice between Brownies or an apple pie that looked like it was briefly introduced to a hammer.

Back in his seat, brownie in hand, Sheldon tried to focus his mind. He was going to back to Cal Tech, back to string theory. He had some ideas that would incorporate the basics of string theory with the study of Dark Energy. If he could show independent work, he could possible get another grant and then change his field. He would have to talk to the Cal Tech board, in person. Ugh, it would be the martyr of science for the pagan bureaucrats. Better than teaching evolution to creationists but still a martyrdom like Valentinus, who was executed by the Romans for marrying Christians. Fun Fact, that's where Valentines' Day originates.

Valentine's day, trains and brownies.

It came flooding back into Sheldon's mind. He was furious with her, trying to trick him. He had kissed her, a spiteful kiss, which turned sweet. Her mouth tasted like brownies. He held her hips and kissed her. Every time after that, when he kissed her, he did the same, holding her close. Each time since that Valentine's Day, it was easier and easier. It became second nature to kiss her. He looked forward to date night's ending rituals. Sometimes, when he was distracted by something important, she would have to remind him. He was so glad she reminded him. Not that he would tell her, of course.

She always pushed him, but sometimes… (Only sometimes) Sheldon thought, he needed it. The kiss was his doing, but she put him in the situation that it would occur. She gave him little pushes to help him along. Something they were too much, like demanding they live together as Boyfriend/girlfriend, but he fixed that! HA!

The Brownie was gone now, but the recollection it sparked held Sheldon's thoughts until Gallup, New Mexico. Only the call from conductor shook him from the memory. He had 13 hours to go till he got back to Union Station.

He would try and get some sleep, but it was hard. Sleeping on the train is difficult under normal conditions. These weren't normal conditions. Sheldon felt restless, like he was missing something, or he lost something. He kept checking his bag, his pockets. Everything was there, but there was something missing, he knew it. The feeling kept him up all night. Finally when he arrived at Union Station he relaxed. Back home at last.

Leonard was late with some flimsy excuse that the 110 freeway was a parking lot and he had to take Figueroa blvd. or some such nonsense. Penny didn't come, she had an audition; last gasping breath of her dying career. Leonard said the apartment was all ready, no need to worry, but Sheldon did. He worried how he would react to seeing Amy, not Leonard in his home. It was a change he initiated, but a change none the less. He knew he had face to the change head on; he just still had such a feeling of trepidation.

"Did Amy say anything about our Relationship Agreement?" Sheldon was sure Amy had mentioned something to Penny or Leonard. He needed intel.

"No, she mostly wanted to know about the Roommate agreement, frankly." Leonard thought, _Lose lips sink ships. He said nothing, he knew nothing!_

"Why on Earth did you show her that document, it was private contract between us, and not for every pretty faced green eyed Vixen who asks to see it."

"First of all, there is nothing in the agreement that says it private. Secondly, what do you care if Amy sees it, her contract should be same, shouldn't it?" Leonard was biting his tongue, holding back his sneers.

"Leonard, you might not have noticed, Amy is female. Her Roommate agreement will be different by that definition alone."

"I don't see how her being a girl has anything to do with it. Other than bathroom stuff…"

"Leonard, please, I've spent 18 hours on a train, and the last thing I need to be thinking about is Amy's bathroom routine or showering routines."

"Listen up buddy; I've been living with a girl for 4 months now. I'm here to tell you, you are going to have to get used to her bathroom routine. It can be quite a ritual."

"I seriously doubt Amy Farrah Fowler has any need of the countless hours it takes to doll up one Nebraska waitress. "

"Dude, watch it. I am not talking about Dolling up; I'm talking other stuff… Never mind… You'll see soon enough." Leonard loved this a little too much.

The rest of the ride was spent by Leonard navigating rush hour traffic, and by Sheldon navigating his mind away from thinking of Amy in the shower. Neither party was doing very well.

Finally, they arrived at Los Robles. Sheldon was so relived he practically jumped out of the car before Leonard had a chance to park.

Sheldon relished every familiar step up to the 4th floor, like welcoming old friends.

As he opened the door to his apartment, he saw her there sitting in Leonard's chair reading a magazine. Amy looked up, and without smiling said,

"Sup?"


	5. Chapter 5

_**The substance (or substances) initially involved in a chemical reaction are called reactants or reagents**_

_**Reagent Amy**_

There he was, after 4 months. He looked tired, but happy. He had a smile on his face, which she didn't return.

"Sup?" Was all she got out. Leonard told her about the bare bones Roommate agreement clause. She was certain, that since they hadn't signed the official document, that the greeting was appropriate. Sheldon looked around as if he was expecting someone, or something; he did his best to mask disappointment.

"Amy, you're here, good. I'll be with you in a moment. " Sheldon didn't want to look at her, didn't want to deal with her feelings yet. He needed to get his bearings, get balance back. Also, previewing what estrogen based tyranny was in store for him might soften the impending blow. He set his bag on his chair and went straight to the bathroom. He was expecting the worst: Bath soaps, spongy things that look like Muppets, all matters of face paint, hair sprays, and worst Feminine hygiene products.

He saw… None of it. Just a toothbrush and a small new basket filled with some woman supplies, he didn't look too close. There was no his/hers towels, no confusing smells, just clean and tidy. The shower had some new dandruff shampoo, and there was one bar of soap. Not bad for a girl, he thought. Less than Leonard, actually!

Leonard's room was open so he took a quick peek. From what Sheldon could make out, Amy had used Leonard's furniture, just with new sheets. It smelled like her, clean and fresh. Her harp was in the corner. He forgot about that particular aspect of her living there. No matter, the agreement clearly states when she is allowed to play. He made his way to his room, which was completely unchanged, untouched as if he never left.

Sheldon made his way back to the living room. "I guess we have business to conduct," and moved to his spot on the couch. Amy didn't move her legs to allow him to get by, so he took the long way around the coffee table.

He was tired from sitting for so long, but he wanted to be his spot again, to feel normal again. It did feel normal, to an extent. He was home, in his spot, Amy beside him. However, everything felt different. He must have just been gone too long. It would all get back to normal soon enough.

Amy kept reading her Neuron journal. He noticed her name was on the cover again for the Micro RNA. She wasn't reading her article, but another, less brilliant article submitted. She was focused on not looking at Sheldon till he spoke.

"Amy, I am sure you are eager to get the agreement signed?"

"Do you have your notary stamp?"

"I always have my notary stamp."

"Well, let's get this over with, I need to go to bed early tonight."

"Early, but I just got here?"

"Well,_ you_ don't have to go bed. Just me! I have been up since 5:30 moving and going to work and…" She was going to continue about her day, but stopped herself.

"And…"

"Never mind, do you have the stamp, I have the agreement right here." Amy had the agreement ready on the table along with the termination notification. Sheldon got up, moved around the table again, avoiding Amy's legs, and retrieved the stamp. "Would you like some tea?"

"No thank you, I have some already."

Sheldon put the kettle on, readying a tea bag. He noticed she had his blue cup; he had always given her the yellow one before. He pulled the yellow one down, pouring the hot water over the bag. Cup and stamp in hand, he headed back to his spot.

Sheldon stacked the Roommate agreement on top of the termination agreement.

"You know, if you're tired, Amy, we can sign this later."

"Better to get it over with, don't you think."

"Correct, as always."

Sheldon showed her were to sign and he notarized it. He took the stack of papers and moved them to the side.

"Do you need to notarize the termination notice as well?"

"Not required."

"Yes, well, that's it then. Good night Sheldon."

"Wait, Amy, the notice, I am sorry about…"

"No need to apologize, you can't have one without the other." She grabbed her blue cup, rinsed it and then walked silently down the hall and disappeared around the corner.

Sheldon thumbed through the papers. Amy signed all the spots she should have including the zombie protocols and Sky net clause without a fight, much to Sheldon's surprise. She also signed Termination notice of the relationship agreement. Next to the signature line, there was a second line, for Sheldon's signature acknowledging the termination.

.-.-.-.-.-.-..-.-.-.-..-.-.-..-..-.-.-.-

Dr Sheldon Lee Cooper

He sat and stared at the line, flipping his pen in his hand, tapping it on his forehead. He whisked together the stack of papers, and filed them in his desk drawer. One line still unsigned.

Amy made her way to the bedroom. It was harder than she thought to see him again. She had to get out of there out of his presence. She was tired, but not so tired that she needed to sleep. She had her laptop in her room and some books. She could get some work done; maybe take her mind off things. She fired up the laptop and put in the WIFI password she got from Leonard. "_Penny stole my Wifi and my Roommate_", no spaces. Another thing that has to change, Amy bemoaned.

Sheldon finished his tea and decided he was tired as well. After cleaning up, he headed back to the bedrooms. Leonard's, he meant…. Amy's light was on, she wasn't asleep. While he lay awake, staring at the ceiling, He heard her door open at 8:30 PM, and the sounds of teeth brushing, and then she returned to her room. He could hear her typing till 9:59 PM. Then nothing. She must have remembered the section of the agreement on noise after 10 PM.

_This was good_, he thought. She was here and their reunion wasn't some girly cry fest he'd expected. But he did expect _some_ kind of emotion, something. Maybe Amy had realized the benefit to suppressing emotions. Sheldon thought he had mastered it. He was not upset, not in the least. Not upset she didn't say hello or get up and hug him. He was glad she wasn't pushing him into a physical relationship, with her hugging. Well, _hugging wasn't that bad_… He thought. He got a hug from Penny when he left, that wasn't too bad, and Amy gave a consoling hug before. Sheldon even hugged Leonard when he came back from Professors Proton's funeral. Hugs are the appropriate social convention when someone leaves, he rationalized. He never said goodbye to Amy when he left. Never gave her a hug and explained his actions; he knows he should have. Unknowingly, he wrapped his arms around himself, and turned on his side.

Sheldon didn't fall asleep till 11:22.


	6. Chapter 6

**Effect of change in concentration**

It was Saturday morning. Sheldon woke up later than usual: 6:42 am. Not surprising given his long train ride and his late night. He was expecting the difficulty sleeping, but not to this extent. He should be _MORE calm_, not less being back in his place. Amy had, so far anyway, been the perfect roommate. Sheldon should be able to focus, relax, and unwind. But he was wound up like a yoyo, unsettled.

He brushed it off dismissively saying to himself, it was just a transition, he was missing Leonard. He had also missed the start of Doctor Who. He went to the kitchen and got a bowl of cereal and the perfect ration of milk, sat back on his spot, lamenting missing the episode.

Amy walked in, and started to fix coffee. She was still tired, but she was rested.

"Good morning, Amy." She was wearing a flannel night gown and her hair was not combed, but she still looked rested and graceful… Sheldon shook his head and focused on his cereal.

"Morning. If there are no objections, I am going to take a shower. I know the schedule for bathroom time is posted, and this is my allotted time. "

"Please, by all means, thank you for asking." Leonard was never this thoughtful.

Sheldon was nervous for some reason and upset he missed his show. He really wanted to get back to his old routine. Tonight was laundry, and he always watched Doctor Who in the morning. Brooding, he looked to the TV and noticed the red light, indicating a show was being recorded. He turned on the menu for the DVR and there was Doctor Who. He smiled as he glanced down the hall, and restarted the show.

Just as River song dressed in white was praising the 10th doctor at the end of the show, Amy returned to the living room. She smelled heavenly, her nearly dry hair combed and shiny. Her laptop now placed on Leonard's desk and her back was turned to Sheldon.

"Well Amy I must say, it was very thoughtful of you to record Doctor Who. Additionally, the bathroom looked, dare I say, better than after Leonard…"

_Nothing_.

"And I must add, you have made this transaction not completely unpleasant."

_Nothing_.

"Amy, I know are you upset about ending the relationship, but you will see, this will be the best for both of us. I am thinking of your needs as well as mine. I must admit, I was apprehensive about living together, given our… History… But you seemed to be handling this transition very well."

_Nothing_.

Sheldon was getting aggravated.

"You can at least say something about it. Ignoring the problem is not going to make it any easier. This arrangement will be very difficult if you are harboring feelings, ill willed or otherwise…"

_Nothing_

Sheldon was exasperated. She could at least say something… Didn't their relationship mean anything to her? He walked over to her.

"Amy, say something…. Amy, Say something…. AMY, SAY SOMETHING!"

That's when she turned around and he saw them, white cords hanging from her ears.

"I'm sorry Sheldon, what? I was watching a video."

Sheldon's look of shock spurred Amy. "Sheldon, did you say something to me?"

"No, its okay. I was just.. umm going to thank you for recording Doctor Who." Sheldon didn't know what to say. Thank goodness she didn't hear his outburst, why was he so upset?

"No problem Sheldon, I programmed in all your shows as well as a few of my own. I also did the grocery shopping and picked up the mail. Your correspondence are on your desk. I wasn't sure where you wanted them."

"Oh, thank you Amy, after 4 months, I am sure you would need a box for the letters. Penny was supposed to pick them up for me."

"She did, there is a box under your desk."

Sheldon saw a box, filled with junk mail. Worst part about going away: dealing with the aftermath of his actions and his routine left in the hands of amateurs.

While, Sheldon sorted his mail, Amy continued to watch her video. Sheldon kept trying to see what she was watching. Something about monkey's, or was it comics, Sheldon couldn't hear.

Amy got up from her viewing and made her way to the kitchen. Poured another cup of coffee and turned off the pot, rinsed the urn and threw out the grounds. Just like Sheldon always wished Leonard would do.

"So, Amy, what are you doing?"

"Watching videos, as I stated not less than 5 minutes ago. My status has not changed." She was cold, distant. Since it was late August, Sheldon should have been thankful for the cold breeze coming off her words, but the burned him instead.

" I was wondering if you wanted to go the zoo today?"

"Oh god no, Sheldon.. On a Saturday? It's 105 degrees out and it back to school opening day. The zoo will be crawling with tour groups." She tried to put her earphones back in, but was interrupted.

"Well, that would be unpleasant, but I have not been to the Zoo since the last time we went…"

"Nothing changed. It still has animals in cages vying for food and attention." She tried again to watch her show, but to no avail…

"Amy, I thought, given your biology background and propensity for working with primates, you enjoyed the zoo. "

"Just another day at the office." Again she tried to get back to her video.

"Amy, we would go almost every week, are you saying you didn't enjoy the zoo during our visits?" His voice was raised slightly, Amy noticed.

"It was _fine_, Sheldon. I just don't want to go now."

"FINE? Fine is not a good answer. You and I would go almost every week, it was part of our…" His voice trailed off. He didn't realize how much time he spent with Amy. Along with Date nights, which was a tedious exercise in attempted romanticism, they would go shopping together, go the zoo, do girlfriend/boyfriend sing along nights. They were practically inseparable. Now, she was less than 3 feet away, and he felt alone.

Amy sighed, "Well, the paradigm has changed; now if you will excuse me, I want to get back to this."

Sheldon watched her out of the corner of his eye, hoping she would look back at him. Not a glimpse.

Well, at least he could get some work done, since he would have so much free time now. Maybe this was good thing after all, he need to concentrate. He pulled out his white board and started working. Physics was his companion. All he needed was quiet and focus. 20 minutes later, he was still staring that the same equations. The numbers and Greek letters were taunting him, pay attention to me, look at me! Sheldon couldn't. He was pacing back and forth trying desperately not to look at Amy's screen and the notes she was scribbling in her notebook.

Amy would have none of it. She was engrossed in her video, unaware of her Roommates discomfort. Finally, after she closed YouTube, you rose to fix lunch.

Sheldon had spent the last 3 hours doing what he said he wanted: Concentration solely on physics, no distractions. Amy gave that to him, so he couldn't complain. She never asked annoying questions, or interrupted him with disturbing sounds or a running commentary of her actions. She was pillar of composure, the perfect roommate. After 3 hours of work, the marvelous mind of Sheldon Cooper should have had a break through, an advance in his theory but nothing. Nothing new, nothing discovered, nothing changed. He was frustrated to say the least, and welcomed the distraction of the knocking at the door.

Leonard and Penny had come for lunch. Finally some sense of normalcy. Amy prepared sandwiches for the group. They were perfect; Leonard had always put too much mustard. Not Amy, each component of the sandwich was in perfect balance. It was the best sandwich Sheldon ever had, and he was having trouble choking it down.

Amy and Penny were in the kitchen, talking lower so they wouldn't be overheard.

_"Sooo, Ames, how's the new house? Is it bliss or are you ready to kill Sheldon yet?"_

_"Uneventful, I hardly notice him. So far, so good. I think my presence is bothering him, though."_

_"Like hot and bothered?" Penny winked._

_"No no, not at all. Like, "Who is this person in my house, and how do I deal with her" bothered. I tried to make it easy for him, so not to upset him."_

_"Who knows what will set that wackadoodle off anyway. You just do your thing. Is it hard to be close to him? Did you talk about the, the you know… Break up?"_

Sheldon was distracted, he was trying desperately to hear the hen's clucking in the kitchen, but no luck. The noise of water running kept him from getting much of their conversation, _**just bothered, wackadoodle, and break up**_. He knew they were talking about him…

"Sheldon how's your first night back." Leonard noticed Sheldon's being a busy body and wanted to get him distracted.

"Yeah, good Leonard, you too."

"SHELDON, are you listening?"

"Sorry Leonard, yes it was fine." Sheldon finally gave up when Amy and Penny sat down. "Truth be told Leonard, Amy is a _marvelous_ roommate. She is quiet and orderly, considerate and clean. She should be the one to give lessons when you get a strike again."

"I don't have to worry about strikes anymore." Leonard smiled smugly. "Well, I'm glad. I bet your life will be much easier now. You can get back to the status quo."

Sheldon looked out, lost in thought. _Status Quo_. The month before he left in May, he had a roommate named Leonard, a comic book store as a refuge, a promising career in string theory, a childhood hero as a friend and a girlfriend he was able to touch and even kiss. A month later, it all changed. 4 months later and train trip under his belt, he wanted it some of it back. It was a long road back to status quo.


	7. Chapter 7

**Effect of change in Volume**

_Sheldon was yelling:_

"I am back only _**one**_ day, and you want to throw a party? Good, God woman, did you not even read the Roommate Agreement? No Parties after…"

_Amy yelled back, _

"It's a small social GATHERING…. NOT party, will be ending at 9:45pm. And of course I read the Roommate agreement, how else do you think I knew to give you notice?"

"Well, not enough notice. I only received this notice now! That is not within the required time frame." Sheldon was sure he had her now. After Penny and Leonard went back to 4B, Sheldon got online. He imagined he have quite a few emails since he hadn't checked in over 24 hours. Sure enough, 30 email, one from Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.

She was informing him of a small social gathering at the apartment tonight at 6:00 to conclude 9:45. Dinner will be served at 6:30.

"It says 12 hour notice is required, not that you have to _acknowledge_ it. Additionally, you will be doing laundry, if I am not mistaken, so the inconvenience to you is minimal." Amy turned back in her chair, knowing she had the upper hand.

Slack jawed, he shut up. Sheldon was outmaneuvered by his own agreement. Another oversight!

He wanted to see everyone, but not on laundry night and not without being the one who controlled the timing. Also, who was coming? Small gathering could be anyone?

"Who will be attending?" crossing his arms in defeat.

"No one you don't know." Amy turned back to the journal she was reading. She had done nothing wrong, she thought. She did the required notice. He was impossible.

Sheldon got on Facebook, stalking everyone he could think of to see if there was any indication of who would be attending. Nothing from Leonard or Penny. Raj had something about making brie crusted bacon wraps, perhaps he was coming? Bernadette and Wolowitz pages were filled with cat photos and Farmville requests. Nothing. Even Stuart's page was quiet just something about not being so depressed, and maybe life was worth living and monkeys. Who could did she invite?

He stormed off to his room to presort. With each article of clothes he threw in the basket, he grew more upset. _A party?! Oh wait, "A small social gathering!_ " he thought mockingly... Of all the gall. Who was coming? Amy's notice just said "a _**small**_ gathering." Could be anyone? Maybe one of her work friends, maybe another scientist, or someone from a different department? Like Geology! Sheldon heard from Raj and Wolowitz about that oaf Bert, sniffing around Amy. Damn Rock monkey going to invade his home, hit on his ex before the ink was dry? What's a next, Chippendale dancer with a portable stripper pole? This is an outrage! He had to get the bottom of it.

Sheldon stormed out of the room, back to finish his argument with Amy, but she was gone. Her purse and keys were missing.

He texted her:

_S-"Where are you?"_

_A-"Out"_

_S-"Out Where?"_

_A-"Outside!"_

That impossible woman! He knew it was too good to be true, having her live with him. Maybe Leonard knew something. Sheldon had to know.

_Knock Knock Knock _

_Leonard. _

_Knock Knock Knock _

_Leonard. _

_Knock Knock Knock _

_Leonard. _

Leonard came to the door.

"Leonard, your replacement seems to be having some sort of shin dig tonight in the apartment. Do you know anything about it?"

"Yeah, the gang is coming over to discuss Stuart new comic book. "

"What new comic book."

"Stuart is writing and drawing comic again. He's pretty good. He has some kind of plot line with a monkey and mutants and he wanted Amy to consult on it, give it some authenticity. It's pretty cool."

"AUTHENTICITY? Monkeys and mutants? Dear lord, it sounds like King Kong with funny juice."

"Well, you can see tonight." Leonard tried in vain to close the door.

"Well, wait, whose coming?" That is what Sheldon really cared about, now to get some answers.

"Just the usual, me, Penny, Raj, Emily, Howard, Bernie, Stuart of course. Maybe Captain sweat pants and possibly Wil Wheaton."

"No one from Geology?"

"No, why would anyone from Geology come?" Leonard was so lost.

"Never mind. Wil Wheaton huh and Stuart, **of course**! And I am sure he has heard about Amy and I no longer being a couple?"

"Everyone has heard about that Sheldon… EVERYONE."

"Well, the cats out of the bag. She didn't wait till the ink was dry on the page before tramping around like some floozy."

That's when Penny threw the door open.

"Listen up pal, Amy is no floozy or a tramp! She had this set up long before you broke up with her. She thought you would like it since it had to do with comics, Oh and yeah, YOU broke up with her. For stupid reasons, by the way! You gave up the right to care. But don't you ever call her a tramp!

"Yeah, not cool dude…." Leonard was really disappointed in Sheldon.

Sheldon lowered his head, thankful his mother didn't hear his outburst. "You're right, forgive me. That was inappropriate. I apologize."

"Damn right you do. Besides what do you care? You dumped her like a bad habit. You're lucky she talks to you, let alone puts up with being your roommate. She is HELPING you. You ungrateful bastard…. " "Leonard, you deal with him, I can't look at him right now…" Penny grumbled to herself phrases that would make a sailor blush while going back inside.

"Look Sheldon, there's no need to worry. It just your friends, that's it. Everyone wants to see you anyway. Amy's been okay, hasn't she?"

Sheldon leaned back on the door frame. Yes, Amy has been great. He had no issues at all. She was giving him space; she was immaculate roommate, considerate and thoughtful. Just as good as she was when she was his girlfriend. He really had nothing to complain about. So, why was he so upset? "I don't know Leonard, she's been fine. It's just different."

Let's go back to 4A, play some _Dead Man Walking_, get you a drink, you'll feel better. The party is not till 6:00."

"It's not a party, it's _a small social gathering_…" He scuffed back to his apartment.

Amy had to pick up something for the party: Wine for Penny, napkins and some other items she forgot for dinner. Dinner was going to be Spaghetti. She was going to make a separate pot for Sheldon with hot dogs, everyone else was getting meat balls. She went by the dry goods, and picked up some Strawberry Quick for Sheldon without a second thought. Even when she was mad at him, she couldn't help thinking of his needs.

Living with him was always a dream of hers. Amy knew they'd be perfect together. They'd talk, laugh, play games and help each other. She was desperately in love with him, but he was too emotionally stunted to notice or care. This new situation was like Disneyland on a rainy day, sure it's great, but what a disappointment.

Amy had to conduct this experiment; she needed data to make a rational decision. This was going to be a testing week for her. She had to find out two things: One, could Sheldon see he was in love with her and if not, she could be friends with Sheldon without being his girlfriend.

So far, it was okay, but she hardly looked at him. She needed to avoid his blue eyes. They could melt her like butter on hot toast. She had to avoid conversations with him; he was so sexy when he argued she couldn't resist. But mostly, she had to not touch him. One slight touch would send shock waves through her core. If she could do that, she might be able to get over her addiction. She likened it to a recovering alcoholic in a bar: if they could avoid that temptation, they could stay sober. Amy needed to sober up.

When Amy returned to the apartment, she almost knocked when she realized she had a key. It was all so new to her. Her entrance was greeted by a smiling Leonard and scowling Sheldon.

"Hello, everyone."

As she brought in the bags, Leonard shot up.

"Do you need help?"

"No, just sit, I got this. I need to start cooking for tonight."

Leonard got up to help anyway.

_Tell a man to not do something, that's the first thing they wanna do._

Amy busied herself with the domestic requirements for having over guests. She started dinner, set up a buffet line with plate, napkins and the like. Sheldon watched her every move, trying desperately not to smell her wonderful cooking.

Finally, he couldn't stand it anymore. "What are you cooking over there?"

"Spaghetti. I'm making you a separate pot with hot dogs. Don't worry." Old habits die hard.

"You know, Amy, you don't have to do that, it's not in the agreement" Leonard chided.

Loving that he could give Sheldon grief.

"Leave the woman be, Leonard. She's perfect, don't upset the apple cart." Sheldon was elated Amy thought enough of him to make his favorite dinner. _She really was the best girl… best roommate_, he caught himself before he thought it…

Soon, the visitors showed up. First Raj and Emily, bacon wrapped brie bits in tow. Next were Howard and Bernadette, followed quickly by Stuart who hitched a ride. Sheldon didn't get up, didn't greet anyone. He just sat in his spot, playing his game. This was a rather large volume of people for a small social gathering, he thought. Finally, after the usual small talk and everyone had a plate, everyone gathered around the coffee table. Amy didn't sit next to Sheldon; she sat in the office chair.

"So Sheldon," Howard had been biting his tongue all night, waiting to bait Sheldon, "How is living with your ex?"

"Everything is fine, Amy and I are above such petty emotional entanglements. "

"Oh really, is that true Amy?" Bernie knew it wasn't but she hated lying, especially such an egregious one.

Amy was saved by a knock at the door. It was Wil Wheaton. He gave her a side hug and kiss on the cheek as he handed her a bottle of wine, all of which enraged Sheldon. Howard noticed the reaction first.

"Above such petty emotional entanglement, huh? Keep telling yourself that buddy, whatever gets you through the night." Howard was loving this.

Sheldon was not amused. Wil Wheaton was awfully handsie for someone who showed such disdain over Amy in the past.

"Well, Weill, Well, Wil Wheaton, what make a minor celebrity want to grace us with his presence on a Saturday night."

"Hey Sheldon you're back! Nice to see you too. I m' here for Stuart. He mentioned Amy was going to help with his comic book. " Wil noticed Sheldon looked ticked, and he thought he figured out what was going on. "Sorry I kissed your girlfriend, I know how you are about her." He winked at a blushing Amy; who looked down.

"We are no longer a couple." Amy said while handing him a plate.

"Oh, god, I'm sorry I didn't know."

"It's a fairly recent development. "

"Well, you guys seem to be handling it well. Most couples couldn't be in the same room together, even for a party."

It was Sheldon's turn to pipe in, "It's not a party, it's a small social gathering. And we are living together so we are handling it just fine, thank you."

Wil Wheaton looked over to Amy who gave him a nod. "Good God, woman you're a saint."

"Or a masochist, we haven't found out yet. Sheldon still is breathing, but the night is young." said Howard; who loved watching Sheldon squirm. Which he did on queue.

Amy brought decorum. "Let's get started, shall we. Oh Sheldon, do you need to do your laundry?"

Sheldon shot up in his seat, "Yes. Well. I do. Thank you for the reminder. I will start at 8:15, like I always do." He didn't want to leave, he wanted to stay and see what was happening. He had to keep an eye on Wheaton, not to mention Stuart for that matter.

Stuart started, "Well, as you all know my comic book store is gone. I got the insurance money, which wasn't much, but enough to start something new, just not a store. Mrs. Wolowitz encouraged me to use my art background again, and so here we are. I have been working on backgrounds, settings and character poses. But I am an artist, not a writer. I need some help with the back story for my character."

Emily asked, "What's the premise?"

Stuart looked excited, "I got it from Amy actually, with some additions Penny and Wil Wheaton terrible movie. A monkey during an addiction study escapes the lab, makes his way to the genetics lab."

Sheldon piped in, "How did the monkey get out."

"He just did, Sheldon, that's not important. Anyway…"

"Well of course it is important. Any good back-story needs a compelling and believable plot. If you're just going to start throwing monkeys around willing nilly, this is going to a poor excuse for a comic book."

Amy rolled her eyes, "Sheldon, we can work out details later, the point is that monkey goes to the genetics lab. "

"Details make the story, Amy. With the little things, you don't have a believable story. The plot is held up by details." Sheldon chided

"You need the foundation of the story, and then details will come. As long as you have the basics, all the little things will fall into place. "

Sheldon didn't back down, "The details determine the story. Little things can change a plot, alter character development."

"Only if you let it, details don't have to change the story or the character. The theme of heroism doesn't change because you used a sword instead of an ax. The theme of love doesn't change because you changed location."

Stuart piped in, "Can we talk about the monkey again?"

"In a minute Stuart, don't be rude. " Sheldon focused back on Amy, "So you're saying a love story won't change if the location is different, that's balderdash."

"The theme of story will be same, the motivations and feelings of the characters will not change. The details add to or distract the reader, not change the main character. Setting is important, but only if the character is weak."

Sheldon sat up more, "A character does necessarily have to be weak, as you say, to be affected by details. Location is everything, it sets the tone."

"No the tone is set by the character's actions."

"The location can change how the character reacts." Sheldon snapped

"If the character is in love, it shouldn't matter where they are." Amy sat back, ending the argument, looked down at her food.

Bernie interrupted, "Are we still talking about the monkey?"

Raj answered, "Oh, I think the monkey left a long time ago."

Sheldon shot up, "Well, I think it time I started my laundry, good luck with your monkey business. " He took his plate to the sink, and headed to the bedroom to get his basket.

"Well, let's get back to the comic, shall we. " Amy was not going to let Sheldon ruin the night.

Everyone was starting to give ideas to Stuart. Leonard was getting the white board out, as Sheldon reentered the room.

By the time Sheldon returned from starting the load, the group had shifted. Amy was sitting in-between Stuart and Wil. Sheldon took his spot back on the couch, tried to look uninterested.

"So the Dr. who made the formula was actually a Nazi spy? That sounds a lot like Hydra. I don't know." Leonard didn't want the story to be too much like the Marvel Universe.

Everyone was adding to the story, arguing over details like Amy, Penny and Bernie had over Thor. "Amy was brilliant; she gave scientific credence to the plot, while still maintaining the whimsy needed for a good story" thought Sheldon. He had no idea she would be so good at comic books plots.

He just sat back and watched her get excited, basking in her brilliance. He wanted to compliment her, but didn't. He wanted to praise her, but didn't. He wanted to hold her hand, but didn't. He was just watching, with wonder and regret. Finally, it was time to switch to the laundry. Emily and Raj walked down with Sheldon, they had plans to go to a late show in Hollywood.

"So dude, how's it going? It seemed to be a little tense between you and Amy?" Raj really hated seeing Amy and Sheldon fight.

"Oh Raj, you romantic fool, you, everything is fine. We are friends, nothing more. Besides, we always argue like that. It's one of the things I love about her." Sheldon didn't even catch his phrase; he just kept walking down the stairs, lost in thought.

In the car, Emily asked Raj, "Why does she put up with him. He's an impossible idiot. "

Raj looked starry eyed, "She loves him. He doesn't know it, but he loves her too. When he figures it out, it will topple his world. Then, when he realizes what he has done to her, he will crack."

"And, unfortunately for him, Amy is the only one who can put Humpty Dumpty back together again."


	8. Chapter 8

**Author's notes: There is a part of this story that would be greatly enhanced if the reader would go and listen to Don Henley, "Boys of Summer." Poor Sheldon….**

**Effect of change in temperature**

"What fresh Hell is this?" Sheldon was roasting. It was 11:00 am on Sunday morning and he felt as if he stepped in a sauna. He didn't want to adjust the thermostat though, that was not happening.

"Sheldon, can we please adjust the thermostat!" Amy was dying.

In spite of the thermostat it felt like it was 100 degrees inside the apartment.

The morning had been fine so far. The morning was uneventful. Sheldon seemed to be a good mood for someone who was so vehemently opposed the visitors last night. Amy wanted to point this fact out, but kept quietly reading her book.

After breakfast, she took a shower. She was hot, and a cool shower was just what she needed. She had a cotton robe on and her hair in a towel, reading a book in the chair. She was not dressed for the heat; she would have to beg Sheldon to change the thermostat.

"Sheldon, it is crazy hot in here. I can't stand this anymore. I have to change." She went to her room. She had nothing that was not wool or thick. She needed clothes. Amy walked out her room, still in her robe and headed toward the door.

"You're not going out like that, are you?" Sheldon eyed her up and down. He used the same tone his mother did talking to Missy when they were teenagers.

"I'm going across the hall, I need something to wear since you **refuse** to change the thermostat, I have to improvise."

Knock Knock Knock.

"Hey Ames, what's up?" Penny was wearing a skimpy tank top and shorts.

"Penny I need your help. I am roasting over there and the Vulcan master won't let me change the thermostat. Can you lend me some clothes that I won't melt in? I didn't bring the appropriate attire for _Vulcan_!"

"HA HA HA, cause _Vulcan's_ hot right. Oh god, I can't believe I know that. Come on in, I have just the thing. " Penny let her in the Apartment.

"I can't believe I know it too, thanks bestie!"

20 minutes later and after much debate over fabric choices, Amy went back to 4A, robe in hand, dressed for the conditions.

She opened the door, and Sheldon jaw dropped. She was wearing a light weight white cotton top, capped sleeves with a pair of shorts mid thigh. The blouse was almost see- through and he could tell she wasn't wearing a bra. Her legs were strong and smooth and uncovered.

"What are you wearing; did you borrow from Penny's skanky clothing line?"

"No Sheldon, there is nothing wrong with this outfit. It was one of the more conservative options, frankly. If you would allow the AC on, I wouldn't have to dress like I'm going to the beach."

"You dress like that at the beach?" Sheldon had never been to the beach with Amy. He was not happy to think she would go out in public looking so… uncovered.

"I feel like I'm back in the mid east again. I was dying there too, but had to stay covered. Here, I don't have to worry about it. UNTIL NOW!" She went to the fridge to get a bottle of water. As she bent down to get the bottle, Sheldon could see down her shirt. He shifted in his seat.

"Well, maybe a few degrees wouldn't hurt… It is hotter than blazes in here." Sheldon checked the thermostat, it was 81 degrees. Hmmm, it should have kicked in at 71 degrees. He checked it again; nothing. He decided to call the building manager.

After 45 minutes, and much pleading, the building manager agreed to call someone for the AC. It was a Sunday, so no one would come until 2:30PM. Sheldon was in hell.

"Well this is an unacceptable situation."

"You're telling me, brother. Maybe we should go somewhere else?"

"No we have to wait for the repair man, he might come early. "

"You do, I don't."

"Yes you do, Roommate agreement section 5, sub paragraph A: In the event of a repair visit, it is the duty of both parties to ensure the quickest resolve."

"Oh crap!" Amy rolled up her Neuron journal and begun fanning herself with it.

"We could play a game?"

"If it's "don't break the ice", or "Cold War" I'm in. "

" How about counterfactuals?" Sheldon loved playing that game with Amy; she was only one who could play it well. It was like their secret.

"No, I don't have the cognitive processing power right now."

"How about Jenga?"

"Okay, I could do that." Sheldon set up the bricks. First he went to the bedroom and put on his plaid shorts and a t-shirt. No reason to suffer.

Amy waited for him, lying back in the beige chair. When he came out, he saw her lying across the chair, legs dangling, back arched, head tilted back. She had beads of sweat dripping down her chest. Sheldon swallowed hard and headed to the kitchen. He got a bag of ice and a towel, wrapped it up and handed it to her." Here, this might help."

"Oh, thank you, I really hate humidity. Southern California girl, I'm not used to it."

"In East Texas, you get used to it, or die trying." Sheldon went to the closet and got a standing fan, pulled it in and faced it towards her. She had put her hair up in a loose bun. The wind from the fan was pushing against her blouse, giving him a better view of her curves. He quickly sat down, squirmed a little in his chair.

They started the game. Amy had a steady hand and she was hard to beat. In between moves, she would walk to the fan, bending over letting the air move down her shirt. He had a perfect view of her. Sheldon was getting strange feelings, he tried to ignore.

"Where is that repair man, I am ready to strip and live in the fridge. How hot is it in here now? Oh God, its 87 degrees. I hate Santa Ana winds or we could open the window, its 110 outside. This is a nightmare.. ." Amy was dying; she really couldn't take the heat anymore.

"As my mom would say, 'it's hotter than a goat's butt in a pepper patch'. Why don't you take another shower, you might feel better." Sheldon couldn't take much more of her bending down in front of him anyway, he needed a break.

"Good Idea." Without a second thought, she ran to the shower, and striped and set it to cold.

Sheldon looked over and noticed her robe on the chair, she had forgotten it. He debated on whether to bring it to her. "Of course, she'll need her robe…Hmmmm"

Knock Knock Knock

Amy?

Knock Knock Knock

Amy?

Knock Knock Knock

Amy?

_Come in._

"I am going to bring your robe." Sheldon didn't want to enter, but he wanted to give her the robe, he went into the bath room and put the robe on the sink. He could see in mirror a glimpse of her in through a split in the shower curtain. He saw all her, soapy and wet. He was frozen.

He stood there for what felt like hours, watching her. Finally her voice broke his gaze.

"Did you come in? Thanks for the robe."

"Oh yes, well, here it is." He quickly left, went to his room and closed the door.

A hero always peeks.

Amy came out of the shower feeling better. She put on her robe and went to her room to change back into Penny's clothes. She went out, but Sheldon was not in the living room, so she went back into her room and decided to play something on the harp.

Sheldon sat there, in his room, thoughts running wild, trying desperately to ignore his baser urges. He remembered when she was sick and he gave her the bath. He ignored his feelings then as well, this time was harder for some reason. Why? Forbidden fruit?

His thoughts were interrupted when he heard her playing the harp. She was playing, "Boys of Summer", by Don Henley, an appropriate song given the weather and location. Sheldon knew all the lyrics, his sister used to play it incessantly over one summer. He sat back in his bed, remembering the lines,

_**I never will forget those nights, I wonder if it was a dream**__**  
**__**Remember how you made me crazy, remember how I made you scream**__**  
**__**Now I don't understand what happened to our love**__**  
**__**But babe, I'm gonna get you back, I'm gonna show you what I'm made of**__**.**_

Knock Knock Knock. Amy stopped playing, jumped up and ran to the door. FINALLY! The repair man! Sheldon went out as well, shook from his day-dream.

"Oh thank God you're here. Please save us, deliver us from this hell!" Amy lamented.

The Repair man eyed her up and down; Sheldon noticed this fact right away. He walked right up to him and stood in front of her, blocking his view.

"Yes, and it is about time too. The problem is right over here."

"Yes, well, we have a lot of trouble with these old buildings, let me go on the roof and I will be right back."

The repair man left, Sheldon turned to Amy, "Do you want to change?"

"I'm not changing anything till this apartment has a livable temperature. He should be done soon." Amy couldn't help but notice his concern with her appearance.

"Yes, well, the sooner he is gone the better…" Sheldon sat back in spot, waiting for relief.

The repair came back and met Amy at the door, "Can you have your husband adjust to the temp, let's see if I fixed it."

"Oh, he's not my husband." She looked over at Sheldon who was eyeing her. He almost seemed upset when she said that. "Sure, Sheldon do you want to check the thermostat?" Amy smirked.

Sheldon was not amused, "Fine!" He got up and turned down the dial. The AC kicked in right away.

"Oh thank the Gods! How can ever thank you enough!" Amy was gushing, like the guy had given her a tiara, or something.

"Well, you are very welcome little lady, it is pleasure to do work for such _appreciative_ clients. I would love to ask you…" Sheldon cut him off mid sentence, pushing him out the door. "Yes Great, wonderful, it works fine, tell the building manager. Bye." He slammed the door and locked it.

Amy just smirked at him, picked up her journal, and starting reading it again.

Sheldon went and took a cold shower.

Sunday was WII bowling night. Amy wanted Sheldon to have a similar schedule to his pre-freak-out life as possible.

"Tonight is WII bowling night, do you want me to pick up food before the guys come over."

Sheldon debated this. While, he liked the idea of having the guys over for games, he didn't like the idea of Amy bent over in that outfit in front of them, especially Wolowitz. He also didn't like the idea of Amy going out dressed up in Penny's Daisy Mays.

"I think we should cancel."

"Cancel, why? You like playing video games with the guys." Amy was confused.

"Yes, well, we saw them yesterday. Don't want to over load the system."

"Sheldon, before you left, you saw the guys every day. Nothing changed; they miss you and want to see you."

"I highly doubt they missed me. I just feel like a quiet evening."

"Well, have fun, I m going to the movies."

"The movies! What movie, with whom, when will you be back" asked Sheldon giving her the 3rd degree.

Amy almost told him she was going to Emily to see some chick flick, but decided against it. "It is none of your concern where I go, whom I go with, and when I come home. None of that information is required under our present relationship paradigm. Now you can have the quiet evening you so desperately wanted." She was still wearing the shirt Penny gave her, but had put on a skirt and a bra. _Thank goodness she changed_, Sheldon thankful she wasn't going out with her "not for public consumption outfit".

Amy grabbed her purse and left.

Now Sheldon sat in his spot.

He was cold for some reason.


	9. Chapter 9

**Effect of change in pressure**

Monday morning came. Sheldon didn't sleep well. Last night, he had waited for Amy to return from her movie like a worried father. She returned, around 9:45 and said nothing to him except _good night_ and got ready for bed. Sheldon had a hell of a night while she was gone.

He invited the guys over after all. Wolowitz and Raj took turns teasing Sheldon about Amy ,and Leonard wasn't much help defending him. Raj had a list of potential suitors for Amy while Wolowitz commented on everything they would do to her.

"Amy and I have a relationship of the _mind_. We are above such baser urges." Sheldon chided.

"Well, I'm sure Wil Wheaton wouldn't _MIND _discovering Amy's baser urges. She probably has a lot of built up frustration over years being with you!."

"Why on EARTH would Amy go out with WIl Wheaton? She hated him!" Sheldon had enough troubles with Stuart, now Wil Wheaton would be sniffing around. But then he remembered that kiss on the cheek!

Sheldon tried his best to ignore them, telling them they were childish and how Amy was above gallivanting with troglodytes, but he was worried. It didn't help that while the guys were there, Sheldon checked the voice mail:

_**"Um, Hello this is Frank, from Frank AC repair service. This message is for the woman in 4A. I just wanted to call and check on everything, make sure you're okay and still staying cool. If you need anything, repair related or not, I would love to help you out. My phone number is 818-555-1215. Again, if you're feeling hot and steamy, give me call. I was a pleasure meeting you today. Hopefully, I will hear from you soon. Bye."**_

Obviously, listening to the message while the guys were in the room was a rookie mistake.

"Oh Sheldon, looks like someone wants to keep Amy from getting too hot!" Raj teases.

"Yeah, make sure you give her that message, I know she'll want to thank him, PERSONALLY!" Even Leonard was teasing him.

Tired of their Tomfoolery, he happily kicked them out around 9:00. But it did not help his sleep. Dreams of Amy being swept away by some hunky repair man to his ice palace or WIl Wheaton enjoying her Star Trek medical uniform kept him tossing and turning all night.

Exhausted, Sheldon finally got up. Not looking forward to his first day back to work.

He was apprehensive about going to Caltech. Siebert was expecting him, he had to report to HR, and then he's probably run into Kripke. All together, he was dreading it. Amy was up, and her morning bathroom routine didn't affect him in the least. In fact, he liked going in after her, smelling her clean scent from her shampoo. She looked rested and dressed. Sheldon was thankful she was back to her old wardrobe. They sat quietly eating oatmeal.

"Thank you for making the oatmeal Sheldon, that was very thoughtful of you."

"No problem, uh, Amy the repair man called to check if everything was okay. He left a message, if you want to hear it. " _Sheldon was thinking to himself: Please don't listen to it, Please don't listen to it._

"Okay great. I'll check it later."

"Have you heard from Wil Wheaton?"

"No, why? Did he call too?" What an odd question, Amy thought.

"No, thank god." Amy didn't notice Sheldon's sigh of relief. At least he did his obligation in relaying message. That was part of the Roommate agreement, after all...

There was a knock at the door.

"Hey Sheldon, you ready for work?" Leonard was holding the door slightly open, waiting to go.

"I thought Amy was taking me?" Sheldon looked confused; he was looking forward to playing driving games with Amy. Leonard hated them, but Amy always enjoyed them stating there were a wonderful way to pass the time commuting.

"I am not going to Caltech today, Leonard will take you."

"The roommate agreement states that you are required to take me to and from work."

"Unless it is inconvenient for the responsible party, didn't you read the amendments I made? Honestly, you surprise me Dr. Cooper." Amy smirked.

"Inconvenient? What on earth do you mean?" Sheldon was shocked by not only her statement but her understanding of contract law.

"I'm going anyway, what's the big deal?"Leonard really wanted to go.

"What's the big deal? What's the big deal? God lord, the _big deal_ is that the roommate agreement is binding convent that is beneficial to both parties. This is a violation."

"The _old_ roommate was beneficial to you and you alone. I just evened the playing field, giving it balance, you know, equilibrium." Amy cleaned up her dish and was heading out.

"This is not balanced; this is skewed in your favor."

"Dude, I'm going let's go!"

"Fine, were not done talking about this, little lady." Sheldon's scolding tone was ignored.

"Oh, I think we are. See you tonight. I will pick up the Thai food, Leonard, you in?

"Count me and Penny in, thanks Amy, see you tonight."

As Sheldon slugged down the stairs, he was still in shock. What was the point of having Amy move in if she wasn't going to be at his beck and call? True, her presence was not unwelcome. She was, so far, a perfect roommate. But, why would she not want to take him? Wasn't that the point of her moving in the first place?

"I don't know where that green-eyed minx thinks she gets the idea that she is not responsible for driving me. " Sheldon was pouting.

"Sheldon, she has another appointment, she not even going to Cal Tech. What do you care, I'm going there every day, it is the same as old times?" Leonard said that statement with a twinge of regret.

"It is not the same, Leonard, not by a long shot. How can I depend on you? Who knows how long you will able to take me given your distraction with Penny's ball and chain. Amy's moving in was supposed to bring some stability, dependability, balance."

"You've never been balanced. Everything and everyone has to bend in your favor. Amy isn't bending anymore. She doesn't have to."

"Well this puts a lot pressure on me to think of alternatives." Sheldon knew there was no alternative. He had been through 5 roommates before Leonard. Amy was the only one of his friends who didn't bitch and moan taking him anywhere. Now she was balking too. _Could this day get any worse? Why yes, yes it could.._

Cal Tech was a bureaucratic hellscape. Sheldon went through the hoops he must in order to get back to work. By 2:00 pm, he was back in office, staring at white board, lost for where to start. In walked Kripke:

"SOOOO Cooper, back fwrom the dead I see. What bwrings you back to gwace us wirth your prwencence. "

"The universe screamed to me in a dream to come back and save science from would be heathens such as yourself, who would sully its good name."

"Wow Cooper, you're in a mood. No Welcome back sex with your grilfwriend, ay?"

"I don't have a girlfriend anymore."

"She dumped you huh? Frwankly, I don't know how you got one to begin with."

"She did not dump me. I broke up with _her_. She was distracting me from science."

"She's a fwree agent huh? HMMMMM... Fwrom what you say, she kind of a fwreak!"

"Don't even try it, Kripke. She wont give you the time of day. She's not a freak, (whatever that means,) she's a brilliant scientist. We are going to channel our minds to science, not whatever you're thinking now." Kripke is sniffing around, now. Will this nightmare ever end, Sheldon thought.

"Gwiven the state of your white board, sounds like your brwillant plan worked like a charm. See you waiter, wooser. " Kripke slammed the door.

Sheldon looked back at his blank board, fuming while he talked to himself:

_What the hell does Kripke know? I will be able to focus now. Everything is great with Amy, she is a perfect roommate. Everything will be fine. She and I don't need a relationship, we are fine. I can concentrate on work, not on her, with her distracting emotions… Or her constant pushing. She's not pushing now; she barely looks at me with her green eyes. She's fine, she's happy. I'm happy. I can be friends with her, no pressure. NO pressure to console her emotions, no pressure to talk about feelings and other hippy malarkey. No pressure to touch her, hold her hand, hug her, kiss her, touch her hips, feel her lips, smell her hair… _

Sheldon shook himself. He had to focus. He didn't have any pressures now. He could work. But the truth was, he couldn't.

Amy arrived back at 4A with dinner. It was perfect, no mistakes. Sheldon wasn't surprised, she had proven herself worthy during the time she almost moved in after he and Leonard had that dispute over Harry Potter. Honestly, Sheldon thought_, how hard is it. Meek krob and Chicken satay._

Penny was over and she and Amy were chuckling in the kitchen again. Something about Friday and a dress, did she say Zack? Sheldon looked down as soon as they got to the table. Before Amy could sit, there was a knock at the door.

"Delivery for Amy Farrah Fowler?" It was white roses in a vase. Amy took the card, read it, smiled and put it her pocket.

Penny was the first to say something, "Amy, you little Vixen, who sent you flowers?"

Amy debated in her head what to say next. She looked at Sheldon, who had eyes the size of saucers, waiting for an answer.

"Oh, you know, I told you about it." Playing coy was hard for Amy, but she was pulling it off nicely.

Penny knew exactly who they were from. "Wow that was really thoughtful. You can thank him on Friday." Hiding her snicker was a little hard for Penny.

"Friday, what's Friday?" Sheldon was dying now. He had to know who sent Amy flowers, what was this about Friday and did it have anything to do with Zack?

Before Amy could answer, Penny got a phone call. "Oh hey, yeah, she's here. Is Wednesday cool Amy?

"Wednesday good, I can do it here at 6:30." Amy replied.

Sheldon was watching the conversation like a ping pong match. "What's Wednesday now?"

Amy hushed him, "I'll tell you in a minute." Penny got off the phone. "Okay, you're all set. He'll be here Wednesday.

"WHO WILL BE HERE? What is going on Amy?" Sheldon hated being in the dark.

Penny answered, "Calm down Sheldon. That was my ex Zack. His dad wants him to make his own way in the world, so he is starting a business as personal trainer. Amy has wanted to work out, but she is so busy, so he is coming here to show her some routines." Penny was hoping Leonard wouldn't notice she was talking to Zack, but no such luck.

"What are you doing talking to Zack?" Leonard was not happy.

"Relax, honey, nothing going on. I ran into him at the gym. He was dropping off business cards. Besides, I'm not going to work out with him, Amy is!" Penny hoped to switch the jealousy back to Sheldon; it worked.

"Not Acceptable. You have not given the required notice." Sheldon was twitching, noticeably.

Amy got up, without saying a word. Pulled out her phone, typed some buttons, and pushed send. Sheldon phone beeped a sound indicating he received a text from her. "Now you have," and she went back to eating her Pad Thai.

"I will not turn this apartment into some workout studio with sweaty bodies and techno music."

"I'm not happy about it either pal, my fiancé is talking to her ex."

Amy, waved her hand in Sheldon's direction, "Oh, Sheldon doesn't care. He once helped me when I tried to engage in coitus with Zack in order to alleviate my sexual arousal."

"Yes, but we were just friends then, it was different." Sheldon REALLY didn't need the reminder of that day. He was so happy that Amy didn't follow through with her intent to have sex with Zack. He thought she had controlled her baser urges with Kollinar. Obviously, a lot had changed.

"And, we are just friends again. So, really, it's not different." Amy thought she was being a little cruel, so she softened the blow, "Regardless, I have no interest in engaging in coitus with Zack. I just want help starting a workout routine. Nothing more."

Sheldon sat pushing around his food_. Nothing more, he'd make sure of that_. He knew he didn't have a leg to stand on. He broke up with her. She could see who she wanted. Amy was pragmatic, but still she did admit to having a sexual attraction to him. Sheldon couldn't help thinking of Amy with Zack bending over her, his hands on her back, touching her. Then he thought about her in the shower, then Zack in the shower! Then, Zack and Amy kissing while looking at the moon blowing up! It was all too much!. Sheldon got up to get a drink. He had to clear his head. There was another knock at the door. Sheldon answered it this time.

"Flowers for Dr Fowler!" Sheldon took the vase of tulips from the man, wanting desperately to look at the card. Amy jumped up and took it out of his hands before he could read who it was from. She smiled and put the flowers in the middle of the island in the kitchen.

"You aren't going to leave those there, are you?" Sheldon didn't want the constant reminder of flowers from other men.

"There is nothing in the Roommate agreement about having flowers in the apartment." Amy turned back, arranging the flowers.

"Yet another oversight!"


	10. Chapter 10

**_Le Chatelier's principle qualitatively describes systems of instantaneous change; the duration of adjustment depends on the strength of the negative feedback to the initial shock_****_._**

_Now for the Negative Feedback to the Initial Shock: _

"You're not taking me to work today, AGAIN?" Sheldon was dripping with disappointment. He had just gotten up, but Amy had already eaten breakfast and was about to leave.

"No, I have to finish up with my things at UCLA, Leonard is taking you. And he is taking you to the Cheesecake Factory tonight too. "

"I expected _you_ to do it! Also I thought you would want to. " That last part was said a little softer.

"Well, you expected wrong. Also, given your whining, I don't want to either." Amy was tired, and not looking forward to driving to Westwood in LA traffic. Thank god she switched to CalTech. But she needed to finish up a few things at the lab. Sheldon's childish attitude and demands weren't helping her mood.

Her last comment stung him, "OH well, what you _want_ is irrelevant. It is expected." He thought she would want to take him.

"I know it's hard when you are expecting something and the other person doesn't reciprocate." She couldn't hide her condescension, "You wish they would _want_ to, but in the end, it comes down to obligation doesn't it?" _Sheldon knew she wasn't talking about carpooling._

Then Sheldon noticed her eyes. She finally looked at him. He saw something in them he had seen so many times before, but couldn't identify. He was terrible at reading facial expressions, and worse at emotions. She could have been mad, or frustrated or hurt or just constipated. Before he could ask, she turned away and left him with a door slam.

Sheldon busied himself getting ready and met Leonard outside the apartment. It was like the old days, expect it wasn't. Sheldon should be happy, but he wasn't. Amy should have wanted to take him, she always did before, but she didn't.

"Leonard, I'm confused. ..." Before Sheldon could finish, Leonard cut him off. "You're just getting that now?"

"**Anyway**! Amy seems to be going out her way not to spend time with me. She always enjoyed it before. Do you think she just went out with me before because she had to, per the relationship agreement?"

"No, that's what **_you_** did. Amy wanted to spend time with you, wanted to take you places, because frankly Sheldon, she loved you. You were the one who spent time with her because of Agreement. Leonard wasn't sure it was a good idea to tell Sheldon Amy loved him, but what the hell, he was an idiot.

"I spent time with Amy because I _wanted_ to." Sheldon quipped defensively.

"Really, Sheldon? Scheduled date nights! Restrictions on hand holding! Sounds like you just were forcing yourself to do something you really didn't want to do. Don't think Amy didn't notice. "

"Leonard, we had a contract so we would know what to expect from each other within the parameters of social convention. We weren't a bunch of slobbering idiots, like some couples I know…" And he shot Leonard a look of disapproval.

"HEY! I like being a slobbering idiot with Penny! No one said you had to jump each other's ones in public, just that you showed her some kind of affection without it being in the contract… But now, you don't have to worry. Isn't this what you wanted? You have the best of both worlds, a roommate you can live with and no obligations. So yay!" Leonard tried to lighten the mood.

"Yes, as you say, "YAY!" Sheldon said as flatly and dismissively as he could muster.

However, he didn't feel like celebrating. Sheldon missed the little bits of affection that Amy and he enjoyed together. He was getting better at touching and he didn't think about germs when they kissed. Truth was, cuddling wasn't **THAT** bad. He ended the relationship because it was distracting. Was he distracted because he didn't like it, or because he was liking it too much?

"Don't you have exactly what you wanted? You should be thrilled!" Leonard knew Sheldon was an idiot but it is long road to admitting it.

"Yes, it is what I said I wanted, isn't it." said Sheldon glumly looking out the window.

Their conversation finally ended with their arrival at work. Trudging through a theory he no longer had his heart into was fast becoming tedious, at best. Sheldon was no closer to any earth shattering breakthroughs. Frankly, he was stuck on the most basic of problems. He almost got sunburned from the albedo effect coming off his blank white board.

This new paradigm with Amy was supposed to help his focus. He found it was a distraction. He missed her, even though she was 3 feet from him. He hated the idea of other men sending her flowers and giving her exercise tips. Mostly, he missed her smile, her laugh. He couldn't get the image of her eyes out of his head. Sheldon was confused by his feelings, and didn't know how to process them. When he got what he wanted, he was disappointed. It was a paradox.

After work, Leonard and Sheldon planned to go to the Cheesecake Factory. On the way, Sheldon demanded, "I need to go to the store and pick a few things up."

"I know there is a please in there somewhere. "

"Indeed: _**P****lease**_ don't take too long driving me to the store. " Sheldon was in a foul mood.

At the store, Sheldon picked out a George Forman grill. He remembered that Amy borrowed her mother's grill in exchange for agreeing to go on one date a year. Unfortunately, Sheldon didn't make the connection between getting her a grill would cancel the dating obligation that she had with her mother. Sheldon also picked up a case of Amy's dandruff shampoo and dry ingredients for brownies.

After dinner, Sheldon and Leonard visited Penny in the bar. "What's up Captain Clueless and sweetie?"

"I don't think Leonard is clueless, Penny." Sheldon was often confused by Penny's greetings.

"I think my point is made, Sheldon."

Penny was tending bar at the Cheese Cake factory every Tuesday, just for some pocket money. Sheldon always went to Penny for advice about Amy, but this time it was different. He knew Penny was ticked at him, so he had to tread lightly.

"Well, Penny. Do you have any of that Tea you served me before? That was really good tea." Sheldon looked depressed, confused. Penny could have given him a ration, but she was feeling sorry for him.

"Listen up Pal, drinking is not the answer to your troubles. "

"Troubles, that's the problem, I don't have any troubles…"Sheldon lied.

"OH PLEASE! Everyone knows you're missing Amy."

"How can I possible miss Amy? I live with her. I can't miss her when I have breakfast with her, or see in her in the hall, or when we sit and read together. I can't miss her when we eat dinner, or play Jenga. It's an impossibility. Really, your engagement to Leonard has warped your mind."

"Sheldon, you miss Amy AS A GIRLFRIEND! She is just a friend now, it's tough. I told you before with string theory; break ups are tough; for both parties." Penny didn't want to say too much. She could see the pain in Amy's eyes a mile away. How could Sheldon miss it?

"It's not tough for Amy; she's getting along great without me. Besides, this is best for us. Her career…"

"Oh phooey on her career. Her career was great with you being an ass and will be great without you. She is getting honors and published even with you breaking her heart. She can separate it. Why couldn't you?"

That last comment hit below the belt. Amy was flourishing in her field while Sheldon was crumbling. That is exactly why he broke up with her, so he could get back to Science. But, it should be better now. He should be better now. He knew he wasn't. The plan was falling apart. "I am trying to focus, that is why I terminated the relationship, to FOCUS. It is proving more difficult than imagined…"

Penny didn't hold back now, she handed him a Long Island Iced Tea, and dropped the bomb: " Ya, know Shelly, I really think you screwed up. You let the best thing in your life go because you thought you didn't need her. Now she is off having a life without you, and it hurts. You don't want to see your ex with other guys, either. I think you don't want anyone else to play with your toys even if you didn't want them."

Sheldon had sucked down half the tea before he spat back, "I wanted her! I just didn't want all the expectations."

"Well you had a funny way of showing it. And the fact that you thought they were expectations was part of your problem. Now you don't have them, you should feel better, more balanced. How's that working for ya?"

"Not very well, frankly. I can't focus, I can't think. I need more tea. I feel something, I am not used to…Maybe it's the tea."

Leonard's turn, "Its not the tea, Sheldon. For a really long time, as long as I can remember, you have lived your life with shields up. No emotions. Now, you've been hit with a phaser blast of hurt: Amy getting attention from men, Amy not gushing over you, Amy not giving you the time of day. It has weaken your defense shields and now you might start feeling things you aren't ready for. I am worried when she dates, and she will, it will be a photon torpedo blast to your heart. "

"Star Wars analogies aside…"

"Star Trek!" Sheldon and Leonard shouted at the same time.

"_**Yeah,**_ _**Whatever**_!" She hands Sheldon one more Long Island Iced tea, which he quickly sucked down. "These emotions come from somewhere, sweetie. Deep down, in closed off heart, you love her. You just haven't realized it, yet."

He turns to Leonard, "Told you I was sweetie!, and now I need more tea!"

"Oh no, pal, you've had enough tea. Here, have a YooHoo." Sheldon loved YooHoo, but it reminded him of Amy. Everything reminded him of Amy. He thought he was above emotional entanglement, he thought he was able to compartmentalized his feelings. He wasn't. He did miss her. He would see her tonight, and still miss her. Sheldon was on the verge of something he had rarely done before. An event, so infrequent, its occurrence would send shock waves through his core.

**_He was about to admit, he made a _****_mistake_****_._**


	11. Chapter 11

**_Author's notes: I cant thank you all enough for the reviews and suggestions. It is extremely helpful for me as a new writer to get feedback. Also, the suggestions help me write future chapters and change details. Your suggestions have made this story you all!_**

_If a dynamic equilibrium is disturbed by changing the conditions, the position of equilibrium moves to partially reverse the change__._

"No Sheldon! We are NOT going to Wil Wheaton's house!" Leonard wanted to kill Penny for leaving him with a half drunk Sheldon.

"That low down scoundrel was hitting on my woman."

"Dude, she's not your woman anymore, I'm sorry."

"Leonard, you are right. We should mark our calendars. Now, pull over to that tree."Sheldon vomiting helped his stomach and his head, but new feeling. Anyone else would know it as regret. Sheldon wasn't anyone.

Sheldon came home with Leonard after the Cheesecake Factory. He wasn't drunk anymore, but he was pretty loose. _That Nebraskan lumberjack poisoned me with her blasted concoctions_. He thought he would talk to Amy, maybe work some things out, discuss the rare possibility that he might have been mistaken sending the termination notice. However, Amy was already in bed, sleeping. She had an exhausting day dealing with UCLA and the traffic in Westwood. After she got home, she took a long bath and went to bed. She heard Sheldon come home, but pretended to be asleep. She didn't want to see him.

He seemed to be okay with their break up, in her mind. He was whining about not getting his way, but that was typical Sheldon. He showed he was jealous, but that was expected, he was a jealous person. Just because he didn't want her with other men, didn't mean he wanted _her_.

Sheldon thought about waking her. He wanted to see her. He stood outside her door, debating if he should knock or not. Finally, deciding that it would be prudent to let her sleep, he went to bed himself. He drifted off to sleep, thinking about his conversations with Leonard and Penny and how it was possible he developed a Tea allergy?

Amy didn't see that Sheldon knew he had made a mistake or that he was ready to admit it. Her pain flooded back and she resolved to move out after the week was out. She tried not to cry, but it didn't work, she lightly cried herself to sleep, unaware that Sheldon was on the other side of the door, aching to talk to her.

The next morning, Amy got up, and headed to the shower. She almost tripped on a case of dandruff shampoo left in the doorway.

Sheldon was up and fixing his breakfast; he needed eggs and lots of water. Amy didn't have to go to UCLA today, but she didn't want to be in a car with him either. She was hoping he didn't expect her to drive him, she was wrong.

After her shower, Sheldon was in the hall. "Are you going to UCLA today, or CalTech?"

"Ummm, Caltech, but not till later. You should go with Leonard. "

"I don't mind waiting for you. "

"Oh, you don't have to."

"But I want to."

"Okay Sheldon, but I still need to dry my hair; I won't be leaving for about 30 minutes.

"I'll wait." Sheldon was switching his routine, but it was a small change. Maybe he could talk to her in the car. But what to say? He should just be friendly, coy, play it cool. _Don't scare her off, Cooper._

Leonard poked his head in the apartment, "Ready to go buddy?"

"No, I'm going with Amy, see you at lunch."

"Really, wow… Well good luck with that, dude." Leonard left

Sheldon walked back down the hall, he could hear her hair dryer blowing. It was one of the things she kept in her woman basket in the bath. He stood in the open bathroom doorway, watching her with fascination as she brushed her hair.

"Oh, Sheldon you scared me, I'll be ready in a few minutes. And thank you so much for the shampoo. It sure is a lot of it though!" Amy was nervous with Sheldon standing there. She quickly put on some makeup, including lip gloss, and put it all back in her basket. She liked to keep her things together, even at her apartment. She hadn't changed her routine for 4A living.

Sheldon moved out of the way, as she walked out. " Well, buying in bulk is economic advantageous. You look nice."

Amy was floored. Sheldon hardly ever gave compliments. "OH, well thank you. We better go. I am ready if you are."

"Is that a new grill?"

"Yes, I thought you might not want to borrow your mothers anymore."

Amy didn't suffer fools, she knew this was Sheldon's way to keep her from dating. "Well, thank you. I canceled that arrangement with mother after we started dating. Nothing worse than having obligations you regret, correct?"

"Yes, well, if you don't want them, yes. Anyway, we should go." Sheldon knew she was driving at something, but he missed the turn off.

The walk down stairs was quiet. Amy figured Sheldon was deep in thought. Actually, he walked purposely behind her so he could watch her go down the stairs. He was trying to figure out what to say to her when she spoke, "Don't forget, tonight Zack is coming over."

_Oh good lord_, Sheldon thought_, that's right ZACK!_ _Okay Cooper, don't show emotion… Kollinar… Kollinar…._

"Oh Amy, I think you forgot when you made your plans that tonight is Halo night. The guys are coming over and the apartment will be crowded. "

"Well, I could just meet him at his apartment."

"NO! Oh god no, don't do that! I can cancel with the guys. Proper exercise is an important part of health, you as a biologist should know that, Dr. Fowler." _OH dear lord, Sheldon thought, she can't go to his place, who knows what Cro-Magnon moves that Darwinian reject would pull on Amy._

"Well, location doesn't matter; I just need a place to spread out. I can do it in the hall; I only need about a 3 foot square and a yoga mat."

"That is perfect, and very kind of you. I promise the guys will not disturb you while you conduct your… workout. OH and I have a yoga mat. Penny tried to teach me yoga. A futile exercise."

Sheldon spent a quiet ride over to CalTech carefully crafting his thoughts. Amy was thankful for the quiet, but he was obviously nervous. Every time he thought to speak to her, he second guessed himself. Sheldon thought_, "Good lord, __I'm as nervous as a long-tailed cat in a roomful of rockers."_ It wasn't until they turned in the parking lot that he finally spoke.

"The roommate arrangement seemed to working out. Are you enjoying the new apartment?"

She wanted to scream at him, she wanted to say, _Hell no it's not working out, you're a damn idiot and I am going through hell just being in the same room as you._ But she did she committed to the week, and she doesn't go back on promises. So she lied.

"Yes, it seems to be a pleasant space. It is nice to be so close to work. My commute is cut by 23 minutes, 47 minutes if you count the drive to UCLA. Also, there is more space and it is nice to be near Penny and Leonard. "

Sheldon had hoped she would say it was nice to be with him, but he knew that was pushing it.

"Well, it is nice for me to have you there. _" Don't sound needy, women hate needy._

Amy took this as he was happy with her as a Roommate. She felt the wind leave her sails. "Yes, I am glad. Well, here we are. I am leaving at 5:30, if that is a good time, you can go with me. If not, Leonard will take you home." She quickly walked to biology department, hoping to get away from him as soon as possible.

Sheldon watched her walk away. He could kick himself for losing the opportunity to talk to her. Maybe tomorrow, on their ride to work, or tonight after stupid Zack leaves, they could talk. But what to say? He wanted her back. He wanted it to be the way it was before he left, before they broke up. He hated change. Why did he change the relationship? It was the one thing he didn't have to change. Everything else had fallen apart: He's relationship with Leonard, the comic book store. His friends were changing. But Amy was still there, she didn't change. Not till he left. This whole enterprise was supposed to give him balance, equilibrium, bring back the status quo. He took the one part of the status quo that didn't change and threw it up against a wall, shattering it. Now he wanted it back.

He didn't realize that he had been standing there, staring at her path for 10 minutes before Raj and Wolowitz came up.

"Hey, I think the system has crashed, someone needs a reboot." Wolowitz loved to act like Sheldon was a robot.

"Gentlemen, are you coming over tonight for Halo?" Sheldon had no time for their jests.

"Oh, is that still on? Sure, I can, Emily is doing something with her friends. Howard, will Bernadette let you come out to play?"

"Funny, Raj. But well, actually, yeah! Bernie is working late and I was going to be on my own tonight. It will be just like old time, ay Sheldon?"

"No, not quite…" As he looked back at the door to biology.

After another futile day staring at blank white boards, Sheldon was ready to go home. Leonard took Sheldon to Los Robles. Amy had to stop to get some workout clothes at Target, and begged off taking Sheldon. They picked up the dinner and headed to home. The guys showed up, they started their game and everything seemed like old times. Amy came home and headed to her room. Sheldon got up when she entered, but she made a quick escape to the back. He went back to his game, but kept an ear out for her.

"So, Sheldon… Zack's coming over huh? Isn't he that beef cake ex of Penny's?"

"Yeah, he's dreamy." Raj added. Leonard shot him a look. He was not happy about Zack prowling around, but not nearly as unhappy as Sheldon.

"Gentlemen, please, Zack is merely aiding Amy in a path to health."

"OH, he's going to lead her down a path alright, a sweaty, heart pounding, breathy path." Wolowitz enjoyed watching Sheldon squirm.

Before Sheldon could respond, there was an overly hard knock at the door. Sheldon got up to get it, but before he could, Amy yelled she would and ran over to the door. Her hair was up; she had on tight yoga pants and an even tighter shirt. All four men jaws dropped. They had never known that Amy was hiding such a kicking figure under all those layers of wool and polyester. Sheldon's ears were the color of Crimson.

"Hello Zack, guys, you remember Zack?' Amy looked down when she noticed none of the guys weren't looking at Zack, but looking at her, mouths still open.

"Hey Science dudes, how's it hanging? Do anymore Moon lasers lately?"

Howard was the first to respond, "No the moon is safe... Don't worry."

Leonard added, "But we still _have_ lasers…" He hated that guy.

"Cool! Maybe you can show me later. Hey Amy, I thought we would use your stairs as a warm up. Let's go up and down the stairs to get your heart pumping, then will come back and I can teach you some of those stretches."

"Okay great, be right back. Sorry to interrupt your game."

"No problem Amy, have fun." Raj was so nice. He loved to see Amy was dressing differently. After they'd left Raj blurted out: "Amy looked great, wow, who knew she had such a nice ass."

"Hey! That's uncalled for!" Sheldon had enough to worry about with Zack, he didn't need Raj ogling Amy as well.

"Well, Sheldon, you never noticed it either." Wolowitz added. "And to think you were dating a woman who had a figure like that for 3 years, and never did anything about it. Wow, you really are a Vulcan."

"For your information, I knew she had a figure like that, I've seen her naked before, you know. And you folks don't need to be drooling all over my controllers." He didn't want to admit he'd seen her also in the shower recently.

"What the hell, do you mean, you've seen her naked? When was this? "

"When she was sick, I helped her with her bath."

"Wow, dude, you really have your baser urges under control. I don't think I could have passed that opportunity up." Raj was dreaming about soapy Amy now.

"Well, he doesn't have to worry about it anymore. That's Zack problem now. Speak of the devil."

Amy and Zack came in, out of breath and just a little sweaty. She was laughing as she opened the door. "_Oh, well I don't know about that, Zack but thank you anyway…_ Hey guys! We'll go back in the hall." Amy and Zack went back in the hall but still within in ear shot of the group.

From the back hall, the guys heard:_ "Okay Amy first thing I want you do is stretch your hamstrings. Try this pose."_

_Yeah, just like that. Perfect. Good form. Now switch… Good… Now let's do some squats.. Good, but go deeper, lower… like this … Perfect… You have great Gluts! Do you feel it, right there?"_

"It's like XM porn channel back there…" Wolowitz was getting hot.

"You would know!" Sheldon was shifting uneasily in his chair.

"_Now Amy, we are going to work your arms, let's use the wall as resistance… Push back like this, no let me show you, push your legs back. WOW, you have incredible strength in your calf's. NICE!"_

"I'm going need a cold shower after this..." Raj wasn't playing the game anymore, just listening. Howard had stopped already. Sheldon shot them both a look of death.

"_Okay Amy, lie down on your back. We're going to work your abs. I'll hold your legs. Spread them out a little bit, that's it a little wider…Oh perfect... Now put your arms behind your back and come and meet me. Good Amy, do it again, keep going… you can do it… Push it, harder… Oh you got it now baby! "_

"Good Lord, what _is_ doing to her?" Sheldon had stopped playing now. This was torture, absolute torture.

"I'm going to call Bernie, I just came up with some ideas I like to try out on her…"

Leonard piped in now… "Even I need a cigarette and I have asthma."

_"Let's work your inner thighs next, get a good stretch…"_

Sheldon popped up," I need to get something from my room." He practically ran down the hall. Zack was standing over Amy watching her while she had one leg stretched out and one bent at the knee. She looked up at him; her face was flush and sweaty.

"Excuse, I need to get by." Sheldon squeezed past Zack and went to his room. He looked around for something, grabbed his Green Lantern, and squeezed past the couple again. Amy had switched legs and gave Sheldon a dirty look.

Raj snapped, "Dude, what the hell do you need your Green Lantern for?"

"In case the lights go out, just get back to the game." Sheldon didn't even know if they were playing anymore.

"_Okay Amy, that's great, now let's stretch your ham strings again, grab your ankle and pull it back like this. Oh God, are you okay? I got you."_

Sheldon shot up and ran down the hall; Amy was in Zack's arms. She had lost her balance and he caught her. All Sheldon saw was Zack holding Amy, close to his body.

"I thought you were a professional! What are you doing letting her fall like that?" Sheldon was enraged.

"It's my fault Sheldon, I lost my balance. Zack caught me. I guess I'm a little clumsy."

"You're perfect Amy, it's this big gloot and his fancy moves."

"Dude, it's no big thing. Chill. She's doing great, she's a natural."

"Well of course she is, she's Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, noted Neuroscientist, she can do anything, especially biology related. I would have you handle her with care, if you don't mind." Sheldon crossed his arms, hiding his pride and concern with one gesture.

"Don't worry Sheldon, he didn't break me." Amy smiled.

Sheldon melted, "_She Smiled!"_ He hadn't seen he smile since he'd returned. Not to him anyway.

"Well, I hope so… " Sheldon went back to the room with the guys. None of them said anything. They knew it was not the time. Sheldon was close to full melt down, and they didn't know how to recover him if he went critical.

"Okay, ready to get back to the game?" Leonard hoped to take Sheldon's mind off the business down the hall.

"Next time your future wife has an idea for helping her Ex, I would be grateful if you left my girl… I mean my roommate out of it…" Sheldon had to catch himself again.

"Okay sure buddy, no more ex's. Sounds _**good** _to me" Leonard whispered the next part. " But Amy can do what she wants now, and you can't say anything, dude. I'm sorry."

"I know." Simple statement said it all. Sheldon could have come back with a witty retort, or dismissive comment. It was all he manage to get out. He knew. He knew he screwed up, he knew he was wrong. Finally. Now he had a feeling he finally identified: _Regret_. He didn't know how to process it.

_Well Amy, you did great. You really are a natural, you have a strong core!_

"Call me for the next session! See you dudes! Oh hey, if any of you guys want to work out, get some muscles, call me, Ill leave my cards here! Thanks again Amy!" He leaned over and gave Amy a kiss on the cheek. "Good Bye Zack."

"More Cheek Kissing! WHAT is she wearing a sign, kiss my cheek?!" Sheldon was enraged. He thought he was good at hiding his emotions. He was a miserable failure.

"Well that was unexpected." As Amy rubbed her cheek.

Amy needed a shower and she was starving, too. A shower had to wait for her to eat. She went to the kitchen, trying not to disturb the guys. "Thank you so much for picking up dinner, it was very thoughtful of you."

"Of course." Sheldon was still reeling, but softening now with Amy's gratitude.

Raj said something about the workout first:

"So Amy, how was your workout, are you sore?"

"I'm just sticky, I hate it. I need to take a shower. It was okay, I guess. I think I want to swim instead. Less messy." Amy was seated now, finally eating a much deserved dinner.

"We have a pool at our apartment, you can Bernie could swim together." Wolowitz looked at Sheldon for the next sentence, "If you don't have swim suit I'm sure Penny could lend you a bikini." He gasped at Sheldon, teasing him mercilessly.

Sheldon shot him a look of death and said, "Well Amy, I don't know why you want to work out anyway, you look great how you are. Seems like a lot of unnecessary sweating and grunting to me."

Raj added, "Yes. Speaking of which, I've been enjoying _Necessary_ sweating and grunting quite a lot lately, it is much more pleasant." He loved hinting at his sexual relationship with Emily. He hasn't taken the smile off his face for 4 months.

"Yes, Raj, we are all very happy about your new sexual relationship with Emily." She winked at Raj. "Well, that's not happening anytime soon for me, so swimming it is. God, I need a shower. You guys have fun. Good night!"

Sheldon watched her walk to the bathroom, and heard the shower turn on. Walked straight over to Zack's business cards, and put them in the shredder.

Wolowitz couldn't let the comment go, "Well, _**it**_ might happen sooner than later now that she's a single lady! Maybe she can borrow that Lantern for mood lighting for shtupping, ay Sheldon?"

Sheldon shot Wolowitz another death ray stare. Leonard saved him, "Leave him alone guys. He's beginning to realize what he's missing."

Raj threw the controller down while he threw his hand up, "Oh thank god, Sheldon you need to get Amy back! This ridiculous childish prank of yours has run its course. For some strange and unknown reason, she loves you, and you love her. Any fool can see it, why can't you?" Raj had been sick over the break up. He wanted to smack Sheldon upside the head.

"SHHH, she'll hear you! And it was not a childish prank. I wanted to …"

"Yes, yes, yes, we all know your stupid reasons and lame thought process and what you thought was going to happen. But it didn't and now you're alone. It not a good place Sheldon, I know better than _**all **_of you. You have to fix this." Raj was adamant.

Sheldon, sat back, not wanting to say it, but it came out anyway, "I don't know how to fix it. I don't think I can. "

"Groveling and begging for forgiveness is a great start." Wolowitz was trying to be helpful, in his own snide way.

"Dr. Sheldon Cooper doesn't beg… Well, sometimes he does… When it's important." He remembered BEGGING Howard to show his paper to Stephen Hawking.

Leonard remember it too, "Like Stephen Hawking important? This is like _that_ important Sheldon." Leonard knew better than all of them how good Amy was for Sheldon because he knew Sheldon; better than he knew himself.


	12. Chapter 12

**In _chemistry, the Le Chatelier's principle _is used to manipulate the outcomes of reversible reactions**

Sheldon woke up to sound of the front door closing. Amy had left 4A, she didn't even have breakfast with him. He had no chance to talk to her.

He saw a note: **I had to be a UC Riverside this morning for an early conference. Leonard will be able to take you to work. AFF**

He slumped back on his heels, and head to the shower, hoping to wash away his disappointment, and regret. He tried to refocus his mind, but he couldn't escape, he saw her shampoo. He just wanted to smell her again. He took the bottle and sniff it like a flower. It smelled like her and god, he missed her. He terminated the relationship partly because he didn't want the expectation of physical contact. Now he missed her touch, her presence, her love. Now that it wasn't expected, he wanted it more than anything.

After his shower, he got dressed. He went past her room, he creaked the door open. Her bed was made, everything was clean and tidy. He knew he shouldn't, but he went in and sat on her bed. Her smell overwhelmed his senses. Rushing flood of memories came back to him, each more haunting. Zoo trips, games, sing along nights, and dances, smoking monkeys and beakers. All of the images were swirling in his mind: Her eyes, her laugh, her disappointed stare.

He caught his reflection in the mirror. He finally recognized her look of disappointment and hurt: It was staring back at him. He grabbed her pillow and let out a scream. All the pain he caused, all the emotions he ever tried to hide, stuff down, came flooded over him. The deluge of regret smothered him, choking him while he cried. When Leonard had found him, he sat on the bed, not knowing what to do. Finally, Sheldon gasped for air and pulled his head out of the pillow saturated with his tears.

"OH Leonard. I am lost, so lost. I thought I was lost before, when I went away. That was nothing. This!" Holding out his hands as if emotions were tangible. "This is what I was running from: This pain. And I caused it! ME! I don't know what to do. I never felt this way before. I can't process this. What is this?" Sheldon was rocking back and forth.

Leonard was lost for answers too. Sheldon threw Amy away, without a second thought. The desire to tell him "I told you so" was overwhelmed by how much pain his friend was showing. He needed help, but Leonard didn't know how to try.

"This is pain, Sheldon, this is regret. This is what comes from love, I'm sorry. This is bad side of love."

"I had the good side, didn't I? I had Amy. I knew she loved me. I even told Stuart when I saw him comic book store before I left. I knew she loved me and it didn't matter to me. I left anyway. I threw it away. And now we are broken, I am broken. I don't know how to fix this, or fix me, or fix us. "

"I wish I could give you advice. Well, buddy, all I can say is that you need to talk to Amy, tell her how you feel. Amy will have to make the decision."

"Funny thing is Leonard; Amy would be great at helping me through this. She would know what to do."

"Yeah, yeah she would. Maybe she will."

...

Amy was exhausted. She had to get up at the crack of dawn for the "_damn"_ conference all the way in UC Riverside, "_back water"_. Lab work and research is what she should be doing, not hobnobbing with science's Hoi polloi. She hadn't had a chance to check her email all day during the grueling affair. Finally, at 6:30 before she started her trek back to Pasadena she checked her email on her phone. She had a message from Sheldon

_**Sent: 8:30 AM**_

_**Section C: Emergency meeting Clause: **_

_**I formally request your attendance for a roommate meeting at the apartment at 7:00 pm tonight. We need to discuss Section 5, subsection D. **_

_**Dinner will be served. **_

_**Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper**_

Amy texted Sheldon back: _Sheldon, I'm sorry I just received your message. I am unable to attend. I have a scheduled girl's night at Penny's apartment. I am available on Saturday for the meeting. AFF_

Sheldon received the text just as he was lighting the candles at the table he had set. He had a candlelit dinner planned. He was going to talk to her, and work things out. After he read the message, he blew out the candles, and sat in the dark.

Amy went straight to Penny's. She needed to unwind after her horrific day. Emily and Bernadette were already there. They were going through bridal magazines when Amy came in. After some cold pizza and 2 glasses of cheap wine, it was time for the interrogation:

"Okay, Ames, Spill! How's it going with Sheldon?"

"Yeah, how did it go with Zack? DID Sheldon get jealous?"

"Honestly, I didn't want to make Sheldon jealous with Zack, happy accident. But to answer your question, it is not going well. Sheldon might have been jealous, sure, but he is happy with our arrangement. I think he has moved on."

"Have you?"

"OF course not. I love my sweet babo. But I can't make him love him. He has to want it. It obvious he doesn't. He seems to be the same. I am fooling myself."

"I wouldn't be so sure…" Penny piped in. She and Leonard spoke today. He spilled the beans on Sheldon being devastated.

Now it was Bernie turn to interrogate: "Okay, spill! Whaddya know, blondie?"

"Well, he came in the Cheesecake factory, all broken up over you. Then he was really upset today, Leonard had to give him a hug. I think he is regretting breaking up with you."

"Regret and action are two different things. He asked me for an emergency roommate meeting tonight. Probably about towel or thermostat settings, who knows. He obviously wants to keep our relationship platonic. Besides, should I even go back with him, he only wants what he can't have. He doesn't really love me, I don't know if he can love anything."

"Sheldon doesn't do emotions well. They are all misfired in his brain. But I know he loves you, its just Sheldon style."

"Yes, Sheldon displays classic cognitive dissonance as first expounded by Leon Festinger's theory which focuses on how humans strive for internal consistency, or balance. When Sheldon was confronted with information that was inconsistent with his beliefs. IE He needed me but didn't want me, he rejected it. If it is not reduced by changing one's mind, the result will be restoring consonance through misconception, rejection or refutation of the information." When Amy was done, she took a huge swig of wine.

Turning to Bernie, "What the hell did she just say?" Penny had had too much wine for this explanation.

"Sheldon's an idiot and only Amy knows how to read him or would have the patience to do it." Bernie snapped.

Emily's turn, "Bernie right, you are the only one who could help Sheldon. How sad. He really is stupid."

"Sheldon Lee Cooper is not stupid; he is a brilliant scientist and loyal friend. He just doesn't know how to handle his emotions. He needs help to navigate through the social interactions and emotions that most people take for granted. But you can never say he is stupid. " Amy hated it when the girls bagged on Sheldon. It was catty.

"Like I said, the only one who has patience to do it. You love him, girl. You are head over heels." Bernie clinked her glass with Penny in agreement.

"Lot of good it does me." Amy poured another glass.

Back at 4A, Sheldon finally got up from his spot. He wished Amy would come home from her girl's night but he was exhausted and emotionally drained and still regretting his new found tea allergy. He readied himself for bed.

He was jarred from his sleep by a strange sound, screaming he thought. He shook it off, noticing it was 2:23 AM, but he heard it again, louder. Amy was screaming. He jumped out of bed, and ran to Amy's room. She was having a nightmare. Penny had mentioned that Amy had Night Terrors. She was thrashing about, yelling for someone to stop and something about monkeys.

Sheldon tried to call her name, but kept screaming and it seemed to be getting worse. Penny had said she had to hold Amy when it happened before and Sheldon knew what to do. He sat on the side of the bed and tried to hold her arms down, waking her up by calling her name. Nothing, she was still thrashing. He climbed on top her, tried to get her arms down, while holding her head, his body holding her legs. He kept saying, "Its okay Amy, wake up. It's okay."

Finally Amy climbed out of the dream, winked and found Sheldon on top of her, holding her down, brushing her hair out of her face.

"Sheldon, what's going on?"

"You had a nightmare. I was trying to hold you down."

"Oh, my god, I'm so sorry." Amy was mortified.

"Please don't be, it must have been a doosy."

"I don't remember."

"That's good."

"Thank you for helping me."

"Sure, no problem."

"No really, thank you."

"No trouble at all."

"Sheldon?"

"Yes, Amy?"

"Get off."

"Oh, sorry." Sheldon sat up on the side of the bed and straighten out his robe. "Do you want some tea, or just something?"

"No, I think I should try and get back to sleep. I think having 3 glasses of wine tonight upset me. I should know better."

"Yes, I've heard that strong emotional tension and/or the use of alcohol can increase the incidence of night terrors among adults."

"Well, I don't think it was a night terror, or I wouldn't be talking right now, but it was, as you say, a "doosy of a nightmare". How do you know about night terrors?"

"I looked into them before our Valentines' train trip. I wanted to be prepared if you needed anything."

"That was very thoughtful of you, Sheldon."

"Yes, well. I wanted to make sure you were comfortable."

"Well, I am better now, you can go to bed. "

"If you don't mind, I would like to stay here and make sure you get back to sleep. I won't be able to sleep worrying about you."

"Oh Sheldon, don't worry, I will call you if I need you. You can go to bed. You're not expected to…"

"I know it's not expected, I want to..."

"Okay, thank you Sheldon." Amy turned on her side, trying to sleep. It wasn't too difficult, even with Sheldon watching her; she was exhausted from her day and the wine. She was able to relax now; she felt better. Sheldon watched her sleep until he heard her heavy breathing. He lightly brushed back her hair and He slowly leaned over, kissed her on head and went to his room.

After he kissed her, he felt more calm, and he was able to sleep now as well.

...

Next morning, Sheldon was up at his usual time. Amy's was up a short time later, looking worse for wear.

"Good Morning, Amy, did you sleep better after your ordeal?"

"Yes, but I really need to **_not_ **match Penny drink for drink. I thought since I didn't have to drive, I could have an extra couple glasses… UUGGG. Bad Idea. I need coffee and to wait for death's sweet embrace...Why do I smell eggs?"

"I fixed breakfast, I thought you might need something to eat. I heard eggs are good hangover food."

"WOW, these are really good!"

"I did an experiment a while back where I sought to find the perfect Scrambled egg. This is the result of exhaustive research, trial and error, Enjoy."

"WOW, you have the consistency and texture perfect. Forget about Physics you need to be a cook!"

"Well, some cooking is Chemistry at least. But I could never forget about Physics. I can't forget about anything." He looked at her softly during the last thought.

" Oh I know, you need to put this in the Roommate agreement…" her voice trailed off as she remembered, she was leaving on Sunday. Her week was up. She had decided that she couldn't be with Sheldon anymore, it was too painful. She was going to tell him on Saturday, during the Roommate meeting.

"Speaking of Roommate agreements, you said we could have our meeting on Saturday, why not tonight?"

"I am busy tonight. But yes, we need to have a meeting. Saturday is closest I can do."

"Then Saturday it is." Sheldon was dying to ask her what she was doing tonight. He knew better though, she seemed to be agitated when he pried in her schedule. He resolved to tread lightly.

"I better get ready for work. I have to leave early from work today, so you can get a ride home?"

"I'm sure Leonard would be wiling." It was killing him, what was she doing tonight?

He cleaned the kitchen while she got ready. He loved hearing her blow dryer for some reason, a calming white noise. There was a knock at the door just before they were about to leave.

"Delivery for Dr. Fowler, Here you go."

More flowers, this time, a dozen yellow roses and yet another one, from a different florist that was left at the door. Amy quickly took the card and put them in her purse. Sheldon managed to see one of the cards, "Love Steve" was all he caught before she whisked it out of sight.

"It's beginning to look like Descanso Gardens in here." Sheldon really wanted to know who sent all these flowers and why they kept coming. _Where they from the same man? Were some from Wil Wheaton, Stuart, the REPAIR MAN? AND Who the hell is Steve?_

On their way to work, Sheldon was nervous, he tried to engage Amy in Fun Facts and other car games, but he really wanted ask about Steve. Amy seemed distracted.

"Amy, you seem to have a lot on your mind."

"Yes, I do Sheldon, sorry. I am trying to work something out in my head."

"Perhaps I can assist you. Does it have to do with Steve?"

"No Sheldon, it does not. And I would thank you not to pry into my personal affairs. I have to work this out on my own."

_Personal Affairs?!_ He should have listened when he told himself _to tread lightly_. So much for fixing things. Not another word was spoken on the way to work.


	13. Chapter 13

_**Le Chatelier's principle also states that when there is an external constraint on a system, a behavioural shift in the system occurs so as to annul the effect of that change. **_

Sheldon could focus but just not on work. He cognitive resources were spent on Amy. He needed her, more than anything. But how to get her back? He never signed the termination of the Relationship agreement, so TECHNCIALLY, they weren't broken up. He couldn't play that card. It was clear that he had broken up with her for his own selfish reasons. Did he need her back for the same?

Lost in thought, he stared at his white board. He drew out "what if" scenarios for all possible answers from Amy. Yes, she'd take him back. No, she would not live with him; Yes, she'd live with him; no, she would not take him back. It was driving Sheldon mad; almost as mad as wondering who Steve was? He asked around, (as best he could with looking like a complete stalker). No one knew who Steve was, not even Penny, who did not appreciate being texted at 9:00am after her girl's night debauchery. After a grueling lunch with Wolowitz who continued to razz Sheldon about Amy's possible late night dalliances, he returned to his white board. Raj came to check on him.

"Hello Koothropoli, come to gloat like Howard and talk more about Amy's "shtupping" and what not!"

"No, Sheldon, no I'm not. and I dont think Amy is "shtupping" anything, whatever that is. I am just here to check on you."

"That is kind of you, I'm surprised."

"Why, I am nice guy! Everyone knows it..."

"Yes you are, but I am not. I'm really not worthy of your concern." Sheldon feeling sorry for himself was odd, and disturbingly uncomfortable.

"I'm here for Amy as well. I know you are going to screw this up, Sheldon. You need to turn off the Sheldon part of your brain and just figure out what you feel."

"Turning off my Sheldon brain is a little hard when it is my Brain, Raj…Really?"

"Sheldon, you have spent years denying your emotions, suppressing them. You only make major decision when there is shock to your system. You never really understand your actions. You need to face what you have done, and deal with that, not what you are going to do."

"I need to get Amy back, that is what I am going to do."

"Yes, but why?"

"Why, what do you mean, why? I need her."

"Yes, obviously. Anyone can see that. But do you love her?"

"What kind of asinine question is that? I need her, isn't that the same thing?"

"Sheldon, they are not the same thing. You need her, she helps you, she understands you. But she did that before and you rejected her. Now you have to decide if you love her. That's what you should discover, maybe not today, but soon. "

Raj left, and Sheldon returned to his white board. He needs Amy, isn't that enough? But now he has her, as a roommate, but its not enough. He doesn't want her with other men. But does that mean he loves her? He doesn't want to be without her in his life? Does that mean he loves her? He enjoys spending time with her and looks forward to their time together. Does that mean he loves her? He thought he did, but Sheldon could honestly say he didn't know. He had no frame of reference for these emotions. It's a long road to love without a map.

Back at 4A, Amy came home earlier than Sheldon. She had precious little time before she was going to get picked up. Tonight was a very important night. Her hair appointment took longer than she had anticipated. She still needed to put on hose and makeup. While she was in the bathroom, she heard the front door, Sheldon was home. He and Leonard had Chinese food. Sheldon knocked his ritual knock on the bathroom door, "Amy we got Chinese food for you, are you hungry?"

"I'm Sorry, I am going to eat elsewhere." She was starving, but she had to wait, she would eat tonight.

Sheldon heard a knock at the front door, _More Flowers he thought_. Instead of a delivery man, Raj was there, with a garment bag in his hand. "Emily asked me to drop off this dress for Amy."

"What for?" A confused Sheldon blurted out.

"She didn't say. She has shoes too. I guess they worked all this out on girls night. I try to stay out of it, man."

Leonard shook his head, don't look at me, man. Penny and I haven't been talking too much since Zack-gate."

Amy ran out of the bath room, half dressed in robe. "Thank you Raj!" Before Sheldon could ask what was going on, she was gone, back in the bathroom.

"Wonder what's up?" Leonard was as confused as Raj and Sheldon.

They sat on the couch and ate dinner; Raj now able to eat Amy's serving.

There was another knock at the door. "Union Station!" Sheldon huffed as he got up to answer the door, expecting more flowers.

Instead, he was met by a handsomely dressed man, tall and thin like Sheldon, except sandy brown hair and green eyes.

"Hello, I'm here to pick up Amy Fowler." His accent sounded Scottish.

Sheldon stepped back, a lump in his throat. "She's in the back, and you are?"

"Dr. Steve Stewart."

"Dr. of what?"

"Neurobiology, oh there you are Amy."

Sheldon turned around, there stood Amy, vision of grace. She was wearing an avocado green chiffon dress, with drop earrings. Her hair was up and flawless. Her eyes, highlighted by the dress, were sparkling through the smoky technique. She was stunning. Sheldon lost his breath.

"Hello Steven, are you ready to go?" Amy didn't want to look at Sheldon. She couldn't see him gasping at her.

"Yes, we should go, it's a long way to Westwood and it starts at 7."

"Good bye everyone."

They closed the door with a click that echoed through the room. Sheldon stood in same spot, unable to move, eye darting around like he was working on a formula for cold fusion. Leonard and Raj were speechless, unable to vocalize what had just happened, or it might make Sheldon break. After about 5 minutes, Leonard finally said something.

"Hey, you okay buddy? I'm sorry, I had no idea."

"Me neither dude. I'm so sorry." Raj added.

"He said Westwood…"

"Yeah, so…." _Where is he going with this?_

"That means UCLA, it has to mean UCLA!"

"Dude, there is a ton of stuff in Westwood, they could be going anywhere." Raj didn't want to seem negative, but Westwood was pretty popular spot on the weekends.

"No, it has to be UCLA." He turns to Leonard " You **have** to take me."

"There is no way I'm taking you to break up Amy's _date_." Leonard snapped.

"I will." Raj stood up

"Great, let's go. "

"Wait, Raj, what are you doing, he's crazy now, who knows what he'll do."

"Yeah! _Crazy_ in love, I'm so in for this!" Raj and Sheldon ran out the door.

Raj had to take 110 south, to the 10 west, to 405 north, during rush hour traffic on some of the busiest freeways in LA county. It was torture for Sheldon, but he was quiet the entire drive, focused and silent.

Finally, the got off on Santa Monica blvd. Raj asked, "Why do you think she is going to UCLA?"

"She has to be going to an event, based off her dress and shoes. She hates shoes like that, she wouldn't wear them unless it was some demanding social protocol. It's Friday, there are events every Friday at UCLA, plays, concerts, etc. She has to be there."

"Okay dude, but which one?"

"We will have to figure it out." Sheldon had an unfounded sense of confidence. He knew he could find her.

They parked and went to the Student Union building to find out the events:

There was a concert in the Bunche Hall, given by the ethnomusicology department. _**Love and Rhymes. Passion beats to embody a Passionate Beast. **_

A lecture in Haines Hall, _**Called "The Whore and the Rebel, Prostitution and Rebellion in France from 1786 to 1791"**_

In the Powell Library there was a performance: _**The Ciotus Conundrum : A sexploitation of human bonding through interpretive dance.**_

"Dude, these events sound _awesome_! Sheldon, where are you?" Raj declared.

Sheldon was walking fast up the long stairs to the Powell Library. Sheldon noticed a large group filing into Royce Hall, the building across from Powell. He walked toward the doors.

"Where are you going, we don't even know what's even in there… Sheldon!" Raj words fell on deaf eyes. Sheldon was already in the door.

A large sign on an easel showed the event:

**_University of California Chancellor Award for Excellence in Neurobiology : Honoring Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler, Dr Steve Stewart and Dr. Manish Gupta for their work in discovering Micro RNA molecules affecting Addiction._**

There was Amy's Journal article from Neuron, blown up with her face in the corner. She was the lead researcher, and had to give a speech. Sheldon and Raj took some empty seats in the back row, just as they announced her award. As everyone was clapping, Raj leaned to Sheldon and asked, "Why didn't' she tell anyone?"

"Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler does not need praise, or the admonishment from her peers".

"She may not need it, but she probably wants it."

Sheldon leaned forward in his seat, his head rested on his armed crossed on the chair in front of him. He wanted to soak in her glory. No wonder she had been so distracted. She had to address a crowd of over 200 people. Sheldon would have been screaming in fear or drunk, dropping his pants, but she was the pillar of grace.

Amy spoke, _"Fellow colleagues and esteemed guests. I would like to thank the Board of Regents for this high honor on behalf of my colleagues from the study, Dr. Steven Stewart and Dr. Manish Gupta. They have allowed me to speak with you and represent our team. …_

Sheldon listened to her speech like it was a symphony and he had never heard music before. He hung on every phase, every inflection.

… _It was during my youth that I found my interest in biology. Later, while navigation the complexities of social interactions and the emotional pitfalls of high school and college, I discovered an interest in Neuroscience. IT is __**not**__ our understanding of the brain that drives my passion, but lack of it. The complexities and intricacies of human development, cognitive processes and even emotional motivations are the driving focuses of my research. I hope to gain a greater understanding and discover new questions and with help, the answers. I want to thank again the Regents…._

Sheldon was in awe of this woman standing before him: Brilliant, beautiful, able to vocalize vulnerability and strength with the same voice. She was perfection. He didn't need her, he wanted her. He wanted every minute of his life to be with her.

Raj spoke, "She's stunning."

Sheldon didn't hear him, he didn't have to. He sighed and said "I want to marry that woman, if it takes me to my last breath; I want to win her back."

Sheldon focus on Amy was broken by the roar of applause. As she made her way through the crowd, shaking hands and saying thank you, she thought she saw a man in the back row, Red shirt with a yellow logo and beige jacket, heading out the door.


	14. Chapter 14

**_Author notes: I want to thank ChaliceInnana for the suggestion for this chapter. This chapter was strikingly different and required at least 2 boxes of Kleenex before her review. Now, it's a little more fun, a little less dramatic and little softer on Sheldon. Just one box of kleenex. Thanks again!_**

**_Effect of adding an inert gas_**

**_An inert gas (or noble gas) such as helium is one that does not react with other elements or compounds. Adding an inert gas into a gas-phase equilibrium at constant volume does not result in a shift._**

On their way back to the car at UCLA, Raj was the first to speak. "I still can't believe she didn't tell anyone about that award. That is a seriously big deal, dude."

"I know. Like I said, Amy doesn't need the admonishment of her peers, however... Raj! We need to get Helium."

"Dude, you've really lost it."

"Indeed Raj, but I will deal with that later. No, we need helium for Balloons!. Send out the rallying cry! Let's throw Amy a Small social gathering."

"Sheldon, you hate parties."

"It's not a party, it's a _small social gathering_. It's not about me, it's about Amy. I'll call Leonard and Penny, you call Howard and that red head of yours."

"Should we call Wil Wheaton?" Raj added snarky.

"If we must... But not that Bert guy! Damn rock monkey!"

"We have to stop by trader Joe's and get food... Ooooh, they have best crab cakes, and this..." Sheldon cut him off.

"RAJ! The menu is not as important as the guest list. Make haste!"

"Aye, aye Captain."

"Who's Captain clueless now, huh?" Sheldon called Penny, who called Leonard, or called Wil Wheaton, who called Stuart. By the time Raj and Sheldon were at Los Robles, the party... small social gathering... was in full effect.

Amy's flowers were all over the apartment. Helium balloons were floating around loose. Bernie had made a quick Banner and Howard had rigged the sound system to play Ode to Joy when Amy came in. Sheldon thought it was over the top, but he allowed it. Everyone dressed up to match Amy's attire. Sheldon put on his plaid suit that Amy seemed to like him to wear. At the last-minute, Sheldon did ask Raj about Romantic gestures, but they both agreed: A _tiara_ is hard to beat.

Sheldon was pacing back and forth, wearing a path in the hard wood floors. He still wasn't sure about Scottish Steve. Sure, he was her colleague, but that guy looked _shifty_. Sheldon had to make sure there was no monkey business, so to speak...

He went to the window and back to the couch, waiting for the limo to pull back up. Finally, at 8:30, she arrived. Scottish Steve walked her up the stairs. "Thank you for walking me up. It was a nice ceremony. "

"It's a pleasure. You did the department proud. It is a shame you are leaving UCLA. We will miss you. Have a good night. He gave her a friendly side hug and a peck on the cheek while she opened the door. "

"Surprise!"

Amy couldn't believe her eyes: All her friends, cheering for her. She didn't want to make a big deal about her award, especially to Sheldon. But everyone was there, everyone she loved.

She was thrilled! Scottish Steve came in and was introduced to all her friends. He took a shine to Emily, which kept Raj on his toes all night. Sheldon thought, "_See, it's not just me. That guy is shifty."_

Sheldon stayed in the corner of the room, watching her talk, laugh, interweave herself in social interactions he could never navigate. Sheldon should have known about her award, he should have cared. He was too busy worrying about his living arrangements to ask her how she was doing. And while she was talking to him on the road, trying to be supportive, she worked on her research. When she was getting published, he was on some train, boring her with details of rail history she probably didn't care about. While she was dealing with the break up, moving in, suffering through his mistake, she found the time to work on her speech. She didn't need to deny her feelings or suppress her emotional entanglements to be successful. Now Sheldon felt small, unworthy of her. He had to make up for his mistake, somehow. All he could do now is watch her, in awe.

Amy made her way to Emily and Penny, who were trying to avoid Scottish Steve's lustful leer.

"You had to work with that guy?" Penny was used to the attention.

"Yes, but I was his boss. However, I think he liked me telling him what to do a little too much."

"There is someone else who might like it, too." Penny tipped her glass toward Sheldon who was talking with Wil Wheaton and Stuart.

"Oh I don't know about that. Sheldon is pretty bossy. I often thought if we were ever going to be intimate, he would be a dominant lover. "

"You know, as much I don't want to think about that. I mean I _really, really don't want to think about that, _I can see it." Penny didn't like thinking about Sheldon that way.

"Well, it will never happen anyway, I know that now." She sat straight to shake off the disappointment. " Listen, I can't thank you guys enough for this party."

They both said, "Small social gathering…"

"Yes!" She laughed. "It was very thoughtful."

"Amy, we didn't' put this party together. I thought you wanted to keep your award on the DL."

"DL?"

"Down low, you know. A secret. I didn't even tell Leonard. This was all Sheldon, honey."

"No way, Sheldon hates parties… Whatever..Sheldon wouldn't do this."

"Well he did. Even let Raj do all the food. Raj called me like a school girl and had me meet them at Trader Joe's. It was all him. Maybe you're right, he's not so stupid after all." Emily smiled.

"I better go thank him, he is being a good friend."

Amy was working her way over to Sheldon, when she was caught by Wil Wheaton.

"Amy, I must say, you look stunning tonight, just stunning."

"Well, thank you Wil, that's very kind of you."

"I heard from Sheldon that this is quite an achievement. Congratulations."

"Well, Sheldon wouldn't think so, it is in Neurobiology. He thinks that's icky squishy things, as he likes to say."

"Well, he won't shut up about it, or you. I had to make some excuse to get away or he would still be gushing over you. Sounds like you're quite a lady, congratulations again." He gave her another kiss on the cheek and went to get a glass of wine.

Amy didn't see Sheldon huff up and shoot Wil Wheaton a death stare. Amy again tried to get to Sheldon, this time stopped by Stuart.

"Wow, Amy, I just have to say, you look dynamite."

"Well, thank you Stuart. That's very kind."

"Yes, well, I just heard from Sheldon, Chancellor Award huh? Did you get money with that too? He said it was a big deal."

"Well, no money, but it might lead to other things. My research is getting noticed. It is nice to have some acknowledgement of it. I've been working on it for a few years now."

"Well, too bad you didn't get some monetary award, but praise it good. Sheldon said your article was on the cover of a magazine? Cool!"

"I didn't know he knew about that." Amy hadn't seen the journal in a few days. Sheldon must have picked it up.

"Oh, god, it's like the Amy Farrah Fowler Channel over there. He is really proud of you. He's really a lucky guy." Stuart looked down, forgetting they had broken up until he saw Amy's sad face.

"Well, I didn't think he thought so."Amy's voice trailed off as she looked at Sheldon. He was talking to Howard and Bernie, except he wasn't listening. He was watching her, not her and Stuart. Not her and Wil. Just her. He smiled when she got his eyes. "If you'll excuse me."

Raj came up to her now, drunk by this point."Amy, what's with Scottish Steve. That guy is shifty. He is hitting on my red-headed goddess, and this brazen insult cannot be tolerated." Poor Raj.

"Rajesh, Steve is harmless. Besides, I know Emily wont cheat on you. All she does it talk about you. Anyone who talks that much about someone must be in love." As the words left her lips, she looked at Sheldon, hoping for the truth in what she said.

"You think she loves me? Oh Amy, I am going to ask her marry me tonight!"

"Raj wait, not tonight. Wait till you're sober. It will mean more. You're so Romantic Raj, you need time to plan. When you do ask her, it will be breath-taking! "

"Amy you're so smart." Raj took another quick drink. " No wonder Sheldon needs you. He says your only one who can understand him." After another drink, Raj puffed himself up, "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a woman to guard."

Amy thought, sure Sheldon needed her, but he didn't want her. Not in the way she wanted him. Her pain from the break up was masking her ability to see Sheldon trying to love her. She was feeling sorry for herself and needed someone to snap her out of her moody self obsession. The best person for that job, unfortunately was Amy herself.

Then it was Leonard's turn to congratulate Amy. "Amy." He looked at her, put his finger under his mouth, it had a moustache drawn on it." Here is a conversational Icebreaker." They both laughed.

"Good for you Leonard, you are considerably less moody since that wedding."

"I'm not the moody one lately." Leonard looked at Sheldon across the room. "Listen Ames, I have to tell you, he has been devastated by this break up."

"I haven't seen it. He seems happy with our current relationship parameters. I'll tell you Leonard, I think this was a big mistake. Even if Sheldon does want to be with me, it is only because he needs **anyone**, not me. This week, I had planned to talk to him, work things out. When I spoke to you and Penny last week, that was a front. I really am devastated too. I 've been hiding it all week."

Leonard knew Amy was dying inside this week. He saw both his friends hurt by Sheldon selfish actions. It was hard to witness.

"You know he doesn't have the emotion capital to handle things."

"Yes, but I don't think he ever will. He doesn't want to change. I will try and remain his friend, and help him. But waiting and hoping for him to love me back, it's futile. " Leonard wanted to say more, but Scottish Steve came up to Amy.

"You know, Boss, I've been thinking…" He put he hand on her waist, " You are not my boss anymore. That is an exciting development, dont ya think?"

Amy carefully removed her hand as if it was a dirty sock. "I am thrilled we won't have to work together anymore."

Howard and Bernie were talking to Sheldon. When Steve had his hands on Amy's waist, it was the opportunity Howard had been waiting for: He pressed play on his Iphone, and Beyonce's "Single ladies" starting playing. Sheldon shot Howard a look, then headed over to Amy.

"Howie, that's mean. Play nice. Here's Amy…" Bernie whispered something to Howard.

"Hello everyone. Thank you so much for the party, Sheldon." He just smiled, not knowing how to respond.

"Small social gathering." Howard and Bernie added.

"And thanks for displaying all my congratulation flowers arrangements and the balloons are great too. I love balloons!"

"Indeed." Sheldon took a tiny bow and nodded.

Just then, a clearly drunk Scottish Steve came up and put his arm around Amy, "Well, it's very nice _**indeed**_. When Amy told me she didn't tell anyone about her award, I thought she was daff. Something to do with your ex, right lass?"

Amy didn't look at Sheldon, he was looking down. He wanted to kick that Scottish bastard so hard he never wear a kilt again, but he had to keep it together, for Amy's sake.

Howie piped up "Steve, let's get you back to that Limo, I think the car service is only to 9:00pm." I'll help you get down stairs buddy." He wanted to get him out of Sheldon's house and in some way, make up for teasing Sheldon so much. It was the least he could do. Also, Bernadette told him to do it. Howard looked back at Sheldon who mouthed, "THANK YOU."

While, everyone else was laughing and joking, having a wonderful time with their friends, Sheldon watched Amy and Howard from the window. Amy walked Steve down to the Limo, and poured him into the seat. She felt responsible for him since she was once his superior. Truth was, he was ruining the party hitting on everyone, and she was embarrassed. "Well, Dr. Folwer, I would certainly enjoy this ride more with you in here."

"Yeah, that's not happening Steve. Take him back to Alhambra, here is the address. Good Night Steve."

Before Amy and Howard returned, Howard asked Amy, "So, what's with that guy? You guys going to go out?"

"Oh god, no. He is a colleague. And frankly, Dr Gupta and I had to carry his weight on the team. Despite his Doctorate, he is surprisingly unintelligent. That is the definition of _not sexy_."

"Well, if intelligence is the definition of sexy for you, Dr. Sheldon Cooper must be a beast." Howard was trying to help Sheldon out in his own way.

"Yes, he was…" Amy couldn't say more. She quietly went back to the party. When she returned Amy looked out of the party. Howie went straight to Bernadette and kissed her on the hand, the returning hero. Raj and Emily were dancing slow. Leonard was behind Penny, rocking her back and forth. Amy saw all her friends with their lovers. Her envious stares were unknowingly matched by Sheldon. Amy worked her way to Sheldon's side who was waiting for her.

"Your date left in a hurry." Sheldon swallowed hard saying the words.

"He's not my date. The university sent a car to pick us up. He was on the team I ran at UCLA."

"Good, I'm glad he is gone… uh, I mean, it's getting late."

"Yes, per Roommate guidelines, I assume this gathering will be over at 9:45?"

"Whenever you wish."

"Wow, Sheldon, that is very… flexible.. of you." Amy was shocked.

"Well, it was the only present I could do on such short notice. And it is not much of a present, since we can negotiate the roommate agreement at any time, and I settle all ties."

"Well, thank you. I will probably go to bed soon anyway. It has been an exhausting week." In more way than one, she thought.

"Amy, first I want to say congratulation on your award. It is quite an achievement, and I should have known or at least asked about it. "

"I kept it quiet because I didn't want to brag about my achievements when you were suffering with your decision to switch fields. It seemed, inappropriate. "

This took Sheldon a step back. He would have never done that. Never. "Thank you, yet again for putting my feelings above your needs. That was very thoughtful of you. But you need to stop."

"Stop what?"

"Stop putting my feelings before yours. I can't compete. "

"Sheldon, it's not a contest…"

"You are the strongest person I know, Amy. I am the one who is weak. I need to work on so many things. I have suppressed my emotions to the point I cannot recognize hurt verse regret, Love verse want or need. My brain doesn't work that way, but I want to work on it. If I may paraphrase, " It is not our understanding of the brain that drives my passion, but lack of it. The complexities and intricacies of human development, cognitive processes even emotional motivations are going to be the driving focus of my relationship with you, if you'll allow me to still be your friend. ""

"You came to my presentation? That is from my speech!"

"You were brilliant. I would like to say I am proud of you, but pride requires some sense that I had something to do with it. So, I would just like to say, I am happy for you, Amy. You deserve all the awards you can muster, and some yet unnamed ones for dealing with stupid ex boyfriends/roommates."

"You're not stupid! You're an idiot. But certainly not stupid!" She smiled, the habit of defending him was an emotional reflex response. It would be a hard habit to break.

"Well, that's kind of you. You're a good friend. " Sheldon looked out over the crowd again. All his friends were laughing and joking, showing affection for each other. He wanted to hold her now, but he gave up the right to almost 7 days ago. Sheldon didn't know how to show affection without the parameters of the relationship agreement. In front of everyone, he couldn't express his feelings. He thought it would be inappropriate. He was wrong, but there was no one to tell him.

"Yes, I am a good **_friend_**. An exhausted one." She smiled a weighted grin. She didn't want to be a friend to him, she wanted him to love her. " I think I will say my goodnights now. I am sorry to cut the gathering short. Please excuse me." She couldn't be with him anymore and not love him. She had to get away.

After saying her goodbyes and thanks, everyone left the "small social gathering" and went to Penny's to finish the _party_. They all thought Amy and Sheldon were going to talk so they made a hasty retreat. They were all wrong.

Amy quietly said good night to Sheldon, went to her room. What should she do? Sheldon seemed fine with her as a roommate. He wasn't upset about their break up, he just wanted to control who she dated. He was jealous, sure but that's not love. He wasn't in love with her. She was with him. More than she wanted to admit. He had hurt her, rejected her, and living with him was a constant reminder that he just wanted to have her as a friend. She caught a cry in her throat.

Before she went to bed, she packed up her things back in her suit cases and put them by the door. She would have Leonard help with her the Harp next week. She couldn't live with Sheldon, not as a friend. It was too painful. The experiment failed. She didn't want to wait for their Saturday meeting and even debated on leaving tonight. Her apartment was ready, she could move back home. It was so late, and she was exhausted. She washed the tears off her face and curled into bed.

Sheldon wanted to talk to her all night, wanted to hold her and tell her he loved her. He had to talk to her about the relationship agreement. Maybe she would listen. He had to try:

_Knock, knock, knock "Amy"_

_Knock, knock, knock "Amy"_

_Knock, knock, knock "Amy"_

_"Amy, I would like to talk to you about the agreement, if you're not too tired." _

"Sheldon, I will not talk to you tonight. Not tonight. I promise tomorrow. I will talk to you. I promise. But tonight, I need to sleep, I can't think. I can't fight about Roommate agreements. I can't right now."

"Please forgive my assumptions. I'm sorry Amy, of course we can talk tomorrow. I shouldn't have pushed you. "

With a short laugh and a side smile she thought, ""_Shouldn't have pushed you…"_ Where have I heard that before?"

Sheldon went to his room. He wanted to rip the dry wall open that separated their rooms away from the studs, pull her into his arms and hold her. He had to give her space. He didn't deserve to make demands. He had to do _something_.

He did what he knew best: He took a notebook out and starting writing with a fury and a purpose like he had poured into M Theory, the graphene problem or any other mystery of the universe. After he reviewed what he wrote, he felt better, more content and more focused than he had in months.


	15. Chapter 15

_**For a dynamic equilibrium to be set up, the rates of the forward reaction and the back reaction have to become **__EQUAL__**.**_

**_Where a shock initially induces positive feedback (such as thermal runaway), the new equilibrium can be far from the old one, and can take a long time to reach._**

Next morning was Saturday. Sheldon normally would pour his cereal and start Doctor Who. This Saturday, he sat quietly on the couch waiting for her; the TV remained off. He had three things on the table. The roommate agreement, the relationship termination notice and his notebook.

Finally, Amy awoke. Her hair was still curly from the night before but her face was clean of the makeup. She quietly walked to the kitchen and started the coffee.

"Good morning Amy, did you sleep well?"

"Yes I did, thank you." She lied. She was doing that a lot lately.

"Do you want me to fix you some eggs?"

She didn't answer at first. "... No, no eggs… I'm not hungry."

Sheldon was on his feet now, in the kitchen, "Are you awake enough for our meeting?" He had been waiting for days to talk to her. He couldn't wait much more.

"Sheldon, there really is nothing to talk about… "

"1st roommate meeting of one Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler and Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper is called to order."

"What Sheldon, what do you want, please I don't want to have a meeting…"

"First and only order of business: **Section 5 subparagraph D**. _When there is something broken in the apartment, regardless of the cause, it is the duty of both parties to repair it."_

"Is it the damn thermostat? Look Sheldon, I never touch that thing…"

"It's not the thermostat…"

"There was a scuff in floor when I got here, it had to Leonard!"

"I only used the toaster once; I swear it was on the fritz before I got here."

"What's wrong with…Never mind..It's not the toaster!…"

"Well, what is it?"

"It's Us."

"Us? What do you mean?"

"I'm sorry, Amy. I broke "US." And I need your help to fix it."

"Oh, Sheldon I don't know if I can do that…" She turned away from him.

"Amy please, I just need a few minutes. "

They sat on the couch. Sheldon took a deep breath…

"Amy, you are by far, the most generous person I have ever met. You have the patience of Job with me. There has probably been countless ways you have thought of me, done things for me that I have never been aware of. I don't deserve it, Amy. "

"Well, I did it because… " Her voice fell silent. It seemed pointless to say it now.

"I know, you loved me. I screwed up, Amy. I threw that away. It is the biggest mistake I have made, bigger than misreading a table in a book, or getting drunk and acting a fool, or fainting before Steven Hawking. It is a mistake and I don't think I will ever recover from it. But I want to make amends to you, at least. I just don't know how. I really don't Amy. How do I take away your pain, your hurt? Please, tell me Amy , if you can do just one more thing for me, just one. Please tell me how I can make you stop hurting. Please, because I will do it. Whatever it is. You deserve that, Amy. I don't deserve you, but you deserve that, at least…" Sheldon put his head in hands, fighting back emotion.

Then he felt it, her hands, on his. A gentle timid touch that said even in this moment, she couldn't stop caring for him. She raised his head, and he saw her loving green eyes. He was in awe, how can she do this?

"Sheldon, when you sent the relationship termination notice, I knew it was just a reaction to change. You didn't know how to deal with your situation. Frankly, I was surprised you didn't send it in May. My awareness of your motivations does not detract from the pain it caused. You don't appreciate me, Sheldon. You ran away from us, and the hurt from that rejection was only masked by the fact that I thought you didn't know what you were doing. I agreed to move in here, to help you with your transition. "

"Again, you were thinking of…"

Amy said, softly, "Sheldon, sit down. Shhh… let me finish…" She started again, now holding his hand. "I don't know if it was the right decision, but I thought if you let me go, without another thought, you would regret it."

"I do regret it, with every ounce of my soul. Let me show you something…" He got up and got the relationship termination notice. " See, I couldn't even sign it. Even during my arrogant tantrum, I still couldn't let us go. You signed it because you thought it was** I needed**. The most unselfish act I have ever witnessed. I recognize that now. Selfishly, I didn't sign it because it was not what I wanted. I know it doesn't change anything, but I wanted you to see it."

Amy looked at the unsigned document understanding better than Sheldon ever could his own motivations.

"So what do you want now?" Amy looked to him, wanting him to admit some feelings.

"No! I will not tell you what I want. I want to know what _you_ want. What do _you_ want Amy? It's your turn. Tell me, please. "

Amy sat back, "What I want, and what can happen are two totally different things."

"Let's start with what you want, and go from there." Now Sheldon was holding her hand.

Amy let a big sigh, "If you would have asked me that a week ago, or 4 months ago, I would have said for you to be happy and for us to move forward in our relationship. That would have made me happy. In fact I was happy with how things were going. We were growing closer, you were showing more affection. I thought everything was working out well. "

Amy took a moment to gather her thoughts. "Now, honestly, I don't know. For you to throw away our relationship so callously, without a second thought, it gives me pause. I think I have been fooling myself, believing deep down that you had feelings for me, that you might even love me. I am fighting myself, fighting my instincts to run from you, let you falter and treat you how you have treated me. It is a tempting revenge fantasy."

"After our conflict over Raider's of the Lost Ark, you said couples don't do revenge, we should talk."

"Correct. I know that better than you. However, we aren't a couple, are we? Unfortunately for you, I know how to get to you. I know your buttons; I know what will set you off. I wanted to make you squirm. But I didn't. Well, I did a little."

"Yeah, just a little. That Scottish Steve guy sent me for a loop. You could have done so much more. I realize that now. " Sheldon smiled at her. "Back to you what you were saying . I sense a "however" Or at least I am hoping for one." Sheldon didn't want to interrupt, but he wanted desperately for her to qualify her remarks.

"Sheldon, you might have feelings for me, you might even love me. But you are never going to admit it, give in to, or allow it be a part of your life."

All the pain she'd been hiding all week came rushing out in a flood of emotions she couldn't stop. " I can't keep fooling myself. I can't… I have to leave now." She pulled her hands away, "I have to think. I can't look at you now. Please, I have to go." Amy ran out of the apartment, leaving Sheldon on the couch not knowing whether he should run after her or not.


	16. Chapter 16

**Author's notes: This is the end of the story, the reaction, so to speak. More could be told. I leave it to the readers to decide if there should be a chapter 17 and beyond. **

_**The law of conservation of mass dictates that the quantity of each element does not change in a chemical reaction. Thus, each side of the chemical equation must represent the same quantity of any particular element.**_

She was on the second stair well when he caught her, he grabbed her and pulled her close. She didn't cry in his arms. Instead, she stood still, a dead weight on him. He wasn't sure what to do. He didn't know what to say. All he knew was, he couldn't let her go.

"Amy, I know you don't want to live here anymore. I can see your suitcases and figure it out. I know you don't want to be friends anymore. You have been avoiding me all week. I know you don't want to be with me anymore. I have ruined that. Before you leave, before I never see you again, can I ask one thing of you?

"Or course, Sheldon." She let out a sigh, " What is it?" The finality of his statement cut her like a scalpel.

"Well, two things actually. First can you come back to the apartment just so I can ask you, please?"

"Okay… I forgot my purse anyway… Can't go home without my keys."

They made their way back to the apartment, Amy thought, for the last time. She knew this was the end.

He held the door open for her. They sat on the couch facing each other about to have a talk that was 7 days over due:

"Amy, thank you for coming back. I need two things. One, I want to ask you something, then I want to show you something."

He let a huge sigh, "First thing, I know you will probably not want to answer this, but can you tell me, how did you know that you loved me?"

"Oh, Sheldon, don't ask me that now…Please." She hid her pained eyes from him.

"Please Amy, I really need to know."

She sat back in the couch, and looked away from him, her hand on her head like trying to pull out a memory. "It started off slowly. I wanted to be with you. I missed you when you weren't there. I enjoyed our time together, and looked forward to it. Then, I became attracted to you physically, your eyes, your smell, your… " Amy became shy, " Your everything, I don't know. Then I kissed you, and it sparked something in me. I wanted more, but you were reluctant so we stayed friends. There was so much... But when I really knew I loved you , was when it became so clear I couldn't ignore it: It was when I couldn't see anything without you as a lens for my life. I am not strong enough to continue this but too weak to stop."

"I asked you that because I need a frame of reference in order to identify my feelings. Amy, now I would like to show you something. " He took his note book off the table. "I have been trying to figure out something. I have stated, on numerous occasions, that I am terrible at recognizing emotions. "

"I have written a proof, so to speak, if you could please read it."

Amy's looked his notebook. It filled for at least 50 pages with a list

_**How I feel about Amy Farrah Fowler:**_

I miss her when she is gone.

I love her laugh, her broad smile, crooked smirk.

I find her stories hilarious.

She infuriates me and excites me at the same time.

I love kissing her.

_Amy flipped the pages._

I feel better when she in the room.

I love how she argues and challenges me.

I need her to push me, drive me towards things I don't want, but need.

I need her near me when I am sad.

I love watching her dry her hair.

I love seeing her in the shower.

I want her close when she is sad.

I want to take care of her when she is sick.

I want to protect her from harm.

She makes me feel safe.

_At least 5 pages on her likes and dislikes_

I admire her.

I respect her.

When I eat brownies, I think of kissing her on the train.

I am better when she is with me.

I am lost when we are apart.

I want her to admire me, even if it is unwarranted.

Going to the zoo is not as fun without her

Going to the book store is not as fun without her.

Going out to eat is not fun without her.

_More pages about everything they did_

I love looking In her green eyes.

I feel warm when she is close.

I am in awe of patience, understanding, generosity.

I feel I can do anything if she is by my side.

I know that if we were together we would be unstoppable.

I would do anything not to see her cry.

_Amy couldn't help it. She started to cry._

"Didn't you read the part about the crying?"

"Yes, Sheldon, I read it." There were pages and pages of every little quirk, every memory, every time they were together. Each time she thought he wasn't paying attention , he was. Every time she wished he noticed her, every hope she had for their relationship was written in the list.

"Based off of these observations, I can only conclude that I am head of heels in love with you Amy. I love you more than I can analyze, more than I can comprehend or even vocalize. In my opinion, I have been in love with you quite a while, I just didn't know how to express it."

She looked at him, his eyes were glowing blue with love, but worry. " So, the last question I have for you is, given this new information, if I have irrevocably harmed our chances to ever be together, how can I recover from this? Because, I don't think I can Amy. I know it is selfish question, but you have strength, Amy. A strength that allows you to put your feelings aside for love. I need to know how to get that place. Because, if you are _better_ without me…"

He took a deep breath, and tried to continue his voice shaking in his throat, "If you are _better_ without me, I need to know because I need to give that to you. I don't know how, but I need to give that to you. You did it for it for me. I need that strength Amy…" He moved back in his seat, looked away from her, his hand on his mouth as if it could hold back his emotion. "But, I don't know if I can do it."

Amy jumped off her seat, moved to him kneeling on the floor so to face him. She put her hand on his knees. "Sheldon, look at me." He grabbed her lifted her up to him, holding her so close while he shook from emotion.

Amy held him, letting him get out all the emotions he had been hiding. She moved her hands to his face, brushed a tear off his cheek, while she smiled sweetly at him.

"Sheldon, I am not better without you. I can prove it. When you sent me that termination notice, it shattered me. I tried to think pragmatically, but I couldn't . I had a plan to make you see what you were missing this week; make you squirm. I wanted to help you with your transition from living without Leonard sure, but I also wanted you to see what you were missing. Frankly, it was juvenile."

"Well, it worked. I squirmed most of the week, truthfully."

"Well, this week was hell for me. I started feeling sorry for myself, couldn't even enjoy the party you gave me. This is not the Amy Farrah Fowler I want to be. I am not better without you, I am petty and small. "

"Because of what **_I did_**." Sheldon looked away from her, washed in guilt.

"Yes, it is true. The worst part about your termination notice is that you broke what was the best about us: Communication. All of our friends have been trying to talk to us about OUR relationship. YOU AND I should have been the ones talking. We were living together, and we didn't talk. Petty is not in our quiver of tricks. We are better together. WE are smarter, we are stronger, we are, as you say, Unstoppable."

"I always thought that we had the strongest, most stable of our friend's relationships."

"We did."

"Can you forgive me for what I did? It that possible? I don't even know I can forgive me."

"Yes, I can, but we have to work together Sheldon. We have a good foundation, but we have to grow."

"Amy, I would like do something, give me a moment." He reached over to the coffee table, grabbed the relationship agreement termination notice and ripped it in half.

She grabbed his hands, "No. Sheldon that's not going to work. We have to have a new agreement. One that we both work on. I haven't forgotten WHY you broke up with me. You were overwhelmed by expectations. Expectations of affection, and you didn't know how to deal with feelings. If we are going to move forward. You have to deal with feelings, emotions and yes, affection. "

"That is why I need you, I don't know how to deal with them. They make me feel unbalanced."

"Well, I can try and help you reach balance and equilibrium. You know your chemistry: Where a shock initially induces positive feedback, the new equilibrium can be different than the old one, and can take a long time. This new relationship we will have will be different. It will be a change in your status quo. You ran away from that before. You rejected it. How can I know you won't do that again?" Now it was Amy's turn to look away, she has never made the demands on him before. Sheldon Cooper scares easily. Wasn't that what he's freak-out in May was all about. If she didn't tell him the truth of her expectations, she wasn't being honest.

Sheldon took both of her hands, rubbed them for a few moments and looked at her. He finally spoke.

"Amy, I ran away from you because I was scared. But this week, hell this _summer_, has taught me that not losing you is worth the cost of being scared. Do you know anything about economic theory? You see…"

They said it at the same time, "The opportunity cost was the value of the best alternative forgone"

"Yeah, Sheldon I know a little bit about economic theory…" She had to laugh at the irony. He smiled at her with love. Knowing they were on the same wavelength again both excited and calmed him at the same time.

"I never want to lose you again, Amy. Not because of anything or anyone, even myself."

"Ok." Amy smiled.

"Just to be clear, we are going to be back together?" SHeldon asked while looking down.

"Yes."

"I am going to make mistakes."

"I know, you will. Will you let me tell you when you do?"

"Yes. In our new Relationship Agreement there will be a "My boyfriend is an idiot, section. Along with appropriate punishments."

"You're not into getting spanked, are you?"

"Well, not getting them, but…" He smirked at her. "I'm sure you can come up with something."

"This is going to be hard, Sheldon, I wont lie. You think I know so much about relationships, but I really don't. I just followed my instincts. I am just as clueless as you."

"Well, I am Captain Clueless. And besides, I trust your instincts. I love you, Dr. Fowler."

"I love you too, Dr. Cooper."

"I need to do something now as well," Amy picked up the Roommate Agreement and ripped it up.

"Amy! You're not going to be my Roommate? I thought we were going to work things out." Sheldon was crushed.

"We are, as boyfriend and girlfriend, not as Roommates. You need time, Sheldon. Trust me. I am not going anywhere. But, moving in is too soon after what happened."

"I really like you here."

"I like it here too, but it is too soon."

"I make great eggs."

"I'll come over for breakfast."

"You smell nice, you're a great roommate. I don't want to be away from you."

"We will work up to it."

"I bought all that Shampoo…"

"It'll keep."

"Okay, you're the boss."

"Well, for this part anyway. Other things, I rather you were."Amy sly smile intrigued Sheldon.

"Like what?"

"We can talk about that later."

He pulled her to him, shyly looked at her and kissed her. In that moment, Sheldon felt balance come back to him, it calmed his worries, his doubts. He knew he could do anything, if she was with him. He pulled away from her to look at her again, checking if it was real. She fell into his arms as she never had before and as if she had never left. They sat their content, knowing that they were each other's strength.

"Sheldon?"

"Yes, Amy?"

"Ummm, what was that part in your list about me in the shower?"

"Uh, Oh….Well…."


	17. Chapter 17

Silence Falls. Except this wasn't a Doctor Who episode. It was Sheldon's apartment: Without Amy. It was complete silence. Amy had left about 32 minutes earlier. Sheldon sat on his spot, his hand on sofa cushion next to his spot, hoping the warm feeling wouldn't fade, but it did. He tried to get her to stay; he did his best puppy dog eyes, he outlined all the arguments why they should stay roommates. Nothing. Amy would not budge. She was as stubborn as he was. Her resolve was so intoxicating to him, but infuriating.

It was another change again, living on his own. This change, he can safely say, he hated more than all the others. He almost had his girlfriend back, but it was back to status quo, like it was before he left in a snit 4 months' earlier. 45 minutes earlier she was there.

He now sat in his spot contemplating all he had. He had his girlfriend, he had his friends and he had he's job back. He had everything he left so callously 4 months ago. He should be happy. He should be content. Neither occurred. He was miserable and he didn't know why. The silence was deafening.

Maybe a distraction with some kind of sound would help. He turned on the TV and smiled. Amy's shows were all recorded. He watched an episode of Castle to feel her presence again. It made him miss her more. He quickly turned it off. 55 minutes earlier, she was there.

He sat again, in silence, almost as if he was punishing himself, forcing himself to sit without human interactions as penance for his actions with Amy for the last 4 months.

He was alone for 4 months, and now every minute he was sitting there was torture. He wanted her back, not just on paper like before. He wanted her presence there. He wanted her physically there so he could hold her again, kiss her again, and smell her again. And 64 minutes earlier, she was there.

Then he remembered she still had her sheets on the bed and her harp was still there! He went to her room, strumming his hand across the strings. He remembered their girlfriend/boyfriend sing along nights. Most the time he was only half-hearted into them. They shared a love of music but their taste in music was not.

Then his senses were hit with another memory, when he held her in his arms not 73 minutes ago. He had to let her go back to her apartment to check on things. Cleverly, he dodged the question about the shower by kissing her. Their kiss was passionate and took his breath away. He kissed her again to avoid an argument, just like the Train. It was becoming a habit. However, last thing he wanted to admit to was watching her in the shower.

Watching her that night in the shower did not evoke just a physical response. Sure, he enjoyed seeing her naked body soapy and clean. Something about it was so erotic to him. But it was more. He felt contentment, like she belonged there. If Sheldon would have acknowledged a crazy notion, it was almost as if he was seeing a memory. Like he had seen her there before, and it was the most normal thing in the world. It wasn't though.

Sheldon had seen her naked in the bath when she was sick so long ago, but it was only a glimpse. She hid under a blanket of bubbles and he had carefully covered her with a towel when she undressed. During that moment, he was in" nursemaid Sheldon mode". He was clinical, detached. This time, he was not nursemaid Sheldon, he was a man watching a woman take a shower. Voyeurism was not a quality he wanted to put on his character sheet. Sheldon knew he was going to have to face it sooner than later. Embarrassment flooded his cheeks; He knew he shouldn't have stared at her in the shower, but he couldn't turn his eyes away. He wanted to see her again, either in his living room having tea, playing her harp or naked in the shower. More and more, he was hoping for the latter, but he couldn't even admit that to himself.

He could smell her in this room. He soaked in the scent as he sat on her bed, playing with the sensation in his memory haphazardly floating from one memory to the next. He curled up on her sheets, still soaked with her scent. He drifted off to sleep, dreaming of Amy and all the times they spent together.

Sheldon blinked back into conscientiousness. He looked at her clock on the nightstand:243 minutes ago, she was there. Silence rushed him. This was unacceptable. He had to contact her. Now, 244 minutes was too long.

Sheldon texted Amy:

_**S-Did you arrive at you apartment safely?**_

He waited on her bed for a patience inducing 23 minutes for her reply.

_**A-Yes, I did. I'm sorry I just received this txt. I had fallen asleep. **_

_**S- I had as well. **_

Sheldon didn't add that he had in her room. Feeling guilty having had invaded her space, (and also as if she could sense him in her room) he moved to his spot on the couch.

_**A-Good, I think we both needed it. **_

_**S- Tonight is laundry night, would you like if I did your laundry that you still have here? There is not much.**_

_**A-How thoughtful, but I would feel odd you doing my laundry.**_

_**S-I don't mind at all, or if you felt better, you could do it with me. ;)**_

_Please say yes, Please say yes… Vulcan mind meld should work over the phone, he was sure of it!_

Amy thought long about her reply. She had a hard time returning to her apartment. It smelled of plaster and paint. It was dusty and cold. But mostly, it was silent. Amy had left her ipod at Sheldon's. She had no harp, no music. If she was honest with herself, what she missed was Sheldon. The last week was heart wrenching for sure, but she slept better knowing he was there. It had only been about 4 ½ hours and she missed him. His little wink emoticon didn't help her resolve.

_**A-well, I do need get my stuff ready to move back. I will be over soon. Have you had lunch? Do you want me to pick something up?**_

_**S- You're a mind reader! That would be great! **_

_**A-see you in about 45 minutes.**_

Sheldon was over the moon. She had only been gone 302 minutes, all he had to do was wait 45 minutes more.

Amy arrived 47 minutes later, bags of food in tow. She had picked up Zankou Chicken.

"What is that, good lord, I don't eat pink French fries Amy. "

Amy chuckled, "Those aren't pink fries, silly, they're picked turnips. You don't have to eat them. Here is some roasted chicken, some basmati rice and pita bread with lovely garlic butter." Amy grinned widely. Sheldon couldn't resist when she did that.

"Well, garlic butter isn't too conducive to kissing, Amy…" He smirked at her.

"Kissing wasn't on the menu, Sheldon." Teasing him was a little too easy. "However, I have heard of a great invention called mouth wash. "

"Sarcasm?"

"You're catching on… Now enjoy your dinner, and we can worry about kissing later."

Sheldon loved the food, which was surprising, since it wasn't on his approved list.

"Sheldon, I'm a little surprised you haven't heard of this, it is a staple in Glendale. "

"We live in Pasadena, Amy. "

Amy didn't miss the _we_ in his statement, "It is only 5 miles away Sheldon, and by the way, _**I**_ live in Glendale."

Sheldon slumped and he focused on his food. Pushing around the rice, he looked at Amy. She was looking at her food as well. She didn't' mean to be so harsh with him. He was obviously still trying to get her to live with him. Amazing that only 4 months before, it was the suggestion of their cohabitation that sent him out of her apartment with a slamming door that broke her heart. Was she denying him for good reasons? Or to punish him?

Sheldon finally broke the silence. "This is really good Amy, thank you so much for getting it."

Relived to be broken out her train of thought, "I am so glad you liked it Sheldon. If you like, I can get it more often." The next words out of her mouth came faster than she could stop them. "Maybe we can add it to the roommate agree…. " She looked down, hoping he didn't catch what she said. She knew better.

"Well, Amy, I think that would be wonderful. If we had one." Sheldon was bitter. He didn't understand why she didn't want to live with him. He wanted to change and grow and he knew living with her, he would be able to handle the change. She was the only one who could help him navigate the emotional map in his mind. Finally, he wanted to do something that would improve the relationship, instead of her. Why had she rejected it? Did she not want to be with him? Did she want to live on her own so she could date other men? He was upset and let his disappointment flow through his words.

"I'm sorry Sheldon, I shouldn't have said that. I am still reeling from this week. I misspoke."

"Did you really Amy, did you misspeak? Or do you really want to live here? I don't see why your mind changed. Last week you moved in, it was fine.."

The fork flying down on her plate hinted at her anger. Amy cut him off, "FINE?! It was anything but FINE. You don't know why my mind changed? Are you serious with this? You left me Sheldon! Because I _SUGGESTED_ that we move together if you DIDN'T like to live alone. That IS all I said." She was standing now, moving away from him. Animated her hands motion to emphasize her pain. " You took off, riding the rails. NO goodbye, no thought. And now you have some epiphany and you want to move in together like nothing happened? Something did happened Sheldon, you hurt me." Tears were streaming down her face. This was the fight they should have had last week. These were the words she should have said to him. Were they too late now?

It was Sheldon's turn to yell now, "You are not moving in here to just punish me, not because you don't want to. I thought honesty was the norm now, Amy. I thought things were new, better. " His voice soften seeing how upset she was, he moved to her trying to wipe his guilt away with words and his hands on her shoulders." I know I hurt you, I'm sorry Amy. I want to fix this."

"Moving in isn't going to fix this." She turned away from him. Rejecting his affection was a new feeling for her. To push away something she longed for years was empowering her words. She didn't want to lose her resolve, but with his touch, all of it could evaporate. She had to pull away from him. An action that hit Sheldon to his core.

"It could, if you let it. But you are more interested in punishing me, than thinking of us." Sheldon was hurt, he's words were deflecting his own guilt.

"Thinking of us, really, Sheldon? Thinking of US? HOW DARE you say that to me!" Her voice was louder than he had heard it before, louder than when she wanted to why she couldn't move in earlier in the year. Louder than when she asked him to pass the butter. All her hurt was in her voice. "I am the only who thought about our relationship for YEARS! You had your girlfriend and your perfect routine. You wanted everything to stay the same, never change. But for every change we did, you seemed happier. I did that, not you! I have been the one who thinks of US, not you, not ever! I am done with this conversation. That is it. "

"Where are you going?"

"Maybe the train station to go on some self-pity party sojourn. It seems the en vogue solution to problems." The door slam echoed in the apartment. After that, nothing. Now Sheldon found himself once again, surrounded by silence.


	18. Chapter 18

_**The high energy required for initiation of combustion in oxygen is a chain reaction in which many distinct radical intermediates participate. **_

Amy was furious. She stormed down the stairs and ran to her car. The heat trapped in the car was nothing compared to her fury. Even though it was 103 degree out, she sat in the car for at least 5 minutes before she turned the key. She had to get her composure; she never let her anger get a hold of her that way before with him. IT was new. She was overwhelmed with torrent of pain, angry, pity and love.

Sheldon wanted her to move in; it was best solution. If she wasn't so upset, she would remember she loved him, but he had hurt her and just wanted whatever it was to make HIM happy. He wasn't thinking of her at all. He wanted it all again: Amy living with him, doting on him, giving in to his every whim. He needed her and that what was driving his actions. Like nothing had changed. But the look in his blue eyes: Confusion, pain and hurt. He didn't understand. And the worst of all… The worst thing: He was right. She _wasn't_ being honest. She _was_ punishing him. She wanted to move in with him. She missed him, his voice his presence. She needed him too.

Amy sat in the car, letting the AC cool off more than her body. She needed time to think. She sat in her car, gas prices be damned; she sat in her car and let the engine run. Not knowing if she should go or stay. Not knowing where her home really was. She needed to make a rational decision. That seemed impossible.

Rational was long way from where Sheldon was at moment. He was hurt, rejected and confused. All he did was _suggest_ they move in together and the whole thing blew up. Then it hit him…

_This was what Amy felt like when he left her apartment not 4 months ago. _

The realization left him speechless. He had spent the whole week thinking of himself: How he would get Amy back, how he would get her to stay, how he needed her. But he didn't' think how she felt. The sudden realization that what he was feeling was mirrored by Amy for 4 months hit him like freight train. Last week he discovered the emotion regret. This new one was worse. It shocked his system: Guilt.

The sudden rush of guilt and mixed with his own pain was too much for him. He sat in his spot and cried. He cried so hard his body shook. Then he stopped and just looked out into the room. He had shut down. He was blank.

Amy knew Sheldon would be a wreck, but she couldn't face him. Hopefully, Penny and Leonard could check on him. She called Penny, "Penny, it's Amy. Are you home now?

"Yes, sweetie, but only for about an hour, I am picking up a shift for a friend at the Cheesecake Factory. What's up?"

"Sheldon and I just got into a row. I am worried about him. Any chance you can check on him."

"I haven't talked to you since the party, did you guys fight after the party?"

"OH Penny," Amy told her everything: The after party, the list, the roommate agreement, this morning. Everything. "I just don't know what to do."

"OH, honey, I think you need to talk to Sheldon, he loves you. You can work it out. I will check on him, but it seems to me, you need time to forgive him. And he needs to admit his mistake more. Can you forgive him? "

"Penny, really don't know. I need to get over this pain. I am just afraid…Afraid he is going to take it away again. " That was it, she was afraid he was going to get scared, run off, leaving her again. She couldn't go through that hurt again. She was one wrong move from a shut down herself.

"Let me check on him. I will make sure he is okay. Leonard is here, we will check on him together."

"Thanks guys, you're the best. Call me later, Okay?" Amy was relieved that their friends would look after him and she didn't have to. She was almost ready to give up on him. All it would have take it just one callous comment, one dismissive statement. It was too raw for her now. She couldn't go through the pain again of the summer. The waiting, the hoping for some glimpse of affection from him. He wanted her now, but he could revert back to full selfish Sheldon mode at any time. Amy had moved beyond that. She was looking out for herself now. She had started to focus on her, not him. She needed time to think what she really wanted from him. If she really needed him.

"Okay, bye sweetie." Penny hung up _Oh boy,_ she knew Sheldon was going to be either a mess or indifferent. There was no in between.

"Shamy hit a reef." Penny told Leonard everything she could about what transpired the last evening. "I still can't believe he told her he loves her."

"Everyone know he does. It is completely obvious."

"Yes, to us. But this is Sheldon. He doesn't do touchy feeling emotional stuff. That must have taken a lot out of him to say that to her. And now, it seems for not." Penny was slacked jawed and defeated. If Sheldon and Amy couldn't last, how could she and Leonard? That would have to be debated another time. First to fix this mess they found their friends have stewed.

Leonard and Penny went over to 4A, and knocked. No answer. Leonard still had a key, much to Sheldon's chagrin. He opened the door and found Sheldon there, on his spot, staring into the kitchen at the vases of flowers delivered the week before. He had a blank, unreadable expression. Oh boy, this was worse. Sheldon was in full shut down mode. "Penny, this is going to take more than 40 minutes to sort out. You better go, I will stay with him. "

"Okay Leonard, I am only working for a few hours. I will check on Amy when I get off shift. Keep me posted on him." Penny head out to work a shift she dreaded. Everything seemed more gray now, like lights have been dimmed.

Leonard moved to his old chair, "Hey buddy, you okay? I just wanted to check on you."

Nothing

"I heard you had a fight with Amy."

Nothing

"We just talked to her, she wanted us to check on you."

Sheldon blinked. But still nothing.

"Sheldon, talk to me. Tell me what's going on, I can try and help you sort it out."

Nothing.

"Okay, I will talk." Leonard prepared his thoughts. He knew he had to tread lightly with Sheldon. His mom could get through to him, but really it was Amy who knew best how to talk to him. She knew how to get him to admit things he didn't want to. She knew how to phase painful subjects he would otherwise ignore. Amy knew how to reach him. Leonard did his best.

"Amy and you have a long way to go, Sheldon. You've only been back for a week. She is still upset, it is understandable. But I know you guys can work it out. You just need time. That's all, Sheldon. You're impatient. But it will work out. She loves you. You love her. "

Sheldon eyes were twitching. He just couldn't speak. He didn't know how to deal with his guilt.

"Sheldon, she is afraid. Afraid you're going to leave again."

That got him. He looked blankly at Leonard, quietly said, "She left, she was right to do so."

_Mrs. Cooper's advice was especially poignant right now, "You got to take your time with Sheldon... "_

"Yes, she did. But, I think she just needs time. I bet she will be back. She still loves you Sheldon, she is just still hurt from this summer and you breaking up with her. It will take time, but you will get back to how it was, you'll see."

"NO! I don't want it to be like it was, At all! That is last thing I want." Sheldon sat up, and started pacing. He wanted to run again, but that is how this all got started. He didn't want to be like he was before. He wanted to someone who she deserved, but he had no idea how to start. He had to tell her he understood her now. He was sorry, more than ever.

"I thought you wanted to get back with Amy? Do you not want that?" Leonard was so confused as was often the case when Sheldon gave him half information and Sheldonian reasoning.

"I need to tell her I don't want to be boyfriend like before. I can't be her boyfriend like before. I can't be like that." Sheldon was mumbling to himself. Something about "I don't want it.. I Can't... She's better... Leonard didn't know.

"Leonard, can you take me to Amy's?"

"Listen buddy, you need to give her time. She needs to calm down. If you are going to tell her you don't want be her boyfriend anymore than she is going to need time to process that. Don't rush that information. Formulate your thoughts, think about what you're going to say. I don't want to take you there, and she just slam the door in your face. Give her time to cool off." Leonard was fighting a dragon here. When Sheldon had his mind around something, it would take mutant powers to stop him.

Sheldon turned from him, letting Leonard's advice seep into his brain. It was a good idea. He should work out what he wanted to say, what he wanted her to know. He knew they were better together, but he had to prove it. He had to formulate a plan but he couldn't think with new emotion rushing through him like a virus. Guilt was killing his resolve.

While Sheldon was turned, Leonard texted Amy,

**_L-He is in full shut down mode. Sheldon wants to come over and talk to you. He wants me to drive him over. I am holding him off._**

_**A—I don't want to talk him now. I need time. Thank you Leonard. I will text him.** _

Leonard was so confused. _Why didn't Sheldon want to be Amy's boyfriend anymore? He just told her he loved her? It must be Sheldon running away again. He is overwhelmed. He is shutting down, pushing her away. But Amy can pull him back. Leonard needed Amy here to pull Sheldon back. He just needed to talk to her. Unless... She was done too?_

A few minutes later, Sheldon's phone lit up. He was pacing back and forth in the kitchen, too evolved in his thoughts to see it. Leonard saw the sender. Amy.

"Hey buddy, you have a text here from Amy..."

Sheldon leaped to his phone, rubbed it like a genie lamp. He took a deep breath, steadying himself for the worse. They already had terminated the relationship. They had no agreement, no ties to each other, no road map for how to proceed. She was probably sending him a text to break up with him, ending their friendship. She was going to take away his hope, take away their future together. Sheldon couldn't read it.

"I can't read it Leonard. I know what is says. "_I won't be her boyfriend anymore_"." Sheldon said it as a quote, but Leonard thought he was saying it.

Sheldon thought to himself: _She has every right to be upset. I treated her so poorly. I left, no goodbye. In the last 4 years, I mocked her, I ignored her, I dismissed her. Every time she wanted something for herself from our relationship, I chastised her for it._ Amy _**is**_ better without _me. I don't deserve her._

He hit delete without reading the message.


	19. Chapter 19

_**Thermal runaway refers to a situation where an increase in temperature changes the conditions in a way that causes a further increase in temperature, often leading to a destructive result. It is a kind of uncontrolled positive feedback.** _

Amy was still upset, still hurt and still bitter. Even through that pain, she knew what to do ease Sheldon's mind.

_**A—Sheldon, I know we have numerous issues to talk about presently. I left today with unsolved issues and that fact alone is probably most unsettling to you. This is understandable and I want you to know that is upsetting to me as well. Don't ignore that we have a good foundation, and we can work together. I propose we talk in a week's time. Next Saturday, we can meet, resolve this conflict and draft a new agreement so we both know the expectations of our future together. Is that an acceptable proposal to you?**_

With one text, Amy Farrah Fowler had recognized Sheldon's fears, without mocking him and reciprocated those fears by acknowledging them for herself. She had proposed a timeline that would be beneficial for both of them. Also, she had outlined a plan for the resolution of the problem. She really was fluent in "Sheldonian".

Amy knew the reason why Sheldon NEEDED an agreement. He needed to know all expectations of him. The new agreement would not be drafted to control her or keep her at arms length, but rather to waylay his fears, his doubts. They could draft it together so they could give him a road map for exploring his emotions while still maintaining his need for continuity and control. Amy had some ideas on how Sheldon could handle intimacy and navigate this new emotional landscape. She had put a lot of thought into it. She couldn't wait to tell him.

When she hit send, she was hopeful. With each passing minute, her anxiety rose. Sheldon might not want a new agreement. He was upset with her. If he was in full shut down mode, he would run again.

15 minutes later, her anxiety was rising.

She looked at her phone.

Nothing.

He would reject her again.

Minutes turned into hours.

Nothing.

Should she call? No he needed space. Still more time passed.

Nothing.

All the years of waiting for him, hoping he would give her some kind acknowledgment of his feelings were fulfilled last night. It might have been too much for him. He would run again.

Fear flooded her. He would leave her rather than deal with it. He would revert back to Sheldon who didn't acknowledge feelings, hid emotions and whose only solace was his routine. Her fears were realized when she didn't receive a message back. Nothing. He was gone, again and yet again, she was one who was left to deal with the emotional aftermath. She had lost him again. Her fears were justified.

Now it was Amy's turn to shut down. She had put everything she could into her relationship with him. She had put aside her own wants, because those wants conflicted with his needs. She had put aside her pride, because his was so fragile he didn't need the competition. She had put away her needs because she knew he didn't know how to fulfill them. Everything she did, she did for him. No more. No more tears, no more crying, no more compromises. She needed to live for her now. But she still needed something.

She needed her harp!

Oh boy…

* * *

Penny's shift was awful. He had a mantra that kept her from throwing ketchup smeared plates at poor tipping customers," _In New Mexico, waitress make 2.13 an hour… In New Mexico, waitress make only 2.13 an hour_…." Service professional fellowship concerning low pay didn't fuel her sympathy. Rather, knowing that someone was doing worse than she made her feel better. Not today though. She knew Sheldon and Amy were doing worse, and this made Penny worried.

Penny knew what everyone else on the planet knew: Amy and Sheldon were meant for each other. It didn't take a genius to see it. They had a hidden communication, could be called "Shamanian." Penny could see it when they talked. They could sit for hours in silence and say more with one glance than Leonard and she had in a week. They were soul mates; the definition of Love. If that pure, almost royal love failed, what hope did the romantic "hoi polloi" have?

Penny arrived at Amy's apartment, after a short stop off at the liquor store for a fine bottle of the grape from the famous winery "Rancho Costo Cheapo" to ease her friend's woes. She expected the worst.

Amy answered the door with a huge grin. "Hello Bestie! What brings you here?" Amy smile was overly wide and Penny could see her blood shot eyes. Genius or no, Penny was no fool. Yep, this was worse.

"Oh cut the crap, Amy. You know why I'm here. Leonard is sweeping up pieces of broken Sheldon off the floor of 4A as we speak. " Penny pushed her friend aside to find the wine opener. She was going to need a full glass to pull Amy's head out of the sea of denial she was swimming in.

"Well, I am not broken. I am fine. I tried to text Sheldon to meet and talk about our future. He didn't answer. It has been 5 hours. Nothing. He is done with me. I have to move on. After last week and today, I can't cry anymore. I am all out." Amy found the opener for Penny and poured herself a glass.

"Oh honey, I know Sheldon loves you, he is just being… well… Sheldon. I'll call Leonard, get the skinny."

Penny called Leonard, expecting good news. As the conversation went on, she moved to living room, avoiding Amy's seemingly uncaring glares. Amy wished for Vulcan hearing.

Penny cupped the phone to her mouth, "Well what did he say?... Did he get her message? He did what? Why? Did you talk to him? Where is he? Oh crap…." Penny shoulders slumped around each word, hoping to shield Amy from the blow.

Amy thought she knew what was said, what Sheldon thought. Sheldon was shutting her out. He was ignoring everything that happened yesterday and closing himself off. She was going to do the same.

Penny hung up. Sheldon didn't want Amy to be his girlfriend anymore. Why? This didn't make any sense. She had to turn around and face her friend, tell her the news. It was like bricks on her feet, keeping her from turning. Finally, with a deep breath, she turned, resolved to lie to Amy.

"It's _fine_, he's just freaking out. You'll see. He will call you. I make sure he calls you. He has to call you. He needs to call you."

"Oh Penny, now you cut the crap. Sheldon is done with me. He is back to his first and only love, Himself." Amy gulped the glass of cheap wine and tried to sit straight, purposely holding her shoulders back preparing her body for the emotional armor she was going to wear from now on.

"Amy that's not true, he just needs time." Penny lied. She knew he was holed in some sea of denial, allowing himself to drown rather than take lifeline Amy had threw him. Typical Sheldon.

"Time is all I have ever given him. It didn't work. I am spent, Penny. I just can't think anymore. Not today. I am done for the day."

Silence fell. Penny held her breath, not sure what to say.

Finally, Amy spoke, "Can you get my stuff for me. I don't have much over there. My harp is a problem. I know it is a lot to ask, but could the guys bring it here. I can't go over there. Not yet."

"Sure honey, I will talk to Leonard."

Penny only had a half a glass of wine before she noticed the bottle was empty. Amy had polished it off like a pro. Penny put her to bed before Amy could follow through with her plans to go dancing with Korean businessmen. After her heartbroken friend was safely put in bed, she headed home. Her drive back to Los Robles was long. She needed Leonard to make it right. He needed to fix this. Penny did all she could.

* * *

"Where is the bastard? How could he give up on her? Why did you let him?" Penny was one step away from hitting Leonard with a pillow like Amy did 4 months before. Penny should have stopped him then. She knew that now. Penny was selfish to let Sheldon go without calling Amy. She wanted him to go, give Leonard and her time with each other. Also, she really thought Sheldon would grow a pair. His trip was a waste, nothing learned, everything good he had was lost.

Leonard was taken aback by Penny's anger. "I can't control him, he's in crazy Sheldon mode. He is holed up in his room, playing with his D&D dice trying to get 15 or higher. He said he doesn't want to her to be his girlfriend anymore. I don't think he can handle it."

"He handled it before! He needs to grow up!" Penny was screaming.

"Why are you so upset by this? They were apart the whole summer? You didn't seem to mind then."

"Because Sheldon was supposed to come back better! He was supposed to come back and sweep her off her feet, become a man. Now he is the same as old selfish Sheldon. Nothing has changed. Of Course I am upset, why aren't you!? Amy and Sheldon are done! Even after he said he loved her, it wasn't enough. Love alone is not enough! Why aren't you upset by this."

"Because I can control it! I can't help Sheldon, he wont listen to me. Amy wont listen to you! What is wrong with you? " He could smell the wine on Penny's breath. He lowered his brow and glared at her, "Did you get drunk at Amy's and drive home?"

Wrong thing to say… The rays from Penny's eyes was enough to give the laser's in his lab a inferiority complex. "I am not drunk, I had a half a glass of wine. How dare you think I would drive drunk? Do you think I am stupid? How wait, I forget… Of course you do… How could I have been sooo… _Stupid_!"

Leonard threw up his hands in exasperation, "Not this again! You are not stupid! I worry about you if you drink and drive. You seem so upset, I thought you were drunk again…"

"Drunk again? You think I am an alcoholic? Get out! Go back across the hall: to your boy cave, with your boy toys, and your child like pal. I can't even look at you!" Penny slammed the door to the bedroom.

"Well, fine, I'll leave. Do you want me to call Zack and get you an appointment for a workout session? I hear he has some openings. You can go to the bar with him after your done!" Leonard stormed out. How did they get in such a huge fight? Why was she so mad over Sheldon and Amy? Now he had to go back his apartment, and sleep on girl sheets…

_**God could this get any worse?**_

10 minutes later… It did.

Leonard was just about to go lay down in his old room when Sheldon stormed out.

"What are you doing trying to go in Amy's room."

"Penny and I had a fight. I am going to sleep here tonight, okay, Sheldon… I'm tired. I just want to lay down." Leonard was in no mood.

"There is no way in Hell you are sleeping in Amy's bed! Go back on home, to your domestic bliss across the hall." Sheldon was guarding Amy's door.

"Didn't you hear me? I had a fight with Penny! Over _you_, you stupid idiot! It's your fault! So I am going to sleep in my old room. Now let me through."

"You are by no means sleeping in Amy's bed. She has yet to collect her things. I will not allow you sleep where she slept. Sleep on the couch."

"SHELDON! I can take the sheets off the bed. Let me through!" Leonard tried to push his way through Sheldon. He was having none of it. Sheldon pushed him back across the hall to wall, pinning him against the wall with his arm across his chest.

"**Now you listen to me and you listen good. You aren't going anyway near that room, you hear? That's Amy's space, not yours, not anymore. Now, go on now to couch.** " Sheldon hooded eyes were on fire. His Texas accent was as thick and husky as his warning. Leonard had never been physically afraid of Sheldon before tonight even though he towered over him. Tonight, Leonard was painfully aware of his height difference, and more importantly, painful aware of Sheldon's resolve.

"Okay, Sheldon, let me go. I'll sleep on the couch." He wanted to get away from him. He always knew Sheldon had a temper. He had never seen him so unhinged. If this was the Sheldon without Amy, _everyone should be afraid_.

* * *

_**Author notes: Thanks so much for the recent reviews. I really light up every time I see them, and they keep me going! I am continuing this story because I firmly believe that Amy needs to set Sheldon straight, she is the only one who can. Additionally, their relationship is the most stable of the group. There is a lot of other character development coming from the rest of the gang. Don't fret, the Shamy is the focus... I hope you will be able to tell that Amy is my favorite character.**_


	20. Chapter 20

_**The chain reactions and other forms of secondary compensation are feasible only in case of non-equilibrium energy distribution in the reacting system.**_

* * *

Lying in bed lazily on a Sunday morning, Raj and Emily, were blissfully unaware of all the drama happening at Los Robles.

"Well, my Ginger Queen, where do you want go today?" Raj was a hopeless romantic. He wanted to shower Emily with all the love he had been denied for years.

"Hmmm. Do you want to go to Silver Lake? They have some new coffee shops that are supposed to be pretty hip! I heard Tobuscus from Youtube hangs out at Intelligencia Coffee!" Emily loved introducing Raj to new things. It was her favorite pastime. Emily also loved that Raj would do anything for her. She was not used to be being treated so well by a man. Their only fights were about her loving him. She returned the words when he said them to her last night, but it was a hollow voice.

"Okay, my sweet. Oooh, we can go to the observatory afterwards. There is supposed to be a meteor shower tonight. Maybe I can get a good view on the telescope!" He reached down to grab his phone to text Howard and Bernie and the gang to join them.

"Who are you texting?" Emily knew the answer. It had to be Howard.

"I thought the gang could join us? It is Sunday, so they will all be free. We can hear the gossip about Sheldon and Amy." Raj had already texted Howard and was working on Leonard next. " God I hope he didn't blow it. After all the work we put into their reunion. I have to hear what happened!"

Emily loved a gossip session better than the next person, but she didn't want to spend a whole night listening to Howard and Bernie fight. The need to hear about how "the Shamy" was fairing proved to be the bigger pull.

"Okay, but I want to go the observatory alone. Have Howard and Bernie meet us at Sheldon's apartment. We can see how they are doing then."

"Hopefully, we wont walk in on them naked!" Raj really wanted Amy to get the physical side of her relationship with Sheldon going for her sake. Raj knew needed it to calm her fears of their relationship, and convince her that Sheldon loved her. He knew better than anyone how lonely she could be.

"Oh, I doubt that. There is a lot a road between Sheldon talking to Amy and him growing up to be a man who can take care of a woman's needs. I don't see him reaching puberty for years. Amy is a saint or a fool, I am not sure which."

"Hey, Amy is not a fool, she is in love. She would do anything for Sheldon, even wait for him to approach his intimacy issues on his own terms. Sheldon just needs time."

"Time is all he's had, from what Amy had told me. She was a fool to wait for him this summer. I would have dumped him like a bad habit the minute he got on that train. Love or not, she should protect herself. "

"Is that what you are doing with me? Do you think I am fool?" Raj and Emily have had some issues lately. He felt he was the only one in love and she was just going through the motions. They didn't have the connection that Sheldon and Amy had, but he thought they could if she would just let him through. Emily had emotional layers. She had let Raj in, but only so far. There were things she was holding back on in their relationship. The finally step to giving into love was a simple hop for Raj; It was a chasm for Emily.

"Oh god, Raj, not this again…" She hated that he brought this up. It seemed every time they talked about Sheldon and Amy, their own relationship came into play.

"What is the supposed to mean?"

"Just leave it okay, we are fine the way we are. I am with you, why do you have push me?"

"I love you Emily, I don't know if you love me?"

"Oh, for god's sake Raj, I've told you I do, what more can I do?"

"You don't act like it…" Raj had heard her words. "I love you…" But she had no feeling behind them. No emotion, like she was reading a script for a sitcom.

"You think I am lying? For what reason? I told you l love you. "

"It's more than words, Emily. You have no passion behind your declarations. I feel I am the only one invested emotionally here."

"That's because you have too many emotions. You let them drive you. I cant wear my heart on sleeve. I told you I love you, but it not enough. It is never enough. I am sick of having to prove I have feelings just because they aren't displayed like yours." Emily didn't want to have this fight again, it seemed like broken record. "Let's just go check on them. I really want to see what's going on with Shamy."

"Well, we'll see soon enough. I told everyone to meet over at Los Robles. I haven't heard from Leonard yet. Maybe he and Penny are sleeping in. "

"Well, it is only 8:30 am. Let's get some coffee and head over with some donuts and we can knock on their door and see what's up." Emily got up and got dressed leaving Raj alone in the bed of insecurities.

* * *

Meanwhile, in Altadena, Howard and Bernie were ready for a break. They had the grueling task of her parent's dinner last night. They were on the brink of a fight when they got the text from Raj. A welcome distraction from the old argument: Howard's feelings of in adequacy and her lack of interest in sex lately. At least they weren't fighting over having children again.

"I wonder how it went with Sheldon and Amy. I haven't heard from her. Have you heard from Sheldon?"

"Nothing. Of course it not like the guy texts me anything about his crazy relationship. Leonard is the source for all things Sheldon. He isn't answering his phone. Probably sleeping in with Penny. I bet they were screwing like bunnies last night."

"Why would you think that? Not everyone has sex all the time, Howard." Bernie had been working a lot lately. Between Howard's mother needed attention and her clinical study coming to an end, she had been exhausted. Howard wasn't empathic regarding her scheduling; particularly concerning sex. He had the same schedule he always had. Bernadette had not had time for him, but he felt she didn't make the time either. Their relationship was held together by a harp string. One wrong pluck, and it could snap.

Howard and Bernadette arrived at Los Robles the same time as Raj and Emily, juggling a box of donuts. The two couples ascended the stairs, kibitzing on what they would encounter.

"I think Sheldon and Amy will be having a tea, reading a science journal or figting over comic book plots again." Emily was not hopeful.

Bernadette piped up, "If that fight was about monkey comics, then call me a monkey's uncle. Anyway, if they're smart, they're sleeping in. God I wish I could." She shot a glare to Howard who shifted his eyes down to avoid her glares.

"Well, I bet after an evening of torrid love making, Sheldon and Amy will be taking a steamy couple's shower, washing the stain of last night innocent virginal dalliance while creating a new path toward completely lustful mornings. " Raj was dreamy eyed.

"Oh Please. Knowing Sheldon, he is in the laundry, cleaning the sheets or taking a Lysol shower. Hopefully they have consummated their relationship last night, or we might walk in on some naked Sheldon the conqueror action. You can't un-see that. You just can't."

Bernadette quickly added, "Well, if they did have sex, it would have been a miracle. I don't think either of them are ready for that..." She quickly added under her breath, "and the pressure that goes with it."

Finally they reached the 4th floor. "We should talk to Penny and Leonard first, see what's the low down on the Shamy. They might have intel."

The two couples were greeted by a scowling Penny, with bloodshot eyes matching the ketchup stain shirt she was sporting. In one hand, she had a pint of ice-cream, the other a melon baller she was using a makeshift spoon. She did not look amused.

"What the hell are you guys doing here? Leonard is with Captain Clueless over there. " Penny took another scoop out of the carton and plopped it in her mouth.

Bernadette spoke first, "Oh Penny, what happened? Did you have a fight with Leonard? Time to put the ice cream down, honey." Bernadette knew the truth, Penny only ate ice cream during a "Lenny Let Down."

"At least I'm not drunk or screwing Zack, despite what Leonard thinks. Jerk…"

"Oh god, you guys go check across the hall, we will stay with Penny." Emily and Bernadette went in 4B with Penny. Howard and Raj were left to deal with Leonard, sans donuts.

"Well, let's go check on him. You know Sheldon won't be any help."

A disheveled weary-eyed Leonard answered the door, wearing the same clothes from yesterday. As they entered they saw the blankets in the couch. Sheldon was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's Amy and Sheldon? Did they keep you awake with their screams of passion."Raj hopes were dashed with the next sentence.

"Sheldon is in his room, Amy is at home. He broke up with her, I think. I don't know. I came over to check on him. He had some fight with Amy yesterday morning. He says he doesn't want to be her boyfriend. I cant get him to talk. He is steps away from a major melt down. I got into a stupid fight with Penny over Sheldon and Amy breaking up."

"That seems to be going around. "Raj had his own experiences with that fun topic. "What the hell happened to Amy and Sheldon? How could this happen? It was going so well. Sheldon figured out he loved her, didn't she recepicate? I cant believe this!" Raj starting to get weepy.

"Now don't you go all getting emotional over Sheldon and Amy, I have that enough with Penny. She is really upset over it, I don't get it."

_**"Dude, it's a big deal. If Sheldon and Amy cant make it, what hope do the rest of have?"**_

All three men sat back, absorbing the last statement as it hung on the air. Sheldon's relationship with Amy was a lot of things: It was weird, it was strange, but it was consistent. Now it was gone. It seemed like an building had been torn down, changing the skyline forever.

Leonard didn't know if he should bring it up, "Guys, He is really unhinged. Last night, he threw me against the wall for going into Amy's room. I have never seen him so, ferocious. "

"Sheldon is territorial about Amy. He really going to go Bat-crap crazy if she starts dating. You guys saw him with Scottish Steve?" Howard shivered at the thought of a jealous filled Sheldon terrorizing Cal-Tech.

A bellowing voice came from down the hall, "WHEN, Amy starts dating, you should say." All three men looked to a battle weary Sheldon, emerging from the dark, shoulders were slumped, dishelved black hair, blood shot eyes, and he was still wearing the same clothes from the day before.

"Dude, Amy is not going to date anyone, she loves you. You just need to give her time. That's all." Raj was still hopeful.

"In what universe do you possible conceive of a reality that I would take your advice on relationships? You barely started a long term relationship on your own, which I might add is being held together by a thread."

Sheldon turned his anger to Wolowitz now, "And you, you will not sully her name again in my house. Understand? The name "Amy Farrah Fowler" will not leave your sex crazed lips. You hear?"

Now for poor Leonard had to dodge his rage, "You have one fight with Penny, and you're on my couch? Is this going to be a habit that I am going to wake up to your love sick motely crue? All Y'all's pitiful romantic notions aside, Amy Farrrah Fowler is going to find someone, and I am going to have to face that."

Sheldon now sat in his spot, his eyes glazed. He just looked out, not focusing on his friends, not focusing on anything. "She needs to get away from me. I am no good to her. She needs to be with someone who can give her what she deserves. That's not me. It was never me. "


	21. Chapter 21

_**A **__**vicious circle**__** is a complex events with no tendency towards equilibrium. Both systems of events have feedback loops in which each iteration of the cycle reinforces the previous one (positive feedback). These cycles will continue in the direction of their momentum until an external factor intervenes and breaks the cycle.**_

"Amy, Get your ass over here! We are having an emergency girls night! The theme is why guys suck and why we put up with them. OH, and pick up wine on the way. Lots of it! Not that crap Penny buys … I know it's cheap! That's she buys it…No, no guys, just us. Penny, Em and I are here…. We have donuts! See you soon…" Bernie hung up. No one can make someone do something like Bernadette; she was like the domineering staff sergeant in their nerdy platoon.

"Okay, she's on her way. She can give us her side of the story."

" In the mean time, I want to get drunk, cause that's what I do now, according to Leonard." The sentence was dripping with contempt. Penny was furious.

"I had a fight with Raj too. Over Amy and Sheldon of all things." Emily was looking for any clean glasses in Penny's apartment, no such luck.

"Me too, kind of. It's like when Shamy hits a reef, we all get the tsunami."

Amy arrived a little while later. She texted Penny on the 3rd floor landing so she would open the door and Amy could just walk in. She didn't want to chance running into Sheldon; she made that mistake before. Amy walked in to a disaster scene. Penny was hitting the ice cream with Kalua, hard. Bernadette and Emily had polished off a box of donuts between them leaving only the crumbled remains of an apple fritter and a lot of regret. They were in full sugar rush tittering on carb coma.

"Alright ladies, enough! What fresh Hell is this?"

"You sound like Sheldon!" Penny tried to pull back his name into her mouth, but it was gone.

"We are NOT going to mention him now. What the hell is going on, are _ALL_ of you having guy troubles?"

All three of them started crying at the same time. Oh god, Amy thought, as she took off her purse readying herself for the clean up, _it's going to be a long night._

* * *

…

Across the hall, the men weren't faring better. Raj was mess, crying over his Ginger Goddess. Leonard was fuming over Zack and Howard was lamenting over his sex life. Quietly, Sheldon took in all in, analyzing their complaints. Finally, Sheldon had enough!

"Gentlemen, you need to get a grip. "

"Pots and kettles, Sheldon."

"What does kitchen ware have to do with this?"

Leonard was getting sick of Sheldon arrogance, one aspect of his summer absence he did not miss, "It's the pot calling the kettle black. You are in complete denial over Amy. You are the one who needs to get a grip."

"We are not going to mention her. Besides, Y'all need to get your houses in order." Like a lecturer, Sheldon sat up and directed his voice to each of his pupils: "Raj, Emily loves you, but she doesn't express it the same way you do… SO what! It doesn't mean the feelings aren't there. Howard, Bernadette is exhausted from work and you are pressuring her for coitus? It's no reflection on you, just timing. Leonard: Penny is not going out with Zack, that ship has sailed. You two are engaged for God's sake. Talking about her drinking in the middle of fight is a bad idea. All y'all need is just to talk to your women. So simple, even your puny minds should see it." He sipped his tea, lost in his own thoughts again.

All three guys looked at each other in shock. _Did Sheldon Lee Cooper just give each one of them relationship advice? _

"Well, Mr. Smarty Von Love muffin, we could say the same to you. You need to talk to "She who will not be named". Don't you want to know _what_ her text said? Are you sure she was ending it?"

"Smarty von What?! What else would she do? Listen, Amy Farrah Fowler is a smart competent woman who has been tied down to selfish egomaniac for 4 years. She deserves better. "

Howard wasn't buying this self-pity party Sheldon was hosting, "What happened to all your confidence, your bravado? The Great and Powerful Sheldon Lee Cooper?"

"Just like the wizard of Oz, it was all smoke and mirrors. When it comes to women, I am a failure."

"I can't believe you're giving up on her, your one true love… " Raj was sobbing now, in full emotional melt down. "Your love was so perfect! Sheldon, I know you love her. You have to win her back! Do not accept defeat! "

"I can't be the kind of man she deserves without _**her**_. Don't you see? It is a feedback loop. "

"Yes, but in the case of feedback loop, and external event can stabilize the system."

"The only external event that would stabilize my relationship with Amy, is Amy." Defeated, Sheldon retreated towards his room. Before he reached it, Leonard called out to him, "You're running again, running away."

"No Leonard, I'm letting her run from me. " Sheldon slowly closed the door.

* * *

Back across the hall, the girls were working on their 2nd bottle of wine. Amy was listening to all their moaning about their relationships. Penny was bitching about Leonard's comments. Bernadette was bitching about Howard's powerful sex drive, and Emily was bitching about Raj's overflowing emotions. Amy was giggling by this point.

"What are you giggling about, Amy, no more wine for you, you're cut off!" Penny grabbed the bottle and handed it to Bernadette.

"You guys are hilarious. What I wouldn't GIVE to have your problems. Penny: Leonard is jealous because you're beautiful and get attention from lots of men. Boohoo! He is worried about how much your drink, and frankly this summer, so were we. He cares so much for you, but he can't verbalize his fears well enough before you go off the handle. Emily: Raj is emotionally needy. He needs confirmation that you are in love with him. You haven't let him in, don't deny it. Tell him the truth: Just because you aren't at the same place emotionally, doesn't mean you won't get there at your own pace. Bernadette: Howard's feelings of inadequacy are magnified by your lack of interest in him sexually. That neediness in itself is a turn off, and highlighted by his lack of empathy for your schedule and emasculating income. You are such a strong women, Howard feels you don't need him. So show him that you want him instead. It's so simple. " Amy was giggling now uncontrollably.

The three women were getting concerned. Amy seemed off, a little nutty, more than usual. Through laughing fits she points to each of the women:

"You, Blondie, have a fiancé who adore you. And you, Red, Have a boyfriend who loves you **too** much! And you, short stuff, you have… " Amy was toppled over now… "You have…" She couldn't get the words out…" You have a husband who _**wants**_ to have sex with you!" Amy was hysterical now.

"Those are your relationship troubles? Really!?" Amy's laughing turned to cries. "What I wouldn't give to have your problems. What I wouldn't give to have to push Sheldon away because he wanted TOO MUCH SEX! To bitch and moan that he loves me _too_ much and shows too many emotions. To have him listen to me, to my fears and problems and be supportive! You know what I had? I had a guy who after declaring his love for me, after one fight, crawls back in his self absorbed, anal retentive routine, throwing away everything again."

Amy sat up on her knees, waving her arms around, every breath drowned in sarcasm she knew SHeldon would never understand, "His fear of emotional attachment, intimacy ALL OF IT, back like a reunion tour of our favorite band: "Sheldon and Emotionally Repressed! You remember their favorite hits, don't you. Songs we can't forget like, "_I'll never love because I don't know how_." Or how about this favorite, "_I don't wanna hold your hand_." Or this little ditty, "_Everything I do, I do it for me_.""

All the girls could do was hold her. All three threw their arms around Amy, desperate to hold her. She pushed them all away, stood up, sniffing the air for the composure she lost. "All I did was send a text to him, he couldn't even reply. He couldn't even tell me it was over. He couldn't even say goodbye. AGAIN!" She collapsed again, falling hard on her knees, legs spread behind her, genuflecting at the altar of broken hearts.

Amy rose after a few minutes. She said nothing, straightened her skirt and headed to the bathroom. Penny Bernadette and Emily just looked at her go, not knowing what to say; frozen with the lack of understanding just how much Amy has hidden her pain. If Sheldon was in shut down mode, Amy was getting reformatted into something the gang had not seen.

Penny had to work quickly. She grabbed Amy's purse, and found her phone.

The other women whispered, "What are you doing?"

"I have to know what the text said, Sheldon never read it. He deleted it." Quickly, she checked Amy's sent texts. She found the one she sent to Sheldon. Penny couldn't believe it. She had sent him a text to meet and talk. The idiot thought she was breaking up with him.

She forwarded the text to herself, deleted the notification. She had to talk to Leonard, even though they were fighting, she had to work this out. Bernadette and Emily watched the door to the bedroom so Penny could quickly put back her purse.

Amy emerged from the bedroom with a wide forced grin. "Okay ladies, who's ready for Travel Twister."

Penny sent Leonard a text, "**Meet me outside the Apt, NOW!"**

"Okay, you girls get set up, I have to check the mail and throw in a load of laundry. I am waiting for a residual check from the commercial I did. I'll be right back. "

She opened the door just as Leonard was closing 4A.

"Hi Penny, Look I'm sorry for what I said…"

"No time, Leonard, but I love you!" Quick kiss then back to business. "Look at what Amy sent Senor Wackadoodle that sent him running. What the hell? Why wouldn't he respond to that?"

Leonard read the text, just as confused as Penny. "He said he thought she didn't want to be his friend anymore. He is talking crazy in there. His says he can't be the man she needs without her, feedback loops and she deserves better. His even looking at dating sites to find her an acceptable mate! Look, I can't speak crazy Sheldonian, and I can't fix crazy."

"Amy is riding this crazy train with him. She was completely unbalanced in there. I am telling you, she is one step away from no return. These two need to talk, in person. You get Sheldon to the laundry. I am going to get Amy to talk to him. She is fluent in Sheldonian"

"How in hell are you going to do that?"

"My wonderful acting skills, of course!"

_**Author's notes:**__** I am not a fan of Penny since the finale. I think she doesn't treat Amy well. I also think her motivations are driven by her own needs. That being said, the next chapter is, in my opinion OOC. I needed someone to get these two crazy love birds together. Thanks for the reviews. I know this story has a lot of angst, but know this: Sheldon and Amy are meant for each other. I would love to know what you guys think. **_


	22. Chapter 22

_**A rise in Temperature causing change in an already unstable system...**_

_**Author's notes: This is a long chapter. I hope you enjoy, I think it is pretty funny. I had a lot of fun writing this chapter!**_

"Sheldon, get off that dating site, are you crazy? Amy's doesn't want you picking out her next boyfriend."

"I'm not crazy, my mother…"

Three guys said at once, "Yes, she had you tested… " Howard added, "I think they sent the results to wrong lab for analysis."

Leonard tried to refocus Sheldon, " Look, Amy doesn't want you picking out guys for her. Isn't it laundry night. Don't you want to get back to it?"

"Amy needs to find a mate that can keep up with her intellectually, that can appreciate her quirks, her perfect grin, her sparkling green eyes." Sheldon caught himself daydreaming about Amy. Grasping for composure, he roughly stated to the shocked band of guys, " Most the idiots that have sniffing around this week aren't worthy of her."

"SHELDON, there is no way you are going to find a man worthy of her! Do you remember when you got so unglued about Stuart?" Raj couldn't believe that Sheldon was even thinking of this.

Howard knew something was up, Sheldon's jealousy was infamous. "Well, now wait a minute… Sheldon has a point. If we could find Sheldon for her, there's no telling what is out there. Let me have a go."

Howard grabbed Sheldon's laptop from him despite his protests. Howard did a quick internet search for single, Nobel laureates. "Well, what about this guy, single, attractive, lives in Boston… Didn't Amy go to Harvard? Oh, and he is on track to get a Nobel prize in what now, bio-chemistry? Well, my stars, Sheldon, you're right! There might be a match for Amy after all!" He hits the song on his Ipod again, "All the single ladies," started playing in apartment.

Sheldon was twitching uncontrollable now, barely able to grab his laptop from Wolowtiz without throwing it across the room. "Howard, turn that damn hollering off." Howard, made a hasty retreat.

As Sheldon walked back to his computer. "This guy? Please! Looks like one of those hippy types, with his windswept hair and hazel eyes and too many muscles. Bio-Chemistry? HA. Says here he owns a Biotech firm in Boston, fortune 500…And why should Amy be interested in some Corporate Yankee who steals from the desperate any time opportunity knocks? " Sheldon was fuming.

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. Leonard rose to answer it. He was greeted by the AC man from last week. "Oh, hello… I was wondering how you guys doing with the repairs? Is the girl home? I wanted to check on her…" His eyes were scanning the room looking for some trace of the woman who temped him last week. He walked in to the middle of the room and was greeted by a familiar figure. Except this time, his eyes looked different.

Sheldon's voice was rough and husky as he slowly rose to his feet. His hands were behind his back, puffing his chest out as he spat each breath, "Listen up , uh, Frank… The "_**girl**_" you are hoping for is not here and she will never be here. The _**woman**_ who lived here is doing just fine and is in no need of your services; repair or otherwise. Now, I know this is going to hard for you understand, given your community college education and apparent stunted intellectual capacity, but try to keep up. That _**woman **_is no match for you. You are beneath her in every aspect of your pitiful existence. "

Frank was backing up now, "Wooh hold up pal, I just wanted to talk to her. No need for all this, I didn't know you were together… Sorry buddy." Holding his hand up in defeat, he was not willing to go toe to toe with this seemingly physically weaker yet determined guy. It was the crazy eyed ones you have to watch out for.

With each step he took, backing the stranger to the door, Sheldon seemed to get taller, "I am not your buddy, and you will not talk to her, you will not speak to her or of her. You will not check on her or stalk her. You will not ogle her with your lust filled eyes, or so help me god, I will rip them out of your head and shove them up your…." Leonard pushed the door closed…"Okay pal, that's enough, he got the point. Come on now, back to the couch. Leonard was so thankful that he didn't have to pull Sheldon off that guy.

Howard whispered to Raj, _"Is it just me, or is he turning green and his clothes are ripping…"_

_"I see what Leonard was worried about, this is bad, dude. Hulk Sheldon is scary."_

Leonard shot them a look before focusing back on Sheldon again. "Okay Sheldon, he's gone now . Listen buddy, you need to calm down. Folding laundry calms you down, isn't it Saturday? You'll feel better and put some thought into how you're going to talk to Amy next time you see her."

That seemed to snap Sheldon out of his red rage, "That is going to take a lot of thought..." Hazily, Sheldon answered, "I think I will go do my laundry, Leonard. " He went to his room to gather his things, but not before he barked back to Wolowitz, "Howard, stay off the internet!"

After Sheldon left, the guys huddled around like they were working on football play. Trying their best to whisper.

"_Did you have to go hard on him about the dating dude? Don't poke the dragon, dude, that was low Howard, he is on the edge of a full melt down."_

"_I know, I'm actually scared of him. Look, we have to think the Nuclear option here! We have to get them back together or we are going to need a stack of new restraining orders and all our lives will be a living hell." _

Leonard told the guys about the text. They agreed to help get Sheldon down stairs. They hoped Penny acting skills were up to snuff, but they didn't have much faith.

* * *

Penny ran back to the her apartment with a dramatic entrance, delivered her line, "I'm such an idiot. I forgot the laundry basket. I hate to make that trip twice. My ankle been hurting me lately. "

"Don't do laundry tonight! It's girls night! Come play twister!" Amy was ignoring the pleading eyes of Emily and Bernie who begged her not to play.

"Amy, I am just going to throw in a load, and I have check the mail for that risdual check, I will be right back. I really don't want to make two trips."

Penny dashed down stairs calling Leonard on the way.."Is he down there? Good. I am on my way. Have the guys meet me outside the laundry room door in 15 minutes. When she got the landing, she called Amy, Delivering the next line of her script:

"_Oh Amy, I twisted my ankle in the laundry room. Can you come down and help me? Thanks bestie! Grab the soap, I forgot it and have Emily and Bernadette come down too and help me. I know, no more wine for me…thanks!"_

Act one done. On to act two: Sheldon.

* * *

Penny found slumped shouldered Sheldon putting laundry in the machine. She had to keep him there till Amy came down.

"Hey Shelbot, how's it hanging?" Penny just needed 5 minutes. But if she brought up Amy, he'd bolt. She had to keep it light.

"Nothing's hanging Penny, if you'd excuse me…"

Okay, that's not working._ Throw him off his game and flirt_…"You know, Sheldon, I missed you. It's just not the same without you around. Leonard hasn't been the same. " Waxing his ego might work…

"Of course you missed me, I don't know how you two got along without me clean up your messed up a relationship. Honestly Penny, Zack? Tsk Tsk. What were you thinking was going to happen? Now if you will excuse me. " Sheldon was in no mood for Penny tonight. He just wanted to get upstairs and crawl back under his sheets, hoping the mess he had made of his life would dissipate in a haze of sleep.

Penny had to go nuclear: As he was walking by with his freshly folded basket of laundry, she pratfell on his basket knocking it to the floor, then for added effect, she knelt down and started putting his clothes in her basket. "Oh god Sheldon, I'm so sorry… Don't worry, it just my Cheesecake factory uniform. I'll rewash your stuff with mine."

"You most certainly will not! I wont have my prized flash shift tumbling around in some laundry coital display with your disease infected grease stained uniform. Good lord woman, what have you been serving, chili dogs?" As he pushed her away, Penny went to the door, listening for Amy. While Sheldon was fixing the mess, Amy walked in, soap in hand. Penny slammed the door behind her.

"Penny, what are you…" Sheldon and Amy locked eyes, unable to move. Sheldon looked away, racked with guilt. He couldn't even look at her. Amy fixed her glare on Penny, like the Great Eye of Mordor, "Penny, let me out."

"No! I wont. Sheldon, you need to read her text. Read it now! " Penny threw her phone to Sheldon. Instead of Sheldon, it was Amy who swiftly caught the phone in mid air without tearing her glare from Penny. She put it in her pocket, impressing both Sheldon and Penny with her quick reflexes.

"He doesn't want to read it Penny." Amy was furious with her friend interfering.

Instead of answering Amy, Penny shouted at Sheldon, "Look at what she wrote you, Sheldon. That is what you were afraid to read?" Penny turned to Amy, now, "Amy, he never read it, he deleted it before he read it. For having a combined IQ of over 370, you are both acting like idiots. Until you two can talk, you're both not leaving this room." Penny slammed the door. Amy was having none of it. She tried to open the door, but the gang had barred it closed. On the other side she heard of them, Emily and Raj, Howard and Bernie. Leonard and Penny. All three couples in unison, "WORK IT OUT"

"Amy, I'm sorry, I had no idea they planned this. I am sorry, sorry for everything. " Sheldon couldn't look at her. His guilt wouldn't allow him the luxury of her image. Every time he closed his eyes, he was in a herd of Gorn, taunting him.

Not acknowledging his presence in the room, Amy continued to appeal with the gang on the other side of the door, "Let me out this instant, or so help me I will…"

"The only thing you're going to do is fix Senor Wackdoodle in there. Now get cracking!" Bernadette was in no mood. More Amy spent belly aching, less time she had to deal with Sheldon.

"Amy, you don't have to fix me. I'm sorry." He still couldn't look at her.

"It doesn't matter Sheldon, nothing does. Let's just wait them out. It shouldn't take up too much of your day." Amy plopped herself on top of the closest dryer to the door. For what seemed like years, all Sheldon heard was the hum of a dryer, his short breath, and the drumming sound of the thin metal as she dangled her feet over side, tapping out a heartbeat.

She was pretty tipsy from the second bottle of "Regret Red" she brought and not in the mood for a confrontation. Besides, she had to plan were to hide the bodies of the three couples on the other side of blocked door…

Then it hit her, _he never read the text? _

"You never read it?"

"No, I couldn't."

"You have no idea what it says? It could say anything, Sheldon. I could have been asking for directions, or I could have told you my mother was in the hospital. " Now she was taunting him with the phone, holding it out to him like a tempting dessert. "You really don't know… Isn't that driving you crazy?"

It was driving him crazy, he was twitching with curiosity. He had to know… He grabbed at the phone, but Amy was too quick. She pulled it behind her back waging her finger at him. "Please Amy, let me see it."

"No, you didn't want to see it. I should just delete it like… OOF.."

Sheldon had grabbed her, pulling both hands behind her back. His arms pinning hers against her sides. His breath was hot against her neck as he snatched the phone from her. At first, she was excited by his force, and forgot she was angry, but she quickly remembered and pushed him away.

Turning from her, reading the message before she could grab the phone again, he finally saw the message. "Amy, you wrote that we could meet? I thought…"His voice broke off.

"You thought what Sheldon? WHAT? You didn't even read it? What happened to you need for closure? Huh? We had a fight, we are.. I mean…were.. going to have a lot of fights. I knew you needed to cool off. But you never responded. I knew you were running again. Running from us, from me. "

"I couldn't take it that you would break it off with me…"

Before he could finish, she was yelling, "I wasn't breaking it off! I have two words for you:** Thomas theorem** .

"God you're right!" Sheldon loved it when she spoke in terms he could understand.

From the another side of the door came the question, "_Who is Thomas_?"

Amy yelled back to closed door, "_Self fulfilling prophecy. God, look it up on Google_!"

Amy turned her head back to Sheldon, "We needed time, Sheldon. We needed time to work out things. You were impatient, you wanted what you wanted, NOW. Just like always. So you ran away. AGAIN!"

Finally, he looked at her with heavy shoulders and pained voice he said, "No, I wasn't running away, I thought you were breaking up with me. I realized how you must have felt this summer. When you didn't want to move in with me, I thought, "this is how Amy must have felt." I couldn't imagine you wanting to be with me after that. After I broke up with over email, after I left you in May without a goodbye. I couldn't imagine how you could forgive me. I thought you were done, forever."

"So you gave up?"

"I didn't think I deserved you."

"Horse Hockey."

"Excuse me?"

"Bollocks, balderdash, Bull! Do you want me to go on, that's just the B's. You are lying Sheldon Lee Cooper, Lying through your teeth. "

Defiant crossed arms and an arrogant twitching look accompanied the next line, "Amy I don't lie."

"We both know you do, you just suck at it!" Amy always got a salty tongue when she drank.

Still twitching, he replied, "Why on earth do you think I am lying about this? And by the way, I don't suck at it."

"Well, Mr. Twitchy, I wouldn't go playing poker anytime soon. You are lying to yourself. You didn't pull away because you didn't think I deserved you, you ran away again because you couldn't deal with emotion of guilt! You were running away from your emotions, AGAIN!"

Sheldon took a step back, holding on the machine. She was right. He couldn't deal with the guilt. That's when things got hazy, got confusing: When he was overwhelmed with guilt. First regret, then guilt!

"You're right."

"Of course I am." Amy was not giving any brownie points to Sheldon for his new discovery.

Leaping off the dryer, Amy was on her feet now. "Maybe you're right too, Sheldon. Emotions are too much for you to handle. Hell, maybe I can do that kolinahr thing again. Worked before for me. After this week, I am done with them again."

Sheldon rushed to her, grabbing her by the shoulders, "Don't you dare. Just because I'm an idiot, doesn't mean you should shut them out. I don't think you could, you don't have it in you…"

Amy shrugged away from him with an icy glare. "You think you're Captain kolinahr , don't you? You are rookie, you have no idea how long I have suppressed my emotions. _"I don't have it in me," _HA! Try 4 years of suppressing them. Suppressing my feelings of disappointment, anger every time you said some snide comment or ignored me. Hiding that I loved you, because you would mock me. Try the last 4 months, suppressing the feelings of rejection, hurt, feeling of failure that our relationship was over and it was my fault. What have you done? 4 days? 4 days of feeling regret, and hurt? Please! You're a noob. "

The voice from the other side of the door shouted, "_Did you just call him, "Captain kolinahr _?"

"Yes."

Howard's voice laughed out, "_That's hysterical."_

"I have my moments."

Sheldon yelled at the door, "If it's not too much trouble, I would like to talk to Amy now, peanut gallery..."

"I have my moments too, but lately, my moments have been filled with dumb moves, and false assumptions. I'm so sorry, Amy." Sheldon moved towards Amy, but she moved away from him.

Sheldon came up to her, within an inch of her downtrodden face. He wanted to hold her, but he didn't dare. Just his proximity begged for her to look at him. Finally, fighting all her pain, she looked at him. Two pools of cobalt met her eyes; begging for forgiveness that he couldn't quite verbalize. She was still upset, still hurt. How could he give up so easily?

"Sheldon, I may not have your eidetic memory, but I do remember this sentence: "I never want to lose you again, Amy. Not because of anything or anyone, even myself." Did you mean that? Or was that just to make me stay?"

Sheldon reached up and lightly touched her face. Generously, she allowed it for the briefest of moments.

All his fears were flowing out. "Of course I meant it, Amy, but when I thought you had given up on me, I lost all hope. I thought I couldn't be the kind of man you needed without you. I told you I didn't know how to handle these new emotions. When I started to realize what I had done to you this summer, I couldn't think. I need you Amy, but I don't deserve you. I just want you to be happy. I can't imagine that happening with me. "

His defeatist attitude was crumbling her faith in them. Amy pulled herself away from him, hands linked together with two fingers on her lips. She was plotting her thoughts, crafting her words. Finally, she spun around, hands on her hips, "Let's use that memory of yours to good use. What did I say was the worst part about your termination notice you sent me last week?"

"That I broke what was the best about us: Communication." Sheldon had broken it again, yet again proving that he wasn't ready.

"And yet, you didn't read my text, didn't call me, didn't discuss these fears of yours. You simply retreated into the Sheldon land of denial."

"You were so mad Amy, so upset and hurt. I thought you finally figured out that I wasn't good enough for you." Sheldon verbalized his biggest fear: Amy was better without him.

"Sheldon, do you think I am intelligent?"

"Of course."

"Do you think I am smarter than you?"

"Concerning what topic?"

"This isn't a quiz show, Sheldon. Concerning the current discussion."

"In most things related to the current topic, dramatically so, yes."

"So, when I said we were going to work things out, what do you think? I didn't know my own motivations? Don't you dare think for a moment that you can determine what I deserve. If I wanted to be with you, you should have respected me enough to know that was the right decision. I know what made me happy, Sheldon. You did."

"You said, "If you wanted to be with me"… that was all in the past tense…." Sheldon hung his head. Not knowing what to say. This was an emotional minefield. He was ill prepared for his own emotions, let alone how his actions affected someone he cared for so deeply. This is why he didn't want to deal with emotions. This is why he ignored them for so long, they overwhelmed him, confused him, crippled him. He never let her close because he to avoid this pain.

Amy saw him running through his paltry emotional Rolodex. He didn't know what to say, didn't know how to react. She had to lead him to it. She could make or break the relationship with one word. She had all the power. The question was, did he want to try anymore, or was he ready to give up? Actually, the real question was did she want to give up? She was so hurt, that if it wasn't for that blocked door, she would already be gone. There was only one thing she couldn't ignore: The blue-eyed man leaning on the door.


	23. Chapter 23

As Amy was staring at Sheldon's downtrodden head, and sleek form leaning against the door, she said the most unlikely thing that came to her mind, "Most unattractive."

"What are you talking about Amy?" Sheldon was rarely confused.

"Your lack of confidence, its unattractive. I never thought I would use the adjective to describe you. One of things I love about you is your confidence. It is, dare I say, SEXY! The people on the other side of that door sometimes call it arrogance. However, I know the secret."

"What secret?" Sheldon was standing more straight now, confused by her backhanded compliment.

"That arrogance is only a valid term if the confidence in the subject is unmerited. In your case, this is rarely true. But right now, as I see your confidence draining from you, it is most unattractive, Sheldon"

"While is it true I am gifted in most areas, when it comes to being a supportive and attentive mate, I am sorely lacking. I feel like a fraud of a boyfriend."

"Impostor syndrome."

"That is the most romantic thing you said to me since you said you were embarrassed for me!"

Penny, listening on the other side of door turned to Leonard," _What in the hell is that_?"

"_Impostor syndrome is a psychological phenomenon where someone doubts their ability, even if evidence is presented showing their competence. Boy, Amy really can speak Sheldonian."_

Both Sheldon and Amy shout at the door, _**"Shut up!"**_

Amy jumped toward startled Sheldon, backing him up with each word off her lips. "Two days ago, you asked me what I wanted. I am ready to tell you now: I want someone who will talk to me about his emotions and won't ignore them. I want someone who will think of me and not just himself. I want someone who wants to grow with me. I want someone who will not run away when it gets tough, I want someone who _WANTS_ to make love to me, even if he can't. I want someone who wants to support me, even if he doesn't know how. I want someone who loves me, even if he doesn't know how to express it. I want someone who isn't afraid, willing to try because he knows it is worth it. I want someone who knows, better than anyone, that we can work anything out, ANYTHING, regardless of how long it takes, regardless of the words. He wants me. That's what I want, Sheldon. Can you do that?"

Sheldon didn't answer, he just grabbed her face with both hands, pulled her into him, kissing her with every ounce of energy he had. Hoping his actions said more than he ever could.

_"Is he kissing her now, I cant hear anything..."_

_"Shhhh, you'll ruin it..."_

Slowly he pulled away to see her face, brushing away her hair. "I want to Amy, so much. I am just afraid I'll screw it up again."

Amy put her hand on his chest, rubbing the outline of his iron on logo. "I remember a quote, "Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration."

"That is from Frank Hubert, Dune, a science fiction book. You are quoting a science fiction book?"

Looking up with a wink, Amy said, "Yeah, well, I am just that awesome, Tex. "

"Yes you are, my little vixen."

"Do you want to work on our relationship Sheldon?"

"Yes, I want you Amy. With all my heart and soul, I want you. I don't know how to say I'm am sorry without ruining it. I don't know how to deal with your hurt or frankly, mine own. I am not going to be good at dealing with emotions, and we still have… Well…. Other areas…" Before he got too uncomfortable, Amy cut him off.

"Listen Sheldon, I am not asking you to become some sex starved manic like Howard."

"_HEY!_" cried the closed door.

"Sorry, Howard… Nor am I asking you wear your emotions on your sleeve, like someone we know."

"_I know you're talking about me, Amy…_" Raj was not amused.

"_Sorry Rajesh!"_

Amy continued, "And I know you have issues to deal with, but I won't bring them when you are not ready."

"_Is she talking about us now, I just don't know!"_ Penny was as confused as always.

"I am just asking you work on these issues, put some thought and passion into our relationship that I have seen you pour into so many of your projects. Can you do that?"

Smiling, Sheldon said, "Okay, I'll try."

"Do or do not, there is no try."

"Quoting Yoda now, really Amy? You really want me to kiss you again, huh?"

"You made me watch that movie so many times, I can quote it my sleep."

"I'd love to test that theory."

"Slow down Dr. Cooper, we're not there yet. Here is what is going to happen. I want you to know exactly what to expect. We are going to meet, in a week's time. "

Sheldon tried to hide his disappointment, which was not unnoticed by Amy. "Yes, Sheldon. One week. That is it. I need time to think, wash this hurt away or our new relationship will be tainted with resentment. That is why I wanted a week. Also, frankly, after this girl's night, I need to sober up a little. Do you understand now?"

"Yes, Amy, you were right. A week is a perfectly reasonable request."

"Okay then, next Saturday, we will work on a new relationship agreement. Right now, our relationship is like system with mechanical equilibrium. We need to apply a Second derivative test to determine its stability."

"Absolutely, correct as always Dr. Fowler."

Howard exhaled and whispered, "_God, is she referencing the test that tells whether or not a system is stable or unstable. God that is so hot!."_

"_Using physics to talk to Sheldon, she really is a vixen, isn't she_." Leonard was impressed with Amy skill, and frankly, a little turned on. Penny was lost as ever.

Amy ignored their whispers and continued. " It will be different, Sheldon. Our relationship before was like an open loop controller."

"You are so right, it was. I never used feedback to change the system or make adjustments."

"And therefore, you were never able to change the system or learn from it. "

"_God, I need Wikipedia just to understand these two."_ Emily added

"_Welcome to my world_." Penny exclaimed.

"Therefore, I am not going to lie about my feelings to you anymore. I am not going to hide my feelings. If I am upset, you are going to know. You are going to have to deal with it, but I will help you. You already have two strikes, Cooper! If you run again, that's it. I can't do this again."

"First of all, I just want to say thank you for giving me so many chances. Amy, if it wasn't for you, I would have lost the one and only woman I have ever loved or wanted to share the rest of my life with and that would have crushed me. Secondly, I want you to know with out any doubts that I love you Amy Farrah Fowler. I want to work on this relationship and I am not going to run away. "

"We still have intimacy issues to deal with, Sheldon. "

Sheldon was uncomfortable now, but not wanting to show it. Amy read this in his eyes, his touch.

"However, Dr. Cooper. I have an idea. Two words: **Joseph Wolpe"**

"That's genius!" Sheldon leaned down and kissed Amy again.

"_Oh, crap, who the hell knows what they are talking about now! Open the damn door and let them out of the laundry room before they start talking in code!"_


	24. Chapter 24

Coupling off, the rest of the gang quietly ascended the stairs from the laundry at Los Robles; each pair with their own issues to wrestle but with their steps a little lighter than before.

Amy and Sheldon were the last pair, and they were anything but quiet. In fact, they hadn't stopped talking since they left the laundry. The other couples listened to tidbits about of Joseph Wolpe, Reciprocal inhibition, the benefits of double blind studies and control in experiments. It almost seemed the other couples were eavesdropping on their foreplay, and they all made a quicker pace up the stairs.

Once on the 4th floor, the couples separated to the two apartments. Raj told Emily he loved her. She responded with an, " I know," that gave Raj and shutter of hope down his spine. Howard and Bernadette promised that she wouldn't stay too long, with a wink. Penny and Leonard just kissed and kissed, separately only to breathe. Finally, Amy returned to 4B with the girls but not before whispering something to Sheldon's ear, which made him blush and eye her up and down before he went into 4A, sighing out, "Vixen."

"Spill! Who the hell is Joseph Wolpe, Amy? Some sex toy salesman? And what is the reciprocal thing you were talking about on the stairs?"

"Ha! Sex toys? Nothing so crude. Joseph Wolpe came up with the idea of desensitization therapy for modification of behavior. Wolpe also experimented with Reciprocal inhibition therapy is where a undesirable response can be unlearned. I just hinted that if Sheldon wanted to address his fear of intimacy, we could employ some of his techniques. It is up to Sheldon if he wants to though."

"So how's that gonna work, you grab him till he's used to it? Or begs for more?"

"No, no grabbing... He would hate that. We have to ease into it, gradually. I first have to make sure he wants to be intimate. I am not going to force him."

"Given that look he gave you before he went into his apartment, he definitely wants to. Hubba Hubba, Amy! You sure know how to deal with Sheldon! What did you whisper to him?"

Amy ignored the question, quietly sipping her wine with a slight grin on her face masked by the glass.

"Yeah, I'll be honest, I didn't have much hope. Sometimes he seems thick a brick. You can really talk to him." Emily was so impressed with Amy. She was even thinking about talking to her sometime when they were alone on how to deal with Raj. Emily wasn't the only one thinking it. Penny could use some pointers too.

"It's that neurobiologist's background, huh Ames? You really know how to read him." Bernadette knew Amy was good, but that was pretty slick how she got Sheldon to open up.

"Well, it's not my background, but that helps. It's another motivation." Amy thought to herself, _They could never understand that I love him with everyone synapse of my brain, every cell of being. I study him, his wants and needs, not because I __need__ him to change, or mold him or manipulate him. I want him to change because I know he will be better for it. I want him to want it, though. Everything about him fascinates me, like nothing ever has before_.

"He's a lucky guy, Amy."

"Sheldon doesn't believe in luck."

"Well, he didn't believe in love or wanted to kiss anyone either… So there! It's like the psychic said, 'everything will come together when you commit yourself to Amy…'" Penny had told Amy about that night with the psychic, but Amy thought it was something that scared Sheldon. Amy was actually pretty upset at Penny for taking him there. Sheldon didn't need any more scares when it came to their relationship.

"Well, if it was a psychic telling him that, no wonder he ran away. He would never want to give that mumbo jumbo any credence. Listen ladies, enough of me and Sheldon, let's go out! Let's go do something! The night is young!" Amy was still pretty tipsy, probably why she was able to tell off Sheldon without thinking about editing her words. She had to watch that, but tonight was not the night for censorship.

"No way, I am going to get my Howie and go home. This night was exhausting. I'll see you gals later. Amy, call me later this week, I want to ask you some stuff."

"Okay Bernadette… hey Em? Where are you going?"

"I'm going too. I want to go the observatory with Raj. He's been looking forward to it, and I want him to be happy. Call me tomorrow Amy; I want to talk to you too."

"Well, that's just you and me bestie!"

"Ames, its time I talk to Leonard. We've been fighting all week, and after tonight, there are some things I wanna to say to him. Can we call it a night?"

"Sure, but I just thought of something… How am I going to get home?"

"Hmmm… Maybe you can stay at Sheldon's and go home tomorrow?" Penny winked at Amy. "Let's go see how the guys are doing."

Penny and Amy went across the hall. Raj and Emily were just leaving. Howard and Bernadette were already gone. Leonard jumped up as soon as Penny entered and ran to her. They made a hasty retreat across the hall, leaving Amy and Sheldon alone.

Amy looked at Sheldon, who stood up when she entered the room. His pleading gaze had a hunger to it Amy had never seen this side of him. There was electricity in the air that Amy couldn't recognize.

She had to fight every instinct not to call back to Raj and Emily to drive her home, but she did so, timidly. It was going to be a long week for both of them.

"I think they left." His voice lowered an octave, "You know, you could stay here." Sheldon stepped closer to her, around the table and stopped. " You shouldn't drive if you have been drinking."

"I know that Sheldon, that is why I wanted Raj to take me. But I think I missed the bus, so to speak."

Sheldon timorously walked closer to her again, "Well, your car is here," one step closer, " and if you stay here," another step, " you could, " another step, " drive it back yourself." Yet one more step. He was within 7.6 inches of her now, his eyes were fixed on her, like a cat tracking a bird. Amy had not moved, or closed the door the apartment. She was trapped by his tractor beam of blue eyes.

"Well, that would be more …."Before she could finish, she heard Raj and Emily on the stairwell.

"Hey Ames, did you call us? What did you need?" Raj and Emily came back up the stairs. They ignored the death glare now fixed on them by a very disappointed Sheldon. "Did you need a ride home?"

Amy, shaken from her stupor by their voices, softly answered, "Oh, well yes, that would be great. Thanks. I'll see you next week, Sheldon. "

Sheldon held back his hands he wanted to wring Raj's neck with and instead, leaned down and kissed Amy on the cheek and whispered in her ear, letting his lips lightly glaze her neck. "Text me when you are home, so I know you are safe."

Her hand held her cheek like trying to hold a butterfly without crushing its wings. She wanted to stay, she wanted to hold him and forget everything but his touch. Instead, she just said, "Okay." That was all she could get out as if her tongue was held by force stronger than gravity.

When she was on the 2nd landing, she finally let the "Hoo" she had been holding in since the 4th floor.

* * *

Sheldon knew everything about the theory of Relativity, he just never expected to feel the effects so personally. Time dilation: "In the theory of relativity, time dilation is an actual difference of elapsed time between two events as measured by observers either moving relative to each other or differently situated from gravitational masses." Time was moving slower for Sheldon and it was killing him. It had been 15 minutes since Amy left and he had been waiting by his phone as each second ticked away. How was he to keep it together for the week? Saturday was a long 7 days away.

7 Days… It was about that time that she moved in and he was greeted with the compulsory, "zup." What a dramatic leap he has made in such a relatively short period of time. Was it really a leap, or just a revelation? Sheldon had been suppressing his feelings for Amy for quite a while. Now, as he runs through the catalog of his memories, it seems so clear. He had been in love with her for a very long time. Maybe even since that order of tepid water so long ago. Now, he recognized his feelings and wanted to act on them. He was ready to work on his fears of a physical relationship with Amy; he just needed it to go at his pace. But he didn't want to lose Amy. He was willing to do whatever she would come up with next week. Whatever it took, he wanted to make her happy.

The handful of times they kissed had helped his resolve. Their first kiss when Amy was his friend had fascinated him because he didn't run away after and clean his mouth with Lysol. He didn't find her kiss repellant. What a strange feeling. Now he finds he misses kissing her. Everything about getting more intimate was terrifying, but he ready to face it. Only, now that he was ready, he had to wait.

What she whispered to him earlier in the night helped his resolve as well. When Amy was on the landing, she whispered in Sheldon's ear, " You know, in order for Reciprocal inhibition Therapy to work, we need to do the experiment repeatedly in order to achieve the desired results. "

Of all the adjectives that could describe Dr. Sheldon Lee Cooper: Brilliant, clever, articulate, egoistical… Patient was not one of them.


	25. Chapter 25

**_Chemical_****_ equilibrium or Homeostasis requires a sensor to detect changes in the condition to be regulated, an effector mechanism that can vary that condition; and a negative Feedback_****_ connection between the two._**

Methodical, logical, careful, meticulous, precise, specific, defined, refined, polished: All these adjectives had to describe the relationship agreement. How could Sheldon have made that agreement over the time he waited for Amy to finish her date with Stuart? It seemed impossible. The drive back to Amy's apartment gave her little time to think of the wording, just the trepidation of undertaking such a monumental task.

Amy returned home that Saturday night with her head spinning. She texted Sheldon told him she was home, and safe. His reply distracted her for the next 3 hours as she struggled to sleep alone in her cold bed.

**_A—I am home and safe. Just wanted to let you know. Off to bed. Good Night_**

**_S—Thank you so much for your message. I am also off to bed as well. However, if I am honest, it will be difficult to sleep knowing you are not in the next room. If I am brutally honest, it will be hard to sleep at all thinking of you. Thank you again for speaking with me tonight. I look forward to next Saturday._**

**_A— As do I. Good night Sheldon_**

**_S—Sweet Dreams Amy._**

Amy spent most of Sunday working on the agreement. She kept most of the silly provisos for Sheldon's sake. It wasn't as if a Zombie Apocalypse was ever happening or Skynet was online any time soon or at all. Also, she had no qualm selling out the human race for the Dog uprising.

The sections she was struggling with concerned intimacy and the stipulations on date nights. She really should to talk to Sheldon about it, but she wanted to work it out on her own. She had worked up a good strategy for addressing his intimacy issues.

Sheldon had wanted to call her when he woke up in the morning. He forced himself to wait a full 5 hours 27 minutes before he pushed her phone number in his phone. He waited an additional 22 minutes before pressing send. She had stated he couldn't see her before next week. She never said they couldn't talk.

"Good afternoon, Dr. Fowler. Did you sleep well last night?"

"Yes, Sheldon, how is your day?"

"Uneventful. What are you plans for the day?"

"Frankly, I have been working on the relationship agreement all morning. I find it hard to believe you completed this document between the time you asked me to be your girlfriend and the time I got home from my date with Stuart."

Sheldon never wanted to admit he had written the document before her date with Stuart. He had been working on it since they had cuddled on Amy's couch that fateful night Amy so long ago, stamping out the fear to ask her to be his girlfriend. He figured in a few months or so, he would need to do so. Stuart's interest in Amy moved up his time table considerably. He never imagined she would say yes to Stuart. Such a remarkable woman with a lowly curator of picture books seemed the most unlikely coupling. Sheldon reasoned that Amy's need for companionship and generosity must have been the driving forces in her saying yes.

"Sheldon, did you hear me? How could you have made this document in such a short period of time?"

"Would you believe, I'm just that awesome, slick?"

"Not in the slightest." Amy knew when not to push him. "I might be working on this all day."

"I can help you..."

Amy cut him off, "Oh no way. This one is going to be different Sheldon. You'll see. I'll see you next week and we can discuss it."

"See you then Amy."

Finally, at 10:47 PM, she was done. Now all she had to do was wait… and wait… and wait. She hoped the anticipation would help Sheldon's resolve. It wasn't helping Amy at all. She really wanted to see him, however, those 4 months apart were good practice for her waiting. She didn't like it, but she was used to it.

* * *

Sheldon was not as patient. He was dying to see Amy and every minute of the day was torture. He spent his time challenging his passion into his new favorite topic. All things Amy. Leonard, Raj and Howard had to spend their lunches with Sheldon hearing about Amy's chancellor award, how she liked her tea, what the benefits of neurobiology were for the society at large. Sheldon wouldn't shut up and it was driving his friend's mad. Sheldon was like love-sick teenager. The guys thought, Saturday couldn't come soon enough, for all their sakes.

Sheldon texted Amy during the week:

_**S—Hello Dr. Fowler, I trust you slept well?**_

_**A—Yes, Dr. Cooper. Although morning came too soon.**_

_**S—Funny, I have notice the opposite effect of time lately. It seems to be slower. Thank you Einstein for making waiting for things a good opportunity for a lesson in Physics.**_

_**A—Sheldon, you would find anything a good opportunity for a lesson in Physics.**_

_**S—Correct as always.**_

As soon as Sheldon was done communicating with Amy, he turned to his white board. 5 hours passed and he barely noticed the time till Leonard came to take him home. His white board was filled with some promising work; the most work he had accomplished in 6 months. Leonard was astounded at his progress and a little impressed.

"Wow Sheldon, looks like your back in the saddle again!"

"I never left the saddle, Leonard, just let the horse take a break for a while." All the talk about how Amy was distracting him from science was forgotten. The evidence was as plain as the equations in front of him on his board.

"Anyhow, Thai food night, let go."

Sheldon was in a good mood, but he was a little on edge. Leonard knew why: he was having withdrawal symptoms. He needed an Amy fix.

As the week rolled on, Sheldon mood grew progressively worse. By the time Wednesday Halo night rolled around, Sheldon mood was sour as a lemon. After some close calls that almost had Sheldon committing "killtroscity" on the group in real life, the gang sought help. The guys begged Amy to see Sheldon for Lunch and she relented.

Amy had already had the habit of having lunch with the guys during Sheldon's absence. Now it was he who was the outsider. Sheldon wanted to have lunch with Amy, but knew he'd have to share her company with the other guys. Thankfully, she agreed to meet for lunch in the Canteen, neutral ground. She wanted to wait till the weekend, but she was dying to see him as well. It was a small compromise she allowed until their conversation on Saturday.

Sheldon loved how his friends and Amy got along; they seemed to grow closer during his absence. Her quick wit kept Wolowitz on his toes, she was always a welcome contributor to conversation and she usually backed him up in any argument that didn't have to deal with Sci Fi or comics. An unwelcome guest interrupted their pleasant lunch:

"CWooper… and Wloosers! Who is the lwolvely wady? Bwarry Kripke, my dear. " Kripke does a fake bow and tries to grab Amy's hand for a kiss before she quickly pulls away. Sheldon was ready to throw a tray at him.

"Kripke, kindly grace us with your absence."

"Not till you tell me who the wovely wady is, Cwooper. "

"I am Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler."

"**_THE _**Girlfriend?" Kripke gave a few raised eyebrows to Sheldon, indicating his unfortunate memory of their imaginary coital escapades. Amy caught on right away, she was no fool; also Penny had told her about Sheldon's blatant lie. Amy understood that the reason Sheldon bragged about his imaginary sexual conquests: He latent sexual desire and need to be considered an Alpha Male.

"I thought you two bwroke up? She was too much woman for you huh, Cwooper? Or did you beg her to take you back." Turning to Amy now, " I can help you out, wittle wady, if you are in need a real man."

Sheldon wanted to grab Kripke by the throat and put his head into one of Leonard's laser experiments, hoping his smug face would melt off before he utter another word to Amy. Just before he was about to pounce in a green-skinned rage fit, he felt something that instantly turned off his rage. Five soft finger tips on his knee; just the slightest touch. He followed the sensation from Amy's hand to her face and saw the subtle wink she gave him before she turned her ire to Kripke.

"Oh, that's where you're wrong, Kripke. I have all the man I can handle now. It was I who begged Sheldon to take me back. I became too insistent on sex and was overwhelming him with my constant coital demands. He had to cut me off to control my urges."

"Wait, he broke up with you because you wanted _**too** _much sex? That doesn't make sense." Kripke was as confused as Raj, Howard and Leonard. Sheldon just stared at Kripke and not wanting to look at Amy and give the lie away.

"Well, 5 times a night is a bit much, I admit. I was like a starving man at a buffet. But now, I'm learning to control my hunger for him."

"Your hunger?" Kripke throat closed up with envy.

Amy rose to the leave the table, "Yes, and if I behave and do what I am told, I get dessert. " She turned to Sheldon and winked at him. "See you this weekend, I will wait, as you requested. "

Amy also waved good-bye to the 3 other guppy-faced men at the table who watched her sashay away.

"Damn Cwooper. You're a beast! Come see me later and give me details! Wlater Woosers!" Kripke made a hasty retreat.

After Kripke left, the guys just stared at Sheldon, hoping he would explain Amy's confession. They wanted details as much as Kripke. He gave nothing away except a smirk and kept on playing with salad. _Saturday couldn't come soon enough._

_Friday night Vintage game night couldn't end soon enough._ Besides the patience inducing level on "Link to the Past, Tower of Hera", there was Sheldon, commenting on every point in the game. By the end of the night, the guys wanted to drop Sheldon off in Hyrule and leave him there. Raj quietly texted Amy, begging her to call Sheldon. It didn't take too much convincing, she was going to call him anyway to thank him for the unexpected surprize she found in her lab. A box of brownies with a card that stated, "Dessert is served."

After one phone call from Amy, Sheldon mood improved.

"Hello, Amy Farrah Fowler. How are you this evening?'

"I am well Sheldon. I wanted to thank you for the surprise today. It was most unexpected. I dont know how you got anyone to deliver brownies to the lab, but they were wonderful. Very cute card too, Sheldon."

"Well, I wanted to thank you for lunch yesterday, in more ways than one." He was nervous now, as he went into the kitchen to avoid his guest ears, "I probably should talk to you about Kripke and some things I have told him."

"Yes, Sheldon, I am aware of your deceptions. You are aware that sometimes constructed lies are masking our true desires?"

"I'll leave the psychology to you Brain monkeys. Frankly, I was quite impressed with your handling of Kripke yesterday afternoon." He whispered the next thought, "Although, I think your comments may have piqued his interest than deterred him... and he is not the only one. "

Amy didn't catch his hint. "Well, the boys will have to get the details from you. As the alpha male of your group, I thought it was important for you to maintain your superiority. My little ruse should keep Kripke guessing for a while. Changing the subject, I am looking forward to our meeting this weekend. "

"As am I. What do you think about having dinner here, then we can have our discussion. "

"That's wonderful, do you want me pick up dinner?"

"No I will cook."

With that, the eavesdroppers in the room dropped the controller and stared at him. Howard mouthed to Leonard, "_He knows how to cook?!"_

"Wow, Sheldon that would be wonderful. If your cooking is anything like your sourdough bread, I should be in for a treat."

"Let's hope so. How about 5:00 pm?"

"Okay, see you then Dr. Cooper."

"Good Night, Dr. Fowler."

After he hung up, the silly grin on his face couldn't be ignored.

"So, Sheldon… Since when do you cook?"

"Since always. I told you, I excel at everything. I just wont waste my talents on you miscreants."

Howard quickly added, "Given your mood lately, we would all be poisoned unless we came dressed in tights and a cardigan. Raj may be up for it, but I'm not okay with that."

* * *

Finally, Saturday came. Sheldon had everything ready: His mother's fried chicken, homemade biscuits and cobbler. The wafting aromas filled the apartment with smells of his home. Unfortunately, the smell drifted to the apartment next door as well. It was everything he had to keep Penny was sampling all the food before Amy showed up.

Sheldon felt he was channeling his mother, "You go on now, get on outta here, shoo…that's not for you."

"WOW, Sheldon this smells amazing. Save me leftovers."

"Never, I don't believe in leftovers. Now GET!" He snapped his towel at her.

"Alright, Shellybean. I'll go. I know how excited you are to see Amy."

"I find myself in unfamiliar territory. I don't know what she's put into the new agreement. I'm usually the one in control of these things."

"Well, sweetie, sometimes letting go is the best way to get what you want. Don't worry, Amy will listen to you. The important thing is that you are back together." While Sheldon was distracted with his thoughts, Penny grabbed a biscuit and made a quick retreat, "Good luck!"

Now Sheldon just had to wait for Amy. 4 minutes and 53 seconds.

_**Author's Notes: Thank everyone so much for your reviews. It really keeps me going. I just live for the feedback, I really do.**_

_**There will be just a few more chapters in this story and then a sequel story that will be rated M for obvious reasons. **_


	26. Chapter 26

_**Le Châtelier's Principle states that a system always acts to oppose changes in chemical equilibrium; to restore equilibrium, the system will favor a chemical pathway to reduce or eliminate the disturbance so as to restabilize at thermodynamic equilibrium.**_

Sheldon's thoughts were running like a freight train: "_4 minutes 52 seconds… 51 seconds….50 seconds… "Okay Cooper, Focus… She will be here any minute. She isnt 'going to throw herself at you right away, is she? Sure she is going to change the relationship agreement and it will definitely include intimacy. A physical relationship. Oh god… I am ready for this. I know I am. Breath. Okay 3 minutes 23 seconds. What if she wants coitus tonight? Oh god, I am not ready for that. I need to be prepared. I don't have any protection. Oh God, I cant do this. Cool off Cooper. Don't run. Just breath. What time now… 2 minutes. Oh boy, what if she wants coitus and I am not good at it? Will she leave me? I'm not ready for this. Oh why is she the one writing the agreement? She will probably put in coitus every date night! And make date night every night! Everyday! OH god! I can't keep up with that. She will be here any minute! Focus, breath. Kolinahr. I have to keep it together. Don't run. Don't run. What is she expecting? I need to know what I am supposed to do!"_

_Okay, she's here… Breath. Oh my she looks so pretty. I should tell her. I'll just kiss her, that'll work._

"Hello Sheldon, oh my… Nice to see you too!" Amy wasn't expecting a kiss right away, but she never would refuse it. She could tell Sheldon was nervous. Time to ease the tension:" OH my god, that smells amazing! What have you been up to in here, Chef Cooper?"

"Well, Amy, welcome to Galveston Texas: I have prepared my families best recipes. I hope you like it. Would you like to eat now, or talk about the agreement first?" _Eat first, Eat first, Eat first._

"Definitely eat first. We have all night for the agreement. No rush, it's not going anywhere. I'm starving."

As Sheldon starting dishing out the food, he became more and more relaxed. Tension seemed to slide off his shoulders as their conversation drifted from work to the latest science journal, to the best way to fry chicken.

"Sheldon, it is so cute how your accent gets thicker when you're talking about home. I bet if I ever see you in your native Texas, I will really pick up your drawl."

"I'm sure you will see Texas someday Amy. I would love for you to meet Meemaw. She is a remarkable woman." Sheldon face always lit up when he spoke of her.

"Well, that is a good seque. Family visits are part of the new relationship agreement."

"They always were part of it, Amy…" Sheldon was confused.

"Yes, but this time, there are no loopholes. I don't want another instance like my Aunt's birthday a few years ago. Why don't you go relax on the couch and I will let you look over the agreement while I clean up the dishes. It is the least I can do to thank you for this fabulous meal."

Moment of truth. Amy pulled the agreement out of her bag and handed it to Sheldon. He held it in his hand, lifting it up and down as if he was reading it by it's weight.

Amy smirked, "It's all there Sheldon, nothing to worry about."

Sheldon moved to the couch, settled in and prepared for the onslaught of demands he was sure were in the new agreement. As he read the document, Amy busied herself in the kitchen, glancing his way every few minutes to judge his mood. Sheldon was a hard to read, so far so good though.

"You state upfront that this is a provisional contract? What do you mean by that? Am I on probation?" Sheldon was worried he was in trouble before he even started.

"No, silly, no probation. That clause shows that the agreement is a malleable document and we can renegotiate anytime. However, after 6 months, I want to redo it all again. I am expecting our needs will change, Sheldon. I think we will different in 6 months, in fact I am hoping for it. A new contract is an option, only. We can always keep the same agreement."

"Amy, I doubt my needs to be with you will ever change." Amy smiled at his declaration. "I have to ask, Amy, do you even want an agreement? I remember when you called it, "A ridiculous contract." Do you still think that?"

Amy paused, she was not expecting that question. Sure, to codify their relationship seemed silly at first. "Sheldon, some of your restriction on the last contract seemed, ridiculous. However, the foundation of the agreement is beneficial for both of us. You get a written document that outlines your expectations. I know you need that to feel comfortable. I get written proof of our relationship. I find it romantic, frankly. It is unique and I love that about us. We are nothing if not unique."

"Yes, I think so too. The guys raze me for the agreement all the time, but they have no idea how much it means to me or what it represents." Sheldon went back to reading. Amy stood and stared at him soaking in his words. In his subtle way, Sheldon was telling her how much he loved her. She knew it represented so much more than restrictions and rules. It was his love, in black and white.

"Amy, this agreement is very similar to mine. I see your contract law skills even surpass Priya, you have taken out a lot of the ambiguity from last agreement."

"Keep reading…" _Yeah, Ambiguity that was skewed in your favor._

"You kept the zombie clause? I thought you didn't believe in zombies."

"I don't, and neither should you given your intelligence. Really Sheldon! But the agreement is a codified symbol of our ability to compromise. Zombies stay in."

Sheldon read on. Date nights were once a week, unless either party was sick or busy with work.

"You increased the number of date nights?"

"Yes, once a month is just not enough for me get my Cooper fix." She winked at him, hoping he would take the complement and not question it. Surprisingly, he did, with a blushing smile. "When would it be?"

"Well, there is the interesting bit, we choice each week. I am not sure how rigid your schedule is now. I know your routine from before you left, but it might be different now. I didn't want to dictate terms."

"Well, that is thoughtful. Hmmm. Saturday is laundry, Friday is vintage game night, Wednesday is Halo, Thursday is still a good day. Although, I wont' mind Friday instead. I will see if I can change vintage game night to Thursday. We will do Friday."

"That's seems acceptable. Frankly, Sheldon, I am surprised you would want to change your schedule."

"Yes, well, the last vintage game night was a little tedious. Additionally, I am learning to be flexible." Sheldon didn't want to admit his friends were teasing him all night about Amy and he was ready to throw the lot out. But what he really didn't want to admit was that if they had their date night on Friday, he might be able to convince her to stay the night. He was positioning his chess pieces; he never forgot his ultimate goal of having her live with him. It really was the best solution for both of them, he thought. She just needed to be led to that conclusion on her own. If he pushed her, she would bolt. Unfortunately, he was not adept enough at human interactions to realize the irony in his plan. Amy was always the one who wanted him to do things, but had to hide her feelings less scare him off.

"Any cancellations had to be confirmed verbally with the other party. No questions asked." Sheldon liked the no questions asked part. However, after three cancellations the other party could request a relationship accord. Hmmm.

The relationship accord was a short 10 minute conference were either party discusses their feeling or concerns specially about the relationship. Conferences can be called at time both parties must agree the time is convenient. Both parties are allowed 5 minutes to speak their mind freely without interruption. Time will be measured by chess clock. If one party wants to go over their time, they must give equal time to the other party.

Sheldon really liked the idea of a set time to discuss feelings. "I just read the section on the relationship accords. I like that idea it reminds me of Scrum meetings for Agile Development."

"You mean the quick evaluation meeting computer software developers have to ensure each section is on the same page during a project?"

"Yes, I love that you always know what I am talking about." He leaned in and kissed her cheek which made Amy blush. "I like this idea for discussing emotions. I don't want to have to discuss feelings all the time."

"As you often say Sheldon, 'We're not hippies.' However, I am sure there are issues we will need to discuss. Historically, your phlegmatic response and reluctance to discuss your feelings have been off-putting at best. I was worried you would not like it."

"Well, I like the short time frame. We are both highly intelligent and articulate. I'm sure we can work anything out in under 10 minutes."

Amy smirked. _Oh boy, talk about wishful thinking._ "Have you gotten to the section on family visits."

"Just now…. Hold on Amy." Family visits were limited to twice a year and each party had one time they could demand attendance, no questions asked. This non-negotiated obligation may coincide with holidays. The new agreement called for the following holiday's to be celebrated: Christmas, New Years Eve, Thanksgiving, Pi day, Star Wars day, Birthdays, and Valentine's day. These events required both parties to be in attendance. Activities had to be discussed two weeks prior and agreed to by both parties. Gifts were not required for holiday's. However, if one party wanted to give a gift, the other party was not obligated to return the favor in kind. "You want to celebrate Star Wars day?"

"It is important to you. Valentine's day is important to me, as is my birthday. Compromises, remember Sheldon?" Sheldon nodded his head and read on. So far, seemed perfectly reasonable. She even included a descending list of important holiday's that were not on the list that could be nominated for addition to the agreement. Marie Curie and Einstein's birthday were included. "Can we take off holiday's and add others? I don't enjoy Christmas."

"No, Christmas is included under family obligations. We may not be religious, but our families are. Need I remind you that your mom's favorite holiday is Christmas? So is mine."

"I didn't know that was your favorite holiday?"

"Well, I never made a big deal out of it for your sake. But you must know. I love Christmas, the music, the decorations, time with friends. I'm a sucker for egg nog."

"I do love egg nog."

" Christmas was important in my house, and it is very important to me." Amy said more sternly, " You need to know that, Sheldon. Now that you do, I hope you will take it more seriously. As I did with your Star Wars day back in May."

"That cake was very original. I really liked that. Thank you again, Amy." Sheldon was having such a hard time that May 4th. Amy's cake was the bright spot in a very dark day. Amy never showed any interest in Star Wars before, but she made that cake, just for him. If she could do that, he could fake Christmas.

He went back to reading. Amy loved watching his eyes dart around as he read. She could tell he was a fast reader; yet another irresistible thing about his intellect.

Now Sheldon was tensing up, she could smell his fear. She knew he was about to read about the new intimacy clause. She braced herself.

**Physical contact section**. Sheldon let out a sigh and flipped the page, bracing himself for the coital based tyranny. He expected the worst. But all it said was "See New Intimacy Collaboration"

"What is this, Amy? Intimacy Collaboration? Where are the requirements for hand holding, kissing and such? Without the restrictions, you could just maul me and have your wicked way with me. " Sheldon voice was shaking. _God, What could this vixen be planning?_

She rolled her eyes, "When have I ever mauled you? Just, keep reading Sheldon…"

**_New Intimacy Collaboration shall supersede and void any physical requirements in the relationship agreement. Hand holding, kissing, touching will be under the prevue of the collaboration. _**

It states there are no expectations on physical contact other than during the intimacy collaboration, which is also not a requirement.

"Seems a bit restrictive, not to have ANY physical contact other than during the allotted time."

"Hey, feel free to hire a lawyer." Amy smirked, "Read that section again and think about it."

"No expectations… You really want to take out the expectations of intimacy, Amy? There would be none? I thought you wanted that."

"If you think about it Sheldon, I believe you do as well. However, you broke up with me 2 weeks ago BECAUSE of expectations. I have removed them. Now, if you want to touch me, just do it. No expectations."

"But Amy, without the expectations, I might not touch you at all. Then you will be upset, and leave me! This is unacceptable."

"Sorry Sheldon, this is the new cruelty." Amy smirked at him, he was not amused. Sheldon thought he needed those requirements to remind him to be intimate with Amy. It wasn't on the forefront of his mind without them.

"Amy, without the requirements, I won't be intimate. "

"Really, you won't? Than what do you call that kiss you just gave me not 5 minutes ago. Or the one gave me not one hour ago right over there?" She pointed to the door. "Additionally, I remember a rather heated kiss on this couch not 7 days ago when we were discussing, hmm. what was the topic? Something about a shower?"

Vixen… "umm… Yes, well those were just heat of the moment kisses. Not required."

"And those are the best kind Sheldon. Those are the kind of kisses that take my breath away, that keep me coming back for more. Those moments of affection mean more to me than any of the forced kisses on our date nights last spring. More than the hand holding at the movies. That is what I want Sheldon. Passion like that, not you just checking off a list of requirements."

"But without those requirements, how will I be able to…" His voice drifted off. He was disappointed, lost on how to proceed.

"Please read on, you're not done yet. "

**_Intimacy collaboration. _**

"**_The intimacy collaboration will be a join venture between one Sheldon Lee Cooper and Amy Farrah Fowler. The collaboration will be exploring the mutual desire for greater intimacy. To wit, both parties will agree to sessions that will work on intimacy with the only goal being to become more comfortable with each other's touch. It will conducted in phases. A phase is only complete if both parties agree. After each phase is complete, that phase is considered a completed zone."_**

"Completed zone? What does that mean?"

"It means, we can touch each other there, without rejoinder."

"So you can touch me wherever?"

She rolled her eyes again, "Sheldon, read the agreement again. BOTH parties have to agree. If you don't want to move forward, that means you're not comfortable. Ergo, not a completed phase. capisce?"

"I capisce everything, but I am still uncertain on the wording."

"Like what?"

"Only goal being Comfortable? Shouldn't it say… hmmm. Coitus?" Sheldon thought that was the ultimate goal of intimacy. He knew Amy wanted to engage in coitus and was working on getting him there. This new collaboration only requires that they are comfortable?

"No Sheldon, coitus is only one type of intimacy. Let me quote you, "what we have is extremely intimate." I hope you would want to work on being more comfortable with touch. With touch, it doesn't have to be sexual in nature. " She holds his hand, as he tenses up. "See, this is not sexual, but it is intimate. You are not relaxed with it. If you were more exposed to it, in an environment that _you_ control, you would be more comfortable. Then if I say," She touched his arm, "touched you there, you would be ready for it."

"This is what you were referencing Joseph Wolpe; desensitization therapy?"

"Yes, but our own version, to help us both get over intimacy issues. You sometimes forget Sheldon, I am the same girl who laid out a TSA agent for getting too handsy."

"I heard you have quite a right hook."

"I do, but I dont want you to find out in person. Hence, this therapy is for both of us."

"The requirements seem too ambiguous. With no strict measurable benchmarks, how will we know that we are comfortable?"

"We will tell each other. That is it. Read how we would proceed..."

"Wait, what if you are ready and I am not?"

"Then we not continue with that phase until you are. No one is allowed to touch the other without permission."

"You're touching me now." Sheldon looked at her hand, which hasn't moved from his arm.

"Yes, well you haven't signed the agreement, Tex." She stuck her tongue out at him and then winked while she removed her hand.

"Fine. Tell me more about these phases."

"First phase is hands. We merely touch hands for a set time."

"Amy, we already held hands before. This doesn't make any sense."

" And yet you still tense up if I touch your hand. We will not go the next phase till we are completely comfortable with each other's touch."

"I assume the last phase is a total body sweaty love fest?"

"No Sheldon, it is not…" Amy thought, he really needs to read this agreement…" After we proceed through the 5 phases then we have an evaluation and plan our next step together. Read on!"

**_Phase One: Hands_**

**_Phase Two: Arms_**

**_Phase Three: Face and neck_**

**_Phase Four: Legs (only 5 inches above the knee)_**

**_Phase Five: Back_**

"The legs one is going to be weird."

"I agree, I am going to have a hard time with that too. But, the other day when I touched your leg before speaking to Kripke, you tensed up. I don't want that. I should be able to lightly touch your leg without your repulsion."

"Well, it wasn't repulsive, per say."

"Well, it wasn't comfortable for you. I think my point is made here."

"So just the 5 areas, that's it? No swim suit areas? Or the like?"

"Yes Sheldon, that's it. What did you think? I was going to put a time line for coitus in our new relationship agreement? Or make you fondle me because of some contract? What kind of savage do you think I am?"

"Well, I thought that is what you wanted? Uh, coitus that is, not the fondling thing."

"I do want coitus, but only IF and WHEN you are ready, and not because of some requirements. I am not going to hold our relationship hostage because I want to have sex with you!" Amy was a little flustered now. How could he think she would dictate when they have sex?

"I was expecting that. I am sorry…" Sheldon was a little embarrassed now because all his worrying.

"Look Sheldon, I love you. I want to be with you, in every way possible." The last statement caused Sheldon to swallow; his Adam's apple floated up and down.

" I don't have as much of a problem with physical contact that you do. That being said, it doesn't mean that I wont be uncomfortable when you initially touch me. I am as new to this just as you are. The difference is that I want to try. I think you do as well. But I am not going to force you if you aren't ready or even if you don't want to. I just want to be with you. I would hope the feeling would be mutual, even if it is difficult." Amy was looking down now but not slouching; uncomfortable with her confession but imperturbable in her resolve.

Their relationship was so vastly different than before Sheldon went on his train expedition. Amy always hid her feelings; afraid she would reveal too much and scare him away. She always walked on egg shells anytime she discussed her wants. Now she is telling him exactly what she wanted. It was hard road to start down without feeling timid. It was new ground for her but her confidence had grown this last week. She was going to say what was on her mind, and take the chance.

"Amy," Sheldon lifted her chin so she would look at him. Her green eyes met his gaze. "Thank you for being so patient with me. I know I am difficult and this is scary for me. Thank you for going at my pace. I dont know if I will ever be ready for coitus, but this is a good start." He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the lips, his hand never moved from her chin.

"Well, hoo… Yes… Sure… " Amy couldn't think when he had his eyes linked to hers. She was lost in his blue pools. After finding her composure. "Additionally Sheldon, if we do engage in coitus, I don't want to be the one who controls it. At least not at first. "

Now it was Sheldon who was lost in her eyes that have grown darker as the space between them closed. "What do you mean, Dr Fowler?"

"_What I mean, Dr. Cooper, that if we engage in coitus_." She looked him up and down, licking her lips, "_I want you to control, the when_," She moved close enough to kiss his mouth, but didn't, "_the where_," light fake kiss again, "_how long_," she barely rubbed her lips over his without kissing him, " _and how intense. I want you to control everything. I want you to tell me what to do._" Now she whispered in his ear without touching him, "_And Dr. Cooper, by the time we are ready for that, you will know exactly what to do."_

Sheldon let out what could only be described as a, "Hoo." He looked at her with darken eyes, drinking in her breath.

"Where do I sign?"

**_Authors notes: Stayed tuned for the "Intimacy Collaboration for _****_Systematic desensitization" Or" Sheldon and Amy get busy!"_**


End file.
